Bump up

 

Great story!
I enjoyed the way: the opening introduces the nearly everyone;
the tale alternates between related but initially isolated plots; time marches on (reinforced by Helen's [mature] view of such inevitability); Sarah (so tersely foreshadowed as posessing a brilliance -- aka writing skills) brings them all together (the indoor picnic); and {{ like reality }} the sun seems to be setting so beatifully.

 

Settle down buddy! That was better than the story

Seriously, thanks nice to know you've studied it closely- and liked it

Yaay

 

Upwards and beyond.

 

Neither of us had any idea where this story was going, and neither of us expected such a satisfying ending.

Short list.

 

PP I loved this story. You took on two themes that in 1969 would have been controversial. I feel funny reading all the comments from others who say this was from past history. Hell, I was 25 in 1969, and watched some of the television shows, referenced in some of the stories, from that time. Yes, we did at times use aluminum foil to help reception. As to your reference to Wilber Smith, He is one of my favorites. All the stories had some reference to that era that brought back many fond memories. Thanks to all the authors, who through their incredible stories, take us readers on memorable journeys.

 

WAHOO!

A "Short List" and a "Loved"

Dare I hope that my little story actually gets a vote?

No, too risky; I'll keep the fingers crossed just in case.

Can't be too careful.

 

bounce

 

Bump

 

ditto

 

I remember a girl like that -- a stranger I spent time with at a party. I touched her ass slow-dancing, and got a VERY positive reaction.

I think you sell yourself short. None of us were alive during the time of BlackRonin's story, but it worked. A good story concept is a good story concept. Several of us took the Bryan Adams view and plunked our stories down in the hot months of 1969, at least as a starting point.

What you did here makes it pretty obvious you could have done it the other way, too.

The thing that "sells" this story the most is the parallel-worlds aspect. At times, it was a little challenging, since I was trying to read all entries quickly the first time through. The opening scene and initial get-together of the two couples was good enough that I stopped and re-read for detail right away.

Repeating my earlier comment -- "bringing the two story arcs back together was no mean feat" -- either couple's story could have stood on it's own, but introducing both stories at once, going off in different directions, and then gluing it all nicely back together was a job well done.

 

Yes, you're right, in fact I did write one set in 1969 and I decided it wasn't going to do anything and ditched it.

Here it is - the working Title was The Oasis in the Desert.

(Horse's two paras were to go here)

It was, everyone agreed, Pastor McHugh’s most stirring sermon. He told them of his vision; the whole church congregation moving to live as one to a spot he had described as “An Oasis in the Desert.”

Yes, the whole church body would move to a spot beside a river in Arizona. “An Oasis in the desert” were the inspiring he had used to describe it. He had held them in the palm of his hand as he told them and he knew that they too could see the vision. At last they could live as one; no longer would they have to come to church from their own houses being exposed to the corrupting influences of an ungodly outside world.

Everyone got behind the move and the chance now, finally, to live as the followers of Jesus. The move, of some forty miles, would be done on foot in two stages: firstly twelve members of the Youth Group, the Flying Squad as Pastor McHugh had so fondly called them , were to go on ahead to get the site ready for the rest of the Church members who would follow along behind in a day or two.

In keeping with their beliefs the tents and equipment the Youth Group would take on ahead would be carried in wooden carts shod with wooden wheels. These took quite some time to make but finally all was ready, the carts were loaded and with the cheers of the congregation echoing in their ears the Twelve were on their way.

By eleven thirty that morning they were down to a trudge. The six boys, each pulling a cart, were partnered by six girls. Each girl carried a golf umbrella which she used in an attempt to shelter her partner and herself from the sun.

The turn off to the oasis was eighteen miles along the highway and from the start they were the subject of varying degrees of support and antagonism from passing motorists and their passengers. A news crew had crawled alongside after twelve miles travelled and Carol had spoken brightly to them of the vision without actually saying where the oasis in the desert might just happen to be but she did invite the reporter to join the church. He had chatted amicably for another minute or so then sped away to add the droll comments for which he was famous to the sound tape.

Carol had been disappointed when he had driven, or rather been driven away by the lady behind the wheel. She had looked a bit miffed to Carol although why she should be Carol had no idea. All the same he was a very good looking man and there was something about the way he had looked at her that had given her the strangest of feelings inside. Strange really and she racked her brain trying to think of a psalm that covered what she had felt being just a little concerned that what she felt was not what a Virgin of Christ should feel.

Esther Peabody, one half of the last pair hated her name; she hated her face, her personality (not that she had any in her view), her body and her knees as well and repeatedly told anyone who would listen how glad she was the girls had to wear these long white dresses and bonnets so no one could see what she really looked like.

Her mood had not been helped by the fact that her partner Jacob was proving to be an unfriendly dour sort of a boy. Well he was twenty she reflected so he was more a man really but he had barely looked at her the whole time.

After a while she went to change the umbrella to her other hand as her right arm was getting sore but as she swapped it to the left hand a slight gust of wind caught the umbrella and jerked it up. She fought two handed to get it under control and Jacob looked up at it then gave her a little smile before once again looking ahead and putting his back into hauling the cart.

Esther Peabody looked straight ahead too only now she held her head up and there was a slight sway to her walk. He had smiled at her, he had, it was definitely a smile and she held the umbrella over the Youth Group Member she now thought of as My Jacob with not a moment’s concern about how sore her left arm might be getting.

Up front Carol felt her throat was too dry to lead another hymn and was relieved to see, as they rounded yet another corner on this long uphill climb, that there was some shelter up ahead. She pointed for Adam, her co-leader, and the others followed as she and Adam lead them over to the shelter. There the boys stood and watched as each girl took the rug off her cart; spread it out and, as the boys rested, poured goblets of water from the gourds they had kept out of the sun.

It was luke warm already but it was still wet and they drank thirstily. The girls drank from much smaller goblets and after ten minutes more rest Carol had them on their way again. The Prophesy was that they would be at the Oasis in the Desert by nightfall and they were well behind schedule already. There was no way Carol would want to admit to Pastor McHugh that her Youth Group had failed to fulfill his inspired Prophesy.

By two they had collapsed. The boys, even Jacob, could go no further without rest and grudgingly Carol had agreed to the already stopped group halting. They ended up going another fifty yards to squeeze into a narrow piece of shade. Once again the rugs came out with the girls sweeping any stones or twigs from where the rug was to be placed before laying it flat for their partners to sit on.

Esther and Joanna (rank five) hurriedly looked for twigs and branches with which the men could build a fire to heat the stew in Adam’s wagon. Carol looked on impatiently thinking what a trial that Peabody girl was as she saw the time passing before her very eyes.

The pot hung from a metal rod resting on two Y ended stakes and soon Carol announced that their meal was ready. They formed in a queue with the boys getting hearty portions first. Carol’s friend Roberta held two bowls (one for Carol) and into these substantial helpings were also served. The amount left was getting down considerably and Heather the fourth girl got just a few bits of meat but mostly vegetables and lentils while Joanna and Esther got mainly flavored water and a few lentils.

Esther looked into her bowl and up to Carol’s face then back at her bowl again. She looked up but Carol had that look on her face and she knew there was no point in complaining. She and Joanna moved to the side and ate what little they had quickly feeling just as hungry as they had before the meal.

Refreshed the boys, led by Adam, made a real effort but by nightfall they were still well short of their destination.. Carol was very disappointed. However there was nothing for it but to set up camp where they were and get the boys fed again.

As before Esther and Joanna were sent scurrying here and there in pursuit of branches and twigs. The evening meal was a vegetable and mutton soup with loaves of bread to go with it. It bubbled away in the pot and once again the Members of the Youth Group queued for their helping.

Again Joanna and Esther had tiny portions and again they didn’t complain; simply standing with the others in a circle as Carol said Grace.

Jacob sat on the rug and invited Esther to sit beside him. She blushed then sat as ladylike as she could with her bowl in front of her. He leaned over and peered into it.

“Have you started already?” he asked curious at how little there was.

“No, no my needs are small compared to you boys; this is quite enough for me,” she told him feeling quite weak from hunger.

He smiled at her.

“You did a really good job with the umbrella today, have some of mine,” and he spooned some of his portion into her bowl being sure to give her some meat.

‘You’ll need your strength Jacob,” Carol observed tartly annoyed at the tacit criticism of her sharing out of the food.

He looked at her, such a taciturn, silent young man she had thought him to be but his eyes blazed as he stared her down and she turned away to find something else to do. Esther was grateful for the food and ate her extra helping quickly but then realized Joanne still had only a small helping and hated herself for not sharing her extra portion with her friend.

She went to her gourd and poured a drink for Joanna handing it to her and mumbling an apology as she watched her drink it. Again she could feel Carol’s eyes on her and guiltily put the gourd away once Joanna had finished.

The women slept on the ground while the boys slept on the rugs and in the morning had their porridge. Joanna and Esther got a half sized portion this time and a mumbled apology (intended for Jacob not them) that there wasn’t a lot left.

Esther hadn’t cared; she and Jacob had talked during the evening and she knew he considered her to be his. So she walked proudly beside Her Jacob helping with putting her shoulder to the wheel when the going got really tough until they were finally there and the twelve stood on a grassy slope looking down to the flowing river of the Prophesy.

It was perfection. There was a pretty, flat area just up from the river bank perfect for pitching the tents and up on the slope the men folk could carve out a building site for the new Church and then the Community buildings as well could go up.

Esther stared in wonder; it was just as pastor McHugh had said it would be; how blessed she was to stand there at that very moment with the others. She felt something brush her side then a hand gripped hers. It was Jacob’s and he smiled down at her and nodded looking out across the grass to the river. She gripped his hand tightly and had to squeeze her eyes shut she was so happy.

Their next meal would be lunch and it was to be the time of the overthrow. Heather, a sturdy young woman, had been incensed by the size of her meals compared to the first three girls then horrified at the miserable amounts Joanna and Esther had received. As the contents of the pot bubbled away she simply took the ladle out of Carol’s hand. Carol tried briefly to hold on to the ladle which had suddenly become the symbol of power but had to concede. Esther’s very own Jacob moved to stand beside Heather and in one fell swoop Carol and Adam were now former leaders.

Carol churned. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be; Pastor McHugh had appointed Adam and her as leaders, but now they weren’t. Then something strangely wonderful happened for her; Heather put her arm out for her and when Carol went over she put her arm round and hugged her.

It was the hug of the leader and at that instant the cares Carol had felt were lifted from her and she knew Heather would take care of her as she would all the others. She relaxed and hoped that Pastor McHugh and Mommy and Dad wouldn’t be too upset but it was awful having to be bossy like that.

Lunch was shared out equally and afterwards everyone pitched in with a will so that by late afternoon the tents were up, the latrines dug and some of the boys had even been able to catch some fish in the river. These Heather had filleted, cut into chunks and added to the evening meal.

It had been the best meal of the lot with everyone feeling nicely full. Afterwards they sat together under the stars and sang their favorite songs of praise accompanied by Simon on his harmonica.

It was a still night and the result of two days of strenuous exertion was becoming more and more apparent- they stunk. In a group it became overpowering and Heather decided that they would bathe in the river.

Esther looked at Jacob- he would be able to see her nude when she bathed. Her anxiety wasn’t that he would look- she hoped he would- but that he would like what he saw. She had revised her original opinion on her looks and her body but still…He gave her a shy little smile and she beamed as she got up to go with the other girls to get her soap and shampoo along with her towels and nightie for afterwards..

Giggling and whispering they made their way upstream a little to a stretch of the river bank hidden by a small spinney which would shield them from view while they disrobed.
The water was cold and Esther felt her nipples harden as she came up from ducking her head under. She wiped the water from her eyes and sure enough her Jacob, standing a little away from the other boys, was watching her and to her absolute joy plainly liked what he was seeing.

She signaled for him to come in and watched as he nodded then went to get his towel and nightshirt ready. He pointed- could he use her soap?

Typical man, she thought fondly nodding with a big smile on her face. She smiled a lot now; it was a nice feeling.

Each boy made his way over to his partner and Jacob had stood nude before her on the river bank as if seeking her approval. He was tall with a powerful build, a rangy type who would fill out through his twenties, dark almost swarthy his nose was too big and his jaw too strong to ever be thought of as good looking but for Esther he was the most beautiful man ever born and she had beamed once more as she held her arms out for him.

He seemed to be bigger down there than the other boys but she frankly didn’t care; what she wanted was to feel his arms around her and to hear him tell her he loved her. Before this time something vague but nice would have done; not now. She watched as he waded to her his head slightly to the side as he looked her over with that cute smile on his face then locked eyes with her as they closed.

They hugged, Esther squeezing him as hard as she could with her once spindly arms and feeling the power of his embrace.

‘I love you,” he whispered.

She nodded and swallowed. All the eloquent words she had planned went out the window now. Near to tears she nodded and kissed his cheek.

“Love you,” she managed and felt him hug her so tightly.

She washed him, her hands going where a wife’s might with confidence and certainty. She wanted him; wanted him inside her, wanted to let her give herself to him and she brought her mouth round to kiss him. He kissed back and as he did she rubbed her breasts against his chest and her abdomen against his feeling his penis against her skin then reaching down to take it in her hand and lovingly caress it.

He hardened with her attentions but he was apprehensive; Pastor had given all the boys a stern lecture on their expected behavior and the Sins of the Flesh- along with the consequences of such. Esther was so sure though; she wanted him to take her. He looked into her eyes one last time and as she looked back at him she licked her lips, gave him “that look” and seduced him.

“Take me here darling, in the water,” she whispered in his ear and before he could answer she had taken her weight on her arms wrapped round his neck and swung her legs up to be round his waist. She held on with her left arm to guide his tip into her entrance with the right and lowered slightly to get his shaft to enter her.

Just a way in then she waited; she wanted him to take her, to thrust deep inside her and he did. He went deeper than she expected. The thrust had gone straight through the membrane and she had winced with the pain but had felt thrilled to feel it. Her virginity, she had given him everything she had and she felt content as this wonderful penis was thrust forcefully in and out of her body.

It was what she had always wanted; not to be fucked but to be taken by her man and she clung to him feeling the pleasure of being used by the man she loved. She didn’t come and to be fair she wasn’t concerned about such things instead she concentrated on Jacob and was thrilled when she felt him spurt inside her; deep inside her.

After they had dried each other and put their nightwear on as it was getting just a bit chilly at that point. The other couples joined them and Esther knew by the contented looks that the other girls had been pleasured as well.

They were women now and the change in attitude in all was noticeable. They fussed openly over their men now wanting everything to be just right for him and walked with a confidence and sureness they hadn’t felt before.

There was room in the tents for all but now the segregation was over and they slept as pairs in one or other of the tents. They slept well too; it was all going so well. It was better than Esther had dared imagine and when she slept blissfully beside him later she replayed the sensation of his penis forcing deep inside her time after time and remembered the way he had held her in his arms as she had wrapped her legs round his waist and pushed her pelvis up trying to give him just a little deeper.

Had Pastor McHugh been watching he would indeed have been disappointed in the activities of his Youth Group for all twelve were now no longer virgins and given the complete lack of protection some of the girls might well be pregnant. Not, to be honest about it, that any of them cared particularly at this stage.

They all slept in their pairs in one or other of the tents and the next morning awoke to find the river was quite a bit higher up the bank and running a lot faster. It was all very exciting really and Carol asked if everyone would like to say a prayer of thanks for this sign of The Lord’s welcome. Everyone had looked to Heather and Carol had to accept her leadership of the group was over.

Heather had nodded and Carol had said her prayer, a beautiful expression of thanks while the other eleven stood still and nodded with the sentiments expressed. So good with words Carol they all agreed.

The day passed very agreeably; there had been work to do but they had all pitched in and most of the day they spent wandering and chatting. Carol had come down off her high horse and was now one of the girls. She was madly in love with Adam she had told them and they had nodded as enthusiastically as they could because it was obvious to everyone else that he wasn’t anywhere near as excited about the “match made in heaven’ as she was.

The river continued to rise and had reached the top of the bank in the late evening before dropping a few inches and after a group discussion everyone agreed it would be OK to stay in the tents where they were and in any case by the morning the level would most likely be back where it was when they arrived.

They slept well, used now to the roaring sound the river made and finding it soothing. The surge came at five fifty three the next morning and swept everything in its path. Both tents were swept away. Jacob had woken just seconds before the water hit them and held Esther in an iron grip. The water had tumbled them along like the others but he had been able to grab one of the lines used to hand their clothes on and had wrapped it round his hand then hung on with all his strength as the water swung them in against the last tree and he had let go the rope to take hold of a branch and clamber up above the flood; Esther still under his left arm.

Carol had been swept down stream and remembering her training about dealing with emergencies had done well keeping calm and taking breaths when she could. Then the current drove her down and she couldn’t get up, the water kept forcing her down and her head smashed against a submerged rock; when her body was flung to the surface the beautiful Carol Collins was dead.

Adam had had no chance; his leg had been caught by a piece of rope and as he was twisted in the water it had wound round both his legs and he had drowned in the same stretch of water he and Carol had been in when they made love- even if he wasn’t really making it to her.

Eventually the waters subsided and up on the branch Jacob looked around hoping to see someone. He did; Heather and Joanna had made it to the e high ground somehow and they waved to him and Ether. Nevertheless he shouted,

‘Hello, anyone there; anyone?”

The silence that followed chilled him.


He and Esther clambered down the tree while Heather and Joanna ran across to embrace them.

“We need to try and find them,” Heather blurted out. “There might be someone…”

Esther nodded with the others- it had been like a dream but not now and finding a determination she never suspected she had she and the others set off downstream along the river bank.

They found Adam first - it took all the wind out of their sails. The irony of his dying in that spot wasn’t lost on them; drowning in that same area they had had that wonderful. Only then there hadn’t been a raging current and then his legs hadn’t been tied up with some stupid rope. Jacob, his face set, stepped straight into the water and waded across to grab the line and pull his friend’s body to shore. Heather and Esther jumped in straight after with Heather lifting Adam’s legs up and Esther very carefully untangled the rope. Once they had freed him they carried him very gently and very lovingly up to the plain. Joanne had found a rug which she had spread out and they laid him very precisely, feet together arms by his sides and head straight. Then they stood and looked down on their friend.

He looked just like he was sleeping, so peaceful but he wasn’t; he was dead and he shouldn’t be and it was so unfair that he was. They put him at the right side with enough rug to pull over him – Heather figured there would be more and she knew if she kept thinking of it as a task she could hold it together.

Three hundred yards down stream Joanne saw Carol. Her body had caught in some submerged branches and now it lay face down with one arm draped high on another branch and the other dangling down to the water.

. Joanne had screamed and pointed then hunched over and vomited. While Esther comforted her Jacob and Heather moved resolutely to Carol’s body. Both focused totally on the work at hand they eased her body from the branches holding her then all four carried her back to lay her on the rug next to Adam.

They stood and held hands as they looked down at their two leaders. Carol’s hair was wet and bedraggled but she was quite beautiful in death. Once Heather had taken over as leader Esther had found a lot to like about the real Carol; now there was only a lot to remember about her. It was a hard reality to grasp. She watched as Joanne knelt beside Carol and brushed her hair with her hand until it was tidy for her then leant down and kissed her on the cheek. They watched in silence as Joanne’s tears fell on to Carol’s face then crouched down and thought of the ended lives on the rug. Esther and Joanne saw Heather’s resolve end with her face distorting in grief while Jacob had clenched his jaw to force himself to remain in control of his emotions.

Jacob told them he was convinced he could find more of them if he went just a bit further. Esther begged him not to go; she wanted him to stay with them, stay safe but he said he wouldn’t be long and Joanne tugged lightly on her hand.

“Let him go.”

They watched as he set off in a jog along the river bank looking in the water just in case until he went up over a knoll and vanished from sight. On the other side he sunk to his haunches in despair. On his own he held his head in his hands and wept.

It was what he was going to do all the time.

Heather and Joanne knew and had made Esther let him go. As they stood together by the blanket waiting for him to return they became aware of things moving- wolves.

They had come down from the high country in the hope of easy pickings and there was some good eating to be had here. Heather rushed at them and they backed away unnerved by her attack. They recovered and continued circling.

“Jacob! Jacob! Wolves,” Joanne screamed out in a voice that stunned Esther.

“Fuck them girls! They don’t get our friends,” Heather shouted. Esther found a tent pole with a spike in it and used it like a spear jabbing hard at the wolves when they got in reach while Joanne and Heather just found branches and swung them as clubs.

The wolves quickly herded them back to the rug but they refused to go back any further and were now prepared to die in defense of their friends’ bodies.

Jacob had heard the cry and rushed back. A nice heavy club shaped branch was caught up in more debris and he grabbed at it wrenching it from the branches that held it then sprinted back to his girls. The boy on the verge of manhood was now a man and the primal drive that modern man rarely acknowledges flowed through his body- he wanted to kill.

The wolves were just a few feet away from the girls looking for a way past the blows and jabs of the girls as he ran roaring at the biggest wolf. It turned to face him and was stunned by the two handed side swipe that connected with the side of its head. It tumbled over and got to its feet but he was ready for it and had moved round to smash a ferocious blow down on its spine followed by huge smash to its rib cage.

It was dying but he pounded on smashing his fury and his despair out on the now lifeless creature. He picked the dead wolf up by its hind legs and swung the hundred and four pound corpse round and round then flung it though the air at the others. They backed away but hunger drove them and a new leader took the old one’s place and started circling. Jacob had gone back to the girls sensing the pack wanted him otherwise engaged so they could sneak in and over power them. So he waited, just in front and moving so he was facing the wolf all the time.

It came at him, low and hard but where there had been leg now there was nothing as Jacob had moved it back and to the right as he wound up to deliver a massive blow to the creature’s skull. It dropped where it had stood and now Jacob advanced on the others; sprinting at any who loitered and turned their heads for another look.

He trotted back to the girls and put his arms round all three. They were shaking now and clung to him needing to feel his strength.

They released their hugs and stood holding hands wondering what to do next.

“Where were they?” Heather wondered as she looked yet again at the path that had brought them down to this “paradise.”

They couldn’t survive where they were and if the wolves came back at night, well…

“We stay here, we owe them that much,” Heather announced and they nodded grimly aware they might be signing their own death warrants.

‘Whatever,” thought Esther “, I won’t let you down Carol- I’ll die first.”

“Yes, someone will surely be along soon or a day or so- we can last till then.” Jacob was running on his nerves now and Esther wanted so much just to take him in her arms and comfort him; tell him it was all OK- even though it wasn’t.

As it happens help was on the way but from the opposite direction. Earlier twelve miles down stream in the town of Winslow Heck and Arnold were on watch. The preparations had been spot on and even at its peak the river had not topped the town’s defenses. It was just a watch and wait now for the level to go back down and then things could get back to normal.

Winslow was a starting off point for so many outdoor activities. Those involving the river had been suspended due to the flood waters expected two days ago but just starting to come through now. Heck was making them both a coffee to go with the muffins Clara had made for him to share with Arnold when he heard.

“Oh my fucking God!”

He turned and saw it too; some sort of trailer or truck maybe with its wheels in the air hurtling down stream with the current- then he worked it out too.

He grabbed the phone to ring Maurice Blackmore LT Col (Rtd) Director of Civil Defence Operations. He was at home but wanted to be appraised of any new developments “as and when they occurred.”

“This,” Heck thought grimly as he dialed “, would rate as a new development.”

Maurice Blackmore-“

“Colonel? Sorry sir; Heck down on the watch here sir.”

“Maurice Heck but whats-“

‘One o’them carts done floated down past-“

“Shee it, there’s another Heck and over yonder, that’s a third.” Arnold interrupted.

“Them kids that went missing Colonel sir, they had carts with big solid wood wheels, didn’t they.”

Lieutenant Colonel Maurice Benjamin Blackmore, DSC (Retired) held the phone limply and sunk to his chair.

He had gone white and suddenly to his wife who sat across from him he looked very old and very tired.

I’ll make some calls Heck, sound the siren- good and loud, huh?”

“Yes sir!” Heck shouted back and rushed out to the post to turn the handle.

The wail was heard at the Blackmore residence as well as the rest of the town as Mrs Blackmore waited for her husband to tell her.

‘The carts those kids were pulling have floated past on the river Angie. They must have camped on the flood plain.”

“Oh my Lord!”

Colonel Blackmore rang the Governor and a State of Emergency was declared from Highway Bridge to twenty miles past Winslow Township which allowed the Governor to call in the Military. The first Iroquois lifted off from the Air Force base fifty miles away twenty two minutes and thirty two seconds after the Governor called the base with the third fourth and fifth choppers lifting off close behind. They spread but found the site immediately due to the tent caught in the tree and four youngsters in those funny clothes they wore standing beside a rug or blanket of some sort. The lead chopper came in while the others resumed the unpleasant business of seeing what they could find.

As they got closer the aircrew saw the lumps in the rug and their throats went dry. They landed and the Search and Rescue man ran over to the four.

“How many were there? How many can you account for?” He stopped and thought

“What a stupid fucking question.”

“We need to get you guys out of here, let’s go huh?”

None of the four moved.

‘Not without Carol and Adam,” Jacob announced slowly and determinedly.

“Not without Carol and Adam,” the soldier repeated and he saw they were numb.

“No fucking way sir not without your friends here. We have room for all,” and gently, reverently the bodies of Carol and Adam were placed on the floor of the Iroquois. Then with the four survivors sitting round their two fallen friends the helicopter flew back to base.

The bodies of the other six were recovered over the next day and a bit and the mood of the Nation turned dark as the details of how they had come to be there emerged. Pastor McKelvie had had no idea the land was a flood plain preferring to believe the Almighty had spoken to him to send his church to be set up on this Oasis in a Desert. The four were required to testify before an Inquiry but for them all that mattered were each other.

The parents of the lost were desperate for any word on their beloved children’s last days and sat spell bound as the survivors told them what they remembered. They had discussed before what to say and all agreed Adam’s homosexuality was not to be shared with his parents nor that Carol had wanted to be fucked as much as any of them..

Why did they need to know that? Yes it was true but so what; this was for them;, Adam and Carol’s parents and they would learn what would ease their pain not what would hurt them more. And so Carol’s mother, so like Carol, slim, her hair in bangs and wearing a pale blue two piece with a navy blouse sat next to Carol’s father ,tall slim, balding at front a man who had been there and provided all his adult life trying to cope with his daddy’s girl being somewhere he visited to lay flowers on and talked to grass and a piece of marble and learnt that their daughter had kissed and made out with Adam who “adored her” and they were so “obviously made for each other” but she had insisted on remaining chaste and Adam, being Adam had respected that. Both Carol and Adam were born leaders and the parents of Adam and Carol gained a small measure of peace on their desperate path to closure.

The parents of the other six learned that they had all had sex for the first time and that all had bonded so strongly.

Heather had stopped at that point wondering what the reaction would be but they had nodded.

“I’m glad he got to experience that and in such a wonderful way with such a great girl,” Roger’s mother had said as she looked down and wrung the wet hanky over and over.

Mike’s father said what they were all wondering,

‘You had sex with my son- he came, I’m sorry I have to ask, inside you?”

Heather smiled and nodded.

“Deep inside me.”

Mike’s dad reached over and held her hand between his.

“Oh please,” he implored and they held hands as he willed that there might be a life inside her.

_______’s parents had sat quietly waiting and Joanna spoke to them.

‘I love _________ more than anything or anyone I have ever known. We made love in the river and I remember hoping when I felt his warmth in me that I would have his baby. I don’t believe anymore Mr and Mrs Groves, I’m sorry but I just don’t but I so want to have his baby, oh God I just want it so much.”

They had both slipped to the floor and knelt beside her; holding her hands and Mrs Groves placed her hand on Joanna’s belly.

“We do too sweetheart. I can’t tell you how much we want you to be carrying our son’s baby.”

Adam’s parents asked them all to stay with them and they agreed. The four were inseparable and Mr Collins had had the basement converted into a one big bedroom and lounge flat. Jacob watched over his girls; it was the only way he could cope with what had happened. They knew of course, the girls did and in any case they loved being watched over by their man. He was their man and although he and Esther married just a few days after being rescued he watched out for all three.

Sometimes though it got too much and he would go out to the shed Mr Groves had outfitted with wood working tools- as Jacob was very good with his hands- shut the door and sob. Then he would come back in and tell them the crib or whatever he was making was coming along really well as they avoided his eyes and nodded at his news.

The girls just shared their grief and cried, sometimes endlessly cuddled into each other- they had no need to pretend. They planned, they wondered and they delighted when Joanna had her first morning sickness. Heather followed and Esther soon after then all went to the doctor and he confirmed the news. The grand parents were overjoyed at their news and met to decide how best to help Jacob and the girls.

As it happened they didn’t need to: the four wanted to earn their way and though the work they did was low pay they all contributed and for all it was just the right thing to do to make a real contribution. They vaguely recognized it as a way of coping but they were doing something useful for the others and that felt pretty good.

News of the pregnancies got out and the births were national news; the tragedy of the Church of Eternal Hope Youth Group lingered in the nations psyche and funds of various sorts were set up for the soon to be born sons or daughters of the couple who survived and the partners of two of the boys who didn’t.

Joanna had a son and named him-----. All four grandparents had been in the waiting room and came in to see him once he was delivered. All agreed he was the most beautiful baby boy ever in the history of the world. And after they had praised him and Joanna for being such a wonderful girl and having such a wonderful baby and having loved their son so much and making them so proud two of the grandparents slipped out to their car and sobbed with each other as they thought of their son and how much, how desperately they missed him and wished to God he was with them and could hold his beautiful wife and his gorgeous baby and they could know he was safe. Especially that, that they could have had him safe.


(If you've got through all that and are wondering what the spaces are for; I couldn't remember the names I gave them and this was just a cut and paste to prove I really did try to set a story in the year of 69.)

 

Color me confused.

I have no idea why you abandoned this story.

You said early on that you couldn't "feel" a story in your head/heart about a hot American desert in the Nixon era.

What is it about this story that you don't "feel"? That's what this story IS -- feelings. "The Twelve, youth group members in a church that is becoming a cult, suffer untold hardships in the name of faith and learn about life and love. That's the Cliff's Notes on the story. All the rest of it is feelings, or words written to evoke feelings from the reader.

This should have been an entry, not that it's necessarily better than the one you chose for competition, but because it's an excellent concept. It wouldn't take much work at all to polish this and present it as much more than proof that you tried.

 

I have to agree with WantSomeFun that this story is a true gem. Consider coming back to it at some point if it calls to you again.

 

Really?

Aw shucks, thanks guys.

 

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