I'm a huge Nirvana fan, and even I thought thats was funny.

 

I'm sure a lot of you have heard this one. It's from one of my fave movies (Boondock Saints):

A white guy, a black guy, and a hispanic guy are walking along a beach when they stumble upon a magic lamp. A genie pops out and say he'll grant one wish for each of them. The black guy wishes that all of his african brothers and sisters could be happy and free back in Africa. Poof, they're all back in Africa. The hispanic guy thinks for a second and asks for all of his latino brothers and sisters to happily return to whichever countries they came from. Poof, they're all back in the land of their forefathers.

Then the genie turns to the white guy. "So, what do you want?"
The white guy thinks for a minute. "You mean to tell me that ALL the n*ggers and sp*cs are out of America?"
"Yep," says the genie.
The white guy thinks for another second and says "Then, I'll have a coke."





(I'm sorry. That wasn't funny. I'm havin' a bad day.)

 

haha I fuckin love that movie


Brothers Question: Which one came out first?

Their Mom's Answer: The one with the bigger cock!

Other Brother: Shutup I've had ice on it all day


oh and I think TS was trying to tell this joke

What do you call a bunch of white people rolling down a hill?

An avalanche

Black people?

A mudslide

Mexicans?

Immigration

 

I've only heard the black one.

Two women are out at a diner and one says to the other , "My daughter lives in a posh apartment, and goes out every night wearing pearls, and diamonds, and fur coats." The oher woman turns around and says, 'Yeah...my daughters a slut too."

 

Great movie! I can't believe they deleted THAT scene. One of the best in the flick! And that's saying a LOT

Seeing as I'm a black female I shouldn't like either of these jokes but my other fave from Boondock is:

Connor: The rule of thumb here is...
Rosengurtie Baumgartener (an avid feminist): Wait, rule of thumb? In the early 1900s it was legal for men to beat their wives, as long as they used a stick no wider than their thumb.
Connor: Well, can't do much damage with that then, can we? Perhaps it should have been a rule of wrist?
----------------------------
And have you ever noticed that after the cat dies there's a polaroid of him in the middle of the pink spot on the wall? I must have watched the movie 30 times before I noticed that!

 

ok i have to say this before i tell the jokes. I have complete respect for women. I would never disrespect or abuse a woman. I love women and would never inflict emotional or physical harm to them.
Having said that,

Q: Why shouldn't woman be allowed to drive?
A: There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.

Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing, she's been told twice.

I am sooooo sorry for saying these...

 

A blonde decided to go horseback riding. Everything was fine until the horse started to bounce out of control. She tried her best to hang on, but was thrown off. Thinking things couldn't possibly get worse, her foot caught in the stirrup and she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce harder and harder as the horse didn't stop or slow down. Just as she was losing consciousness the Walmart Manager came out and unplugged it.
-------------
What's the only thing keeping the hot blonde man from having sex?
He never learned how to use a zipper.

 

Bush's resume

Not exactly bad taste (unless you're a republican).

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

• I ran for congress and lost.
• I bought an oil company (Harken), but couldn't find any oil in Texas; the company went bankrupt shortly AFTER I sold all my stock.
• I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago Cubs
• With my father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

• I eased pollution laws and made Texas the most polluted state in the US.
• On my watch Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog ridden city in America.
• I set a record for most executions by any Governor in American history.
• I became President, after losing the popular vote by over half a million votes, with the help of my father's Supreme Court appointees.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

• I attacked and took over two countries, both of which have virtually no restored infrastructure and are in chaos.
• I spent the budget surplus.
• I set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.
• I set the record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
• I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
• I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
• In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any US president.
• After taking the entire month of August, 2001 off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history in September.
• I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other US president. And I still have 17 months to go!
• I take a strong stand against affirmative action even though I got into Yale only through my family connections, not on the merit of my academic record.
• During my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.
• I set the record for the fewest number of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
• I very recently cut healthcare benefits for war veterans. As a matter of fact, I did this after we attacked Iraq. But I still like to tell everyone else to "Support Our Troops."
• I set the all-time record for most people worldwide (15 million people) to simultaneously take to the streets in protest of me and my obsession with attacking Iraq.
• I have retreated from or dismissed more international treaties than any president in US history.
• My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US history.
• Members of my cabinet are the wealthiest of any administration in US history. (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her).
• I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
• On my watch, and for the first time in US history, the United Nations removed the US from its Human Rights Commission.
• On my watch, and for the first time in US history, the United Nations removed the US from its elections monitoring board.
• I have attempted to render the United Nations irrelevant.
• I withdrew the US from the World Court of Law.
• I have refused to allow international inspectors access to US prisoners of war and, therefore no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
• One of my biggest lifetime campaign contributors, who is also a very good friend, presided over one of the largest ever corporate fraud scandals (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
• During a time of economic hardship for the lower and middle class, and during a time of huge war spending to finance the attack of Iraq, I signed into to law a multi-billion dollar tax cut which primarily benefits only the wealthiest Americans like me, my appointees, and my campaign contributors.
• Therefore I have shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in history.
• I am the first president to run and hide during an attack on our country (and then lied by saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1).
• I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.
• In approximately 18 months I have turned an astounding amount of world sympathy for the US (after 9/11) into an astounding amount of resentment and hatred.
• With a policy of 'disengagement', I have created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
• As a result of my foreign relations savvy, 71% of recently polled Europeans view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
• As a result of my foreign relations savvy, recently polled South Koreans feel more threatened by the US than by their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
• I set the record for the number of administration appointees who violated US law by not divesting from corporations bidding for government contracts.
• I have failed to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, even though their alleged existence was my sole basis for the "urgent" need to attack that country before UN arms inspectors could complete their work.
• In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security/intelligence failure in the history of the United States.
• I appointed a former lumber industry lobbyist to a post in the Environmental Protection Agency.
• I appointed a former auto industry executive to a post on my Energy Commission.
• I called hundreds of thousands of anti-war protesters "nothing but a focus group."
• My Attorney General John Ashcroft (whom I appointed to this very important national position after he lost a Missouri senatorial race to a deceased man) has removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other Attorney General in US history. And he's not finished yet!
• When I entered office we had the strongest economy in US history and now, less than two years later, every single economic category is heading straight down.

 

Congratulations Snoochies, you win the prize for the sickest joke on
the thread!...

 

Which joke?

Well, thank you, thank you! I owe it all to my computer for saving all those random joke emails. And I'll have to thank my manager. *tearing up* Mom, we did it! And thank you to all my fans *sniffle*

 

You forgot hindering the standard of living and health of his country by striking down stem cell research.

I don’t think the executions are such a bad thing, but all and all I’m with you he’s an ass.

 

It's an old email joke. It was written back when he was only 2 years into his first term (If I'm not mistaken).

 

The Bush CV naturally.......2 years in?.....time for an update!!....

 

I assumed that was the one. But then I remembered what assuming does.

 

haha yea I know, I love in the beginning when the two bros fight the woman though, and the dude gets hit in the balls

that movie is so politically incorrect but still so funny, I love the whole phone call scene with the mom

 

A priest in a small Irish village loved his chickens that he kept them in the coop behind the church.
One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that a cock was missing. He knew about the cock fights in the village, so he decided to question his parishioners in the church.
During mass, he asked his congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"
All the men stood up.
"No, no, that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"
All the women stood up.
"No, no, that wasn't what I meant either. Has anybody seen a cock that Doesn't belong to them?"
Half the women stood up!
"No, no, no. That wasn't what I meant. What I really mean is, has anybody seen MY cock?"
Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up. lol

 

What's the difference between an ass, and a pussy?

Shit, babies, and diameter.

 

What's the difference between a porche and a porcupine?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

 

Not very sick but i think its quite funny

Two cows in a field one says to the other

"Are you concerned about the BSE problem??"

The other says

"Meh only a bit - doesnt really matter to me - I'm a helicopter"

 

I heard a bad taste joke around the time we had a serial killer killing those young prostitutes and abandoning them in the woods or roadside just around xmas in the UK.

Have you heard the one about the dyslexic santa who is leaving prozzies under trees?

(It may take a while for some of you to get this one.)

I find this one a bit offensive and apologise for posting...but the thread is about bad taste jokes...