The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by
a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

 

That's the funniest thing I've read in several days....

 

Lmfaoarofl

 

That is absolutely class - I now have to explain the chuckles to my co-workers !

 

Well done, did you write that? Sorry dumb question, I just googled it. Nice find though.

 

*snicker*

 

Wish I had done!

I saw it elsewhere first thing this morning, laughed myself silly and just lifted it onto here.

I've no idea who wrote it so couldn't give credits.

 

Yes...that was pretty good as punch lines go!!

 

Good Stuff, hope you don't mind if I share it with friends.

 

That's funny.

-S-

 

Im trying not to laugh loud cuz my younger sister is sleeping but damn that was good

 

Lmfao, omg that's fucking great.

 

tbh didnt find that funny since what happend in glasgow im sure you wouldnt be happy if some one was ripping the piss about the US' terror alert after 9/11 ?

 

Are you kidding?

 

nah wasnt realy that funny to begin with in my opion + coz the whole me living 10mins away from Glasgow Airport thingy

 

im probably just too tired right now maybe il laugh 2morrow night :???:

 

Try a suppository.

3000 (ish) people died in 9/11


The only people who got hurt in Glasgow were the perpetrators as one set himself on fire and the other got kicked in the nuts by a baggage handler.

 

Hope so, if we can't laugh at this shit the terrorists win.

 

yeh lol but you know im sure if just round the corner some arseholes tryed to blow the self up and kill hundereds.....................