I don't think this is my first post, posted a few times before I think. In any case, having some sort of embaressing issues ^^(). My girlfriend and I have tried intercourse on two seperate occasions already and the first time, I was just too nervous and couldn't stay hard. Besides that, we went into it to quickly that day, hardly any foreplay, and that was part of it. This time however, plenty of foreplay, no troubles starting off, but half way through, well... don't stay hard very long.

First time we used some generic glow in the dark condoms for the novelty of it and I couldn't feel a damn thing. Asked a friend, she suggested Lifestyles Ultra-thins. This time we used Trojan Ultra-thins (Couldn't find any Lifestyles ones) and I could feel more but I'm still hardly feeling anything. Almost got walked in on several times so we had to stop the fore play at least twice, maybe that just made it all the more difficult in the end.

In any case, I'm already over having "performance anxiety" about it... but why can I hardly feel anything? Are condoms really that ridiclously desensitizing? Either way, any suggestions? Ultra-thins didn't really help much, all though a friend of mine said she hated Trojans with a passion and suggested Lifestyles Ultra-thins instead.

 

I don't have a penis, so I can't really talk to you about the condoms thing. I know that the ultra thins are the only ones I've ever used, and I only used Trojans... with no complaints.

For the staying hard issue, I think you already understand that foreplay is necessary for you; you might want to consider a cock ring. Don't be embarrased about it, if you are. Sooo many people use them, and they're simple and effective. Once you're up, you're up, and not going anywhere until you choose to.

Hope this helps

 

its not your fault or the condums, its your womens... make sure she knows that.

 

Well, it's not really her fault, I just honestly can't feel anything, even my own hand or hers, through the condom when putting it on... I presume I'm just as physically sensitive as any other guy but I could be wrong...

Anyone suggest using ribbed condoms or something like that? Any previous experience with them being any better for the guy?

In response to spirit.lotus: Yeah, don't think it'll be necessary though, at this point it's the lack of sensitivity :/

Edit: Oh and thanks for any help.

 

if you masterbate without lube you could reduce sensitivity.. or so I've been told... start lubing up... and there may be a different over time

Xgamer

 

Damn, could be right, never thought of that... wonder if that's confirmed or not, thanks.

 

I have the same issue, just not to that extent. When wearing a condom, I can still feel, but not enough to ever climax. It's defenitly something with the condoms, but I"ve tried several different brands with several different women, and no issues without a condom. I just think some people are less sensitive than others, and when you put another desensitizer ontop of it, you're not getting much out of it.

 

what??? how is it his womans fault that he can't sustain an erection? I'm confused.
My advice.. if you tell your "woman" that its her fault, you will make her feel awful and possibly lose your "woman". Sheesh... it could be any number of things that can cause that to happen. General performance anxiety for one. Maybe try a thinner condom or like others said, a cock ring. If you still have trouble talk to your dr. it could be something medical if you haven't had a check up in a while. There are several medical reasons that can cause erectile disfunction ( that have nothing to do with your "woman" and are definately NOT her fault)

 

I would suggest dropping the condom, never used them, don't like them, and use a spermacide if there is no fear of stds. I expect that the lack of experience is your greatest enemy though and the fact that privacy may be an issue. You may be focusing on the act more than the emotional connection, therefor losing an errection when your focus slips. If you focus on the act then mentally the act is complete when you enter her, if you focus on the climax and it doesn't come quickly enough you lose interest (mentally). The fact that you say you don't feel anything you are indicating your focus is not on the total event.

Relax, enjoy her company and, when the time is right and your focus is right everything will come off just fine (condom or no condom). That is the opinion of this old man.