Everybody's input is welcome, WOMEN preferably

Hey y'all,

I really need honest and "constructive" advice. I've been in a relationship for about 5 years and everything has been great between us, we've had some fight now and then, nothing major... You know couple fights. Since we were aiming for getting married we didn't mind involving our families. So her family is really into me and mine into her, and it's really deep; grand parents, uncles and aunties, cousins and nephews... Basically all type of relative you can think of are really hoping that we'll officially end up together. We've been in a long distance relationship for about 3 years now, and I don't know if it's the distance, but I don't feel the same way about her anymore and I can feel (well I guess) that she feels the same even if she's trying so hard to hide it. I am trying my best to revitalize my love for her, but nothing is working. Meanwhile I met someone (she's has nothing to do with my feelings fading away) and we had a thing going on for about 3 months, we really love each other, but decided to stop because we didn't have a future due to my situation (she knew since the begining that I had someone). It's been almost a year since we stopped seeing each other, but our feelings still strong.

My gf gave me everything and I really mean everything, and she really is a wife material. I never feel insecure whenever she goes out or tells me she's hanging out with some guy friends, I really trust her. But I don't feel anything for her anymore and if we end up getting married I am scared I might just make her suffer. On the other hand, breaking up with her invole breaking up with the families, plus it won't be fair to her because she didn't do anything wrong.

The other girl, she's also a wife material, when she put her mind to it she can be really be the perfect wife, but during the 3 months we were together she used sometimes do things lthat made me as a bf uncomfortable. I always felt insecure whenever she went out. She didn't do anything wrong (she really watch herself) but she's just surrounded by a lot of dudes and I don't really like the way she relate to them. We had a talk about it, and she told me she doesn't do all those things when she's in a legit relationship (I don't know if it was a way to pressure me). Although we didn't have a future I could se her go out of her ways and to try to change/stop doing some of those things that used to bother me.

The question is who do I choose? My wife material gf whom I don't feel anything anymore or the half wife material girl I have feelings for but who sometimes make me feel really insecure.

WOMEN!: Why I prefered your input. Please try to relate to both.

1. The gf, Would you rather get married to someone who doesn't love you or "get dumped" for no reason after you've given them everything?

2. The other girl, would you be conformable with me (for life probably if we end up getting married) knowing that I dumped someone for you? Will you pressure yourself by trying hard to make me happy so I don't regret choosing you?

Please keep your judgments to yourself as they won't help. I have already punished myself, and the situation itself is a continuous punishment until I figure Something out.

 

If the first girl is trying hard to keep you then keep her, and marry her, being toghether in a marriage may make you even close, it can revive the love, love alone is not everything in a couple

 

First, marrying someone(or any other kind of commitment) with someone because they "deserve it" never works.

Second, when you are in a relationship, it's impossible to judge what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone else.

The smart move, which you are not going to do, is not the easy one. Make an honest break with the current girlfriend. If you think it's not working, it's not working. Give yourself some time, at least a couple months before making any kind of commitment to girlfriend #2. When you are actually free and clear to make a choice between Gf2 and no one, then you'll be able to see things clearly.

 

Communication is the key. Tell your current gf how you feel and what has transpired with the side girl. If she accepts that you need more, great move on. If she dosent, try exploring what you like and love about each other and give it the old college try. If its not ment to be...its not ment to be. Do what makes you happy! She will do the same...

 

I can cut right to the chase. Don't marry either one of them because you are clearly not ready. Moving forward with this will result in nothing but heartbreak.

 

Neither.

 

If I was either of these women and I knew the situation I'd dump you.
I'm not waiting around for someone to "settle" for me as second choice.
If you've been engaged for as long as you say you were and you haven't committed, you're not ready to get married.
Marry someone you're not in love with or marry someone you don't trust.
I'd say, stay single until you're mature enough to marry someone you trust and can spend the rest of your life with.

 

Run from both, stay single

 

Start listening to Tom Leykis. Oh, and don't get married ever. The courts will fuck you over good when the divorce comes.

 

Find a way to get them both together, say a nice dinner out with both of them Then tell them both how you feel. Whichever one doesn't tell you to go piss up a rope and storm out of the restaurant is the one. If they both dump your ass - the most likely ending - just go home and pound your pud 'til you grow up.