You say that you "know there's no stopping the momentum of [your] actions at this point," which sounds an awful lot like you're resigned to the fact you consider yourself powerless to stop yourself.

It's a big decision. I don't recommend it, in spite of what I wrote before. It's an abuse of trust; the one and only saving grace of what I wrote (which I am aware that most people would consider despicable) is that one takes elaborate pains to ensure the other party isn't hurt in the short term.

The will to cheat is indicative of a problem in the relationship you currently have, and you need to unravel that in your head. Be brutally honest with yourself; it might hurt, but it helps. Write things down to get them out your head, to realise them, to externalise them. Talk to your partner.

Most people go through it like this:
[a] cheat
leave
[c] talk.
That's assuming, of course, that they ever make it to talking. This is the easy way.

This is the hard way:
[a] talk
leave
[c] cheat.
The difference is that the hard way works. Cheating should be an absolute last resort. If you're genuinely tied into a situation that has no exit, then I think the decision to cheat is virtually made for you. In that case, refer to what I penned above.

Ach, it's not my place to give you life advice. I just... I don't know. The last thing I would say is that your statement that you even know who the man is and how it would go is a dangerous one. Life is never, ever like the fantasies. You can play out scenarios in your head until you go blue in the face, but you can never prepare for motives and actions on the part of the other that you don't understand, and they will happen. Trying to realise fantasies is a dangerous game.

My advice would be not to do it. I know that's hypocritical, but...

 

Yeah I fucked my girlfriends younger sister when she was drunk

 

What is the purpose of cheating when you can always break it off with your partner? people that cheat obviously don't give a damn about anyone else, but themselves and the person they are cheating with, so what's the point in being in a relationship? I think it's real selfish that someone would another's time if you weren't serious about them.

I can honestly say I am glad that there's no one special in my life, only dating buddies.

 

I did It, Because I Knew He Will Never Forgive Me

I Did it with His Best Friend, But Also His Boss and He Could Never Touch Me Or Bother Me again o Even Beat Me Up, But Was a Way To Get Even With Him, He Was Fucking My Mother, at The Same Time He was My Boyfriend, and To Make Him Rmember I Became His Best and Boss Girlfriend.

 

yes i have cheated, 2yrs at the time but i continueded cheating with the same person for about 6 more yrs...he found out because the person i was cheating on him with, called him..guess he didnt wana share anymore:excited:... so i made up some excuse and he believed me...
no im not with him anymore... i did not feel guilty at first, i know he didnt deserved it..i just felt that i was never going to be serious with the person i was cheating on him with...( hahah 6 yrs is pretty serious)
i resently spoke to him.. i felt so guilty, hes half the man he used to be... and i feel i had a big part in that...so i guess im OK as always but what i did was not OK....

 

I did It, Because I Knew He Will Never Forgive Me

 

If I am committed to someone I will not "cheat" on them. However, I've been the mistress. Just as X_Orion has explained about being the cheater, as the mistress you should bind yourself to certain rules as well.
You can't EVER become jealous of your lover's S/O.
If you can't keep your emotions out of the bed, then you should end it immediately.
Remember that there's another person involved, even if you don't know them, and you could potentially hurt that person.
You are fulfilling a need, if you want more than that, break it off and find someone you can have that with and from, don't destroy someone else's happiness because of your own selfishness.
Establish boundaries and when it's over......LET IT GO.

 

+1

I've never cheated, but I've been cheated on. I never thought I would screw around with someone who was in a relationship after going through the crap I went through, but actually I found being the mistress surprisingly easy.

 

As my motto said, love is more than sex, but sex is lovely...

From my very personal point of view, I've always have made a great difference between love and sex.

Of course, when combined, it is the greatest goal you could achieve!

Still, sometimes, for me, as a man, I was longing to dig, sexually, into another woman than the one that I loved (and still do!).

Metaphorically speaking, even if your partner is the greatest cook, still, from time to time, you go to eat in a restaurant...

Further more, after going astray, I was always having even better sex at home!...

Anyway, just like X-Orion has described, I have always been full of paranoia when it came to cover the tracks - I believe it's just stupid to give yourself a few hours of pleasure in exchange of a loooooong time of regrets...

 

Yes, when I was married to my ex-wife. I was young, and stupid,and only married her because she lied to me and said she was pregnant. We had crazy no holds barred sex every night while dating, then literally had sex twice a year after the ring went on . Still I regret cheating. Never done that in the 15 years since we divorced.

 

I cheated on my wife of 20 years three times. The first was a woman at work. We had an affair that lasted three months, or so. We worked second shift and were able to easily meet at work, her apartment, wherever. We fell in love and I was going to leave my wife for her. She felt guilty and left me. My wife never knew.
The second woman was at work as well. It lasted a month. I broke it off. Again my wife never knew.
The third was a chance meeting with an old high school friend. We had a one month affair when my wife found out. After another two months my wife became my ex-wife. I am still with the third woman. We have been together for three years. I have never cheated on her.

 

Yah cheated on my Ex girlfriend with my current boyfriend hahaha

 

Growing up, my mother was cheated on by my step-dad three different times (who was the bigger fool in that one?), so I knew early on the damage that causes. I never cheated on my ex of five years, we were even engaged. However, less than a year after I got home from Iraq, she cheated on me on one of my drill weekends (coincidently my birthday as well) and told me about it when I got home. Didn't even give me the chance to either dump her or work things out as she subsequently dumped me. Well, needless to say that devastated me, and 18 months after the fact is still not healed over. Didn't help that I learned from other sources, including her youngest sister, that she had cheated before during the whole relationship. Bottom line, I won't go down that road. I'll either take it like a champ and be miserable, or break off the relationship.

 

I feel your pain. I'm in almost the same boat with the same reasons, but mine has lasted longer and I can get her to enjoy it once we get started, but she will never start it and there is no foreplay, she just turned cold. The weird part is every other aspect of our relationship is perfect, that is what keeps me in check...for now.

 

Cheating means something different to everyone. To my husband and I cheating is anything you have to hide or lie about. With that said, no I have never cheated. I don't lie to husband and I dont hide things from him because I dont have a reason to.

I have had sex with other people while married though. So the meaning of cheating kind of lies with the beholder.

 

I was in the military for a few years and was amazed at all the cheating Ive seen. Some breakups too. Whether my army buds were male or female, or if it was them or their spouses at home that cheated, almost everyone had done it. I had told myself I would never do the same, but soon began fucking one of my platoonmates (highly illegal!) while my wife was at home taking care of our kid.

 

I recently started to enjoy being the other man. it is wonderful and terrible to know you may ruin a relationship

 

Is getting a blow job cheating?

 

No, but I think I've been cheated on. Not nice