Recently I've started chatting to someone who is 29 years my junior and she and I get along really well.

Just for your information (so that perhaps you can give a slightly more pertinent response to this) she's 18 and I'm 47. She's attending university in London, she's extremely intelligent and very well educated and read - I'm at the other end of the country and feel out of my depth slightly as I'm not as intelligent as her (I don't believe) or as well read - she's, in my eyes, gorgeous, beautiful and all of those other adjectives you'd give to an object of desire. Me, I'm a slightly overweight, fairly ugly (in my opinion) fellow who's stumbled through life and while I might have scored a few victories in my time, basically, I've achieved nothing of note.

The question is, does the 29 year age gap pose a problem for us if we start a relationship - because by the look of things that's the direction we seem to be heading in.

 

There are only two people who can answer that question.

 

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http://www.aol.com/article/2014/06/...day-at-age-111/20908901/?byPassArticleCache=1

 

Err.. thanks for this, even though it's got nothing at all do with my original post...

 

I was asking for opinions, but you're correct.

 

OK......My opinion is that you are too old for an 18 year old girl. Do the right thing and let her find someone closer to her age. In my opinion, 10 years age difference is about the maximum I would want in a relationship.

Besides, woman live longer than men. So in reality, men should hook up with women who are a few years older than them....

 

After both parties are 18 then yes age is just a number as long as both parties are happy then other peoples opion doesnt really matter my aunt is marrying a guy 20 years older than her self and never been so happy

 

I've been on the other end of that stick before! One of the best relationships I ever had was with a man 30 years my senior, but it also turned in to one of the messiest. I wasn't concerned with his looks or achievements because I enjoyed his company, but I didn't realize that my attachment to him was far deeper than his was for me. He also turned out to be married. You need to be careful and, I'm hoping, not married.

You should make sure that this is what you really want, she's young and vulnerable and it's very easy to unintentionally take advantage of the situation. If it does turn into a relationship you need to be sure that you're ready for everything a woman just beginning her life is going to want.

 

That's good to hear bookworm. I hope the your aunt stays happy.

 

Thank you for your reply SlaveMars - I'm not married and never have been, so there's no problem there. As for our attachment to each other - well, it's growing daily. I understand what you're saying about her being young and vulnerable - I have no intention of taking advantage of her, that's the last thing on my mind. I care deeply for her and she says the same about me.

As far as her life journey is concerned, I have no ties where I am, and am more than willing to sell up tomorrow if that's what she wanted. I'm more than happy to go where she goes, be by her side through thick and thin and be there for her no matter what life throws at us.

 

Then I say go for it If I had let age control my relationships I would never have experienced some of my best relationships and I wouldn't be the woman I am today.

 

It could be all rainbows and lollypops for another 13-15 years. That's when the problems begin. You'll want to retire but she is too young to retire and claim benefits. So you'll retire but can't travel because she has to stay home and go to work each day. After a few more years, she'll be wiping your ass and feeding you, if she hasn't already bailed.
Now if you're still alive when she is ready to retire, she'll be a caregiver to you and unable to travel. You will be too old to do anything and likely wish you had a woman closer to your own age.

Other than that, it's a beautiful thing. Enjoy!

 

Okay - thank you for your input. Under different circumstances I'd agree with you about the maximum age difference being between 10 and 15 years - but when its you that has to make the decision as to whether or not to pursue a romantic relationship with someone you care for deeply, it's a totally different matter.

If we just remain friends and nothing romantic develops, then so be it, but I don't want to throw away a chance at having some sort of happiness in my life.

 

Those thoughts have crossed my mind Rixer. I'm so glad you mentioned this, as I do need to think about the future - and it's implications more carefully.

 

Of course it's just a number. I'm only into older women. Up and downs as any relationships and as far as retiring and moving goes how do you know the younger person doesn't have the ability to travel and work?

 

Right now the possibilities are endless. She's gearing up for University, and is still in two minds as to what her eventual career will be (she has the option to take one of several different degrees) - so the option to travel and work is very much open.

 

If you have the chance to be happy you should take that chance.

M

 

No, it is a letter followed by an ampersand and an asterisk.

 

Just make sure she isn't some kind of gold digger. If all is gravy, go for it.