Has anyone had any experience with being in a committed poly couple?
My wife and have done a lot of less then conventional things in our marriage including, but not limited to swappin, threesomes, and even some solo play but only while we are both present. Now my wife wants to try living out something she has always wanted, to be a true poly couple and each have a gf/bf on the side.

Anyone done this or currently doing it? I am optimistic and think it will all be fine, we love one another very much and have set a few boundaries, but I wont lie when I say it still makes me a little nervous. I have no trouble getting women, but my wife is gorgeous and can easily get any man she wants.

 

The way you phrase it makes it sound like she wants something on the side rather than a true Poly relationship.

It is not about getting woman or men or being gorgeous ( no offense) and if you say you are nervous then chances are it aint going to work for you, Poly relationships arent just about sex and if you cant see yourself at that level then stick to swinging or swapping.

This is about both of you and you both need to be on the same page if it is going to be a success.

Having a GF or BF on the side isn't what it is all about.

 

I see what you mean, and perhaps I have the wrong wording. Perhaps it isn't true Poly but more of an "open" relationship. She wants us both to have a person, 0r even a few people that we sleep with outside of the marriage. It would be a no emotions type of deal where we would all be friends and if I occasionally wanted to go out, 0r if she wanted to, we would have that understanding already. Does that make a little more sense?

 

It's all about trust. If you can handle it, she can handle it, and your 'sides'respect your boundaries, why not.

 

Polyamory can lead to alimony.

 

To the OP yeah what you said last does make sense just be sure you are actually really OK with it and that she is too.

Set bounderies and be safe ( safe sex)

Last but not least do not forget each other in all this. Having fun on the side or letting her have fun on the side might seem great but you still need to work on your relationship and your sex life otherwise you run the risk that emotions will enter into it at which point the outlook could be very grim indeed

 

Sounds like alot of work to me.

 

In my 40yrs I've never met a woman who would enjoy a man having multiple partners. Yea it sounds good and all and it may be great for awhile but i guarantee someone along the way will end up with their feelings hurt. You see feelings is something we all have. Sure we can deny them but believe me everything comes out in the wash.

 

Aint that the truth...its hard enough trying to keep one woman happy goddamn let alone multiple woman. I'd Rather shoot myself in the fucking face...

 

True words

 

I appreciate all of the feedback. Right now this is something that my wife is more interested in pursuing than I am, I like to do the occasional swap and threeways (MFM or MFF) but this is past what I would say, is in my comfort zone. We are getting our feet wet with another couple that is new to this all as well, but as of now I feel like a fourth wheel. I am asking her to be very patient with me as we enter this, I don't want to form my stance unless I have truly given it a shot.

 

From the way you make it sound, she still wants your opinion/approval over whom she chooses by saying she wants you all to be friends. That tells me that she still repects your opinion and the boundaries you've both set. If it still bothers you, than you just need to tell her. Just be sure to hold yourself to the same standards and not do what you deny her from doing.

 

I want to believe that she wants to respect my opinion and I know it cant have been easy for her to ask this of me. I definitely agree that both of us need to stay within the boundaries. The hardest part for me is feeling as though I am sharing her with another man. I do not want her time with me to ever feel divided or for her to desire another person more than me.

I am the classic over thinker. I need to learn better composure and to control thoughts that even I know are ridiculous.

 

The best thing, as always, is to talk it through. Lack of thorough communication is the downfall of many a relationship.

 

Oh dear father of mine, every time I see or hear that word, I get so disgusted. You can't go mixing greek and latin words like that. Have some respect for the linguistics...