It was a couple of weeks ago that my just 13 year old daughter threw it out there, “Mom, should I start masturbating?”Slap! I had no idea what to say, so ice-cream seems a reasonable diversion.

Horrified that I didn't have an answer I asked a bunch of parents: “Polly asked about masturbation, what have you told your children?”

There was silence, unusual for this bunch. No, still more silence. “Nothing” said one.

“My kids haven’t asked, I’ve told them about sex, but they haven’t ‘asked’ about how to masturbate!” said Sal.

We walked on, in silence once again until Simon concluded “tell them to go google it!” End of conversation. Are some topics that are best left to the internet to educate?

 

Well..
I'm not a parent but give them the basics, I guess. It doesn't sound like she seem particularly abashed by it, but at least tell her that it (and it really is) a normal part of .. growing up.

>_< Just don't make it awkward for her.

 

my dad and i joked around about it. but it was never explained to me or anything like that. just make it clear that it is part of growing up, and dont make it awkward

 

You have to stress to your daughter that masturbation is something that is done in private. As long as she is at home, give her the freedom to explore "herself" and think of a signal between the two of you so you don't accidentally interrupt anything.

Short answer, if she thinks she's ready she probably isn't. Yet. But support her when that time does come. You are a parent and should help her make the right choices.

 

amen to that, dont let the web teach her she will end up on here ffs.

 

I'm shocked a teenager would ask their parent or anyone about it. I remember feeling very embarrassed and self-conscious about it. My sister caught me once and I was mortified!

 

Oh my I don't even want to think about my two young children starting to masturbate yet but it is a normal part of life. But don't let it be taught to them by the internet and for obvious reasons you don't want to show her what to do, but tell her it is a private thing to do. I am impressed that she is open enough and comfortable to talk to you about it. I think this should be praised as she finds you to be a friend as we as her mother.

Now I would be mortified and have been many times being caught by my sister or brother and even my mom so I agree with cheltenham and try to come up with a signal so when she does do it that you allow her, her privacy from her father or any other sibling or anybody else that is there.

 

Idk.. My parents thought of it as, it's part of life I guess, like everybody does it and it's not like it's harmful

 

One of my most awkward childhood memories was when my mom tried to talk to me about masturbation. I was 11 or 12.

I played with myself from when I was about 4 on and my parents tried to stop me doing it (humping pillows and such). So maybe mom was trying somehow to express that as I was older it wasn't on the don't do list anymore. But the situation was a nightmare. I had kept on playing with myself, just hid it better and then one day mom says "Have you noticed that it feels nice to stroke oneself down there?" I was so shocked I don't remember what I did or said to that. Just a nightmare.

If parents want to educate their kids about sex they should by a book instead of "The Talk". At least in Finnish there are dozens of books for teens to learn about their own bodies and sexuality.

 

I like that theory they have

 

Same here. . ..I don't know why masturbating i still such a kind of "taboo" issue-I mean I am pretty sure almost everyone on this site has doe it so I would have to agree with the previous poster that it is normal.

When my son is older I plan on letting him know that this is a normal thing and he can do it all he wants in his room! The last thing i want to get a call about is him getting caught in an ally somewhere rubbing one out. . . ha ha

 

It May Be A Hard Subject!

My kids have been encouraged since they were 9 years old to ask anything at all as parents we signed on for this so, take a deep breath sit her down privately and don't betray her trust by letting her find out on her own! She trusted you enough to come to you the least you can do is listen and talk to her slowly if necessary, there's only a short time in which they still trust us and it encourages them to come to us when the problem is more severe?

 

That's a very forthright 13-year-old you have! I think that, once I got over the initial shock of the question, I'd tell her that I'm glad she asked me, that she should always feel free to discuss such things with me, that it's perfectly normal for her to masturbate, but that it's certainly her business whether she does or not. It's not a question of "should" or "shouldn't". I would also stress that it's a personal, private matter, something done behind closed doors, and that her parents would always respect her privacy.