my wife and i are in the process of a divorce and we have a kid together. we have been living separately for several months now and during that time, we've hooked up at least once or twice a week. however, the past few weeks we haven't hooked up because of some fighting and also finalizing divorce papers which i'm sure has stressed us both out.

either way, she is wanting me to stay the night tomorrow night which i think would be great so i can spend some time with my little girl and also to hook up and i could drop off the final divorce papers. however, i do worry about her getting prego... she has an iud but i know they aren't 100% safe and i don't know that i trust her 100% that she wouldn't take it out. as far as rain coats go, never used them with her and i don't wanna cause any red flags to her before the divorce is final as in that state it's a crime to "cheat" and can be put in jail and fined... crazy.

i'm not all that comfortable around her due to all the hurt from our marriage problems and stuff she's said and done... but at the same time i am a sex addict (seriously) and having a very difficult time trying to talk myself into not going out there, but at the same... i can't talk myself out of it. also, it tends to bring back a lot of old feelings.

any words of wisdom?

 

Honestly? Yea get a hooker. And tell the x, that time is gone hunny, you missed it.

 

yeah, she wants her cake and eat it too.. she wants sex when she wants it... but when i want it, it's a whole different story and even then, a quite night at home sounds much better than going to be around her.

 

How very nice this must all be for your little daughter.

She must be glad you have split with her mother because she certainly does not need someone like you involved in her life.

Although you are doing your best to fuck her head up, going round there fighting and arguing one minute then the next you are sleeping with her mum.

Fuck your sex addiction. Think of your kid.

 

just for the record, our kid isn't even 9 months old yet and i have her several days a week.

 

I've been there...

Unfortunately, you are in a really difficult position...
- Having sex with someone else, as you describe, may put you in jail;
- Your kid is sooooo young! It makes me wonder, if things went so wrong and so quickly, why haven't you divorced before having a baby...
- The fact that, even if you have separated from each other, you still have sex, makes me think that there is still something left between you, apart from the kid...

This reminds me of my first wife, with the difference that there were no kids involved.

Fact is, considering that you are a responsible person, that you shall never cut all the strings - you do have a kid together...

My advice, when it comes to sex, is to let your now to be ex to make the first move - just let her be the one who suggests if, when and where...

Now, about the pregnancy risk, I believe that during your life, as a couple, you've probably experimented some oral and/or anal.
Start vaginally and finish on her or inside her, but not the vagina!
I wouldn't worry about the "red flags" as you've called them - normally, since I understand that you both want to divorce, she should also be concerned not to get pregnant with her ex!...
Your concern, about her taking away the IUD, in my opinion, is just your lack of trust in her (when getting separated and divorced, many of us tend to become a little paranoid!) - or, does she have some second thoughts about getting divorced?
It's only you who can answer this question...

In my case, immediately after the divorce was finalized, we have ceased having sex and any other connections, but... we didn't have a kid!

Many years afterwards, ten, or fifteen, I've bumped into a relative of hers, who's told me that she has married again, but that they didn't have kids...

I know some people, with and without kids, who have continued to be connected, until one of them got married to someone else.

I also know about a couple who have practically never ceased having sex, even if the man got married again - the woman has remained a single mother for the whole life - but, one or two times a week, the ex was paying a visit to his son and went to "discuss" some things with his ex in another room, taking care to lock the door and put some music...
I was a child and was a friend of the son.
The father is now dead, the mother, as I know, is still alive, and their "kid" is a grown up man, married, with teen children...

So, life can give you several alternatives - it just depends what you both decide and what life decides for you...

Good luck!

 

What do you mean when you say it is illegal to 'cheat' where you are.. Never heard of that one..

You are either splitting or you are not, which is it? Because at the moment because at the moment it seems like you are both playing a pretty stupid game in filing divorce papers one moment and fucking each other the next.

Perhaps now is the moment you work out what you actually want before it is too late. Remember there is another persons life involved in this mess you created.

If you dont want your wife to get pregnant then dont have sex with her.. Time to be a man here and take responsibility. Wailing about being a sex addict and how you cant control your self is simply pathetic.

I'm pretty sure you don't have to file the papers in person for starters and if you are living apart and feel the need to meet her, then meet publically, do what you need to do and walk away.

If you dont take a stand now you will always be in this predicament

 

I am not able to elaborate - you should receive some feedback from across the ocean...
Still, I've heard that there are some states there where cheating, before having the divorce finalized, may create enormous problems.

 

That was very well said Ovid. My first wife was cheating on me... With everyone. About 2 years after we split, she starts calling me. To talk about "nothing". After the 3rd time saying she was calling about nothing, and the 3rd time I hung up moments later, she called and asked if I wanted her to be honest about why she was calling. I said yes. The conversation follows lol.

Me- "yes A"
Her- "I want you to come fuck me"
Me- "what?"
Her- "your the best lay I know, I want you to come eat my pussy and fuck me"
Me- "hunny that time is gone, you missed it" click

OP I don't know your situation. But in any case, cheating, only wants it on her terms, etc. you can't have it both ways. Relationships don't work in reverse. Fuck buddies to marriage, ok. Marriage to fuck buddies? Yea... No.

Side note? What I learned from that experience? NEVERmarry a stripper!

 

Can i make a suggestion? - DONT FUCK HER! Jesus christ, is it really that difficult?!

 

Murphys law, remember

 

You took all the words out of my mouth haha.....all this above is called values

 

If YOU filed for divorce, then stay away

If SHE filed for divorce.... Do what she is doing to you..FUCK HER..
actually don't just fuck her..Hate fuck the shit out of her, do all of the freakiestr shit you can get away with bust a huge cumshot all over her face (no babies this way) then with a smile get dressed, say thanks and give her the final papers as you are leaving. :excited:

Yeah I'm an asshole to some of you, I fucked my ex girlfriend for 2 years after she broke up with me.... it was the best sex I had with her(and we had an awesome sex life) because after all of the hurt she caused me I did not care how she felt after we were done. I will admit it was hard at first and very confusing for me, but I got over it and accepted it as just sex and nothing else. She must have been ok with it(after all it was her idea), because she called every weekend for a booty call when she was home from college. :grin:
Then I put a stop to it once I met my now current wife of 11 years and counting and have never looked back...

 

You should do it. Get her doggy style and run her up to the headboard where she has no place to run. Pull out of her puss when you're all lubed up from her and ram it in her ass. Tear it up hard, wipe your dick on her face after you cum and leave.

It will leave you with a warm fuzzy feeling you'll never forget.

 

Time to use the head above your neck. No sex with ex. Do we need to call you pussy-whipped?

Move forward now.

 

Condom

 

There is a reason the two of you will soon be divorced, correct?

Then why would you ever entertain the thought of continuing to sleep with this woman. You are blurring the lines that a divorce will spell out, for no other reason than a piece of ass???

Go find a new woman to fuck and leave your Ex alone.

You have a child together and a working relationship with the mother is what is best for your baby. If you continue a sexual connection, nothing good can come of it. (Except maybe one or two nights of cumming). Is it worth it?

 

pull out?

how can u still fuck someone you're divorcing? make up your mind. *sigh*

If she has a brain, she won't want to get knocked up and have yet another kid by someone who is leaving her.

 

thanks for all the replies and suggestions

so i decided not to go out there tonight and i told her today that i don't think it's a good idea for us to be fooling around. she completely blew up at me, very pissed off and very cold. this is one of the many reasons we are splitting... her temper, we fight waaaaay too much. i knew she was going to get pissed off that i wasn't going out there. that's how our sex life was, it's all good and stuff when she wanted it and only if she wanted it... and she was once or twice a week type person and anytime i wanted it, she'd fuss and whine and just lay there "come on, let's go do it"

she's very selfish... she was complaining the other day about she couldn't do her hobby (sewing, etc) because our girl was wanting attention... and said she wishes that our girl would play on her own so she can do her hobby's. she's that way with her 13 year old son, he lives with his grandparents (her ex inlaws) and she might have him one, or twice a week and then she sends him back over there... and gets him when she feels like it. she collects disability pay on him, food stamps, etc and doesn't give her ex inlaws a penny of it. of course they keep their mouth shut for the sake of the relationship with their grand child.

i've got a feeling as our girl gets older, heather will want me to keep her more and more so that she can have her hobby's and stuff and wants him there for the good times like christmas, etc. it's like her son now, she tells everyone how she's a single mom of a special needs kid and how difficult it is and all that, but yet she only has him a day or two a week and collects everything on him... almost like using him to her benefit.

as for who filed divorce, it was a mutual decision, we both were unhappy... but legally, i am the defendant. anyway, i'm far from perfect myself, but she's a real work of art.