Grandpa Elvis and Gram​

I am Sam.
Sam I am.

That Sam-I-am.
That Sam-I-am!
I did not kill
Grandpa Elvis and Gram

Did you shoot
Grandpa Elvis and Gram?

I did not shoot them,
Sam-I-am.
Though I did not like
Grandpa Elvis and Gram.

Would you shoot them
here or there?

I would not shoot them
here or there.
I would not shoot them
anywhere.
I did not kill
Grandpa Elvis and Gram.
I did not kill them,
Sam-I-am.

Would you shoot them
in a house?
Would you kill them
with your spouse?

I did not shoot them
in a house.
I did not kill them
with a spouse.
I did not shoot them
here or there.
I did not kill them
anywhere.
I did not kill Grandpa Elvis and Gram.
I did not kill them, Sam-I-am.

Would you beat them
with some cocks?
Would you beat them
for some stocks?

Not with some cocks.
Not for some stocks.
Not in a house.
Not with a spouse.
I would not beat them here or there.
I would not beat them anywhere.
I would not beat Grandpa Elvis and Gram.
I did not kill them, Sam-I-am.

Would you? Could you?
For a czar?
Kill them! Chill them!
Here or far?

I would not,
could not,
for a czar.

You may have killed them.
We will see.
You may kill them
Perhaps with Glee?

I would not with a guy named Glee.
Not for a czar! You let me be.
I did not beat them with some cocks.
I did not hit them for some stocks.
I did not kill them in a house.
I did not kill them with a spouse.
I did not kill them here or there.
I did not kill them anywhere.
I did not kill Grandpa Elvis and Gram.
I did not kill them, Sam-I-am.

In vain! With Jayne!
Slain! On a train!
Could you, would you
On a train?

Not on a train! And not with Glee!
Not for a czar! Sam! Let me be!
I would not, could not, with some cocks.
I could not, would not, for some stocks.
I did not beat them with a spouse.
I did not eat them in a house.
I did not beat them here or there.
I would not eat them anywhere.
I did not kill them, Sam-I-am.

Say!
On an ark?
With a short guy named Quark!
Would you, could you, on the ark?

I would not, could not,
on an ark.

Would you, could you,
While reading Twain?

I would not, could not, while reading Twain.
Not in an ark. And not with Jayne.
Not for a czar, not while I pee.
I did not kill them, Sam, you see.
Not in a house. Not with some cocks.
Not with a spouse. Not for some stocks.
I did not kill them here or there.
I did not kill them anywhere!

You did not kill
Grandpa Elvis and Gram?

I did not
kill them,
Sam-I-am.

Could you, would you,
with some gloat?

I would not,
could not.
With any gloat!

Would you, could you,
In a moat?

I could not, would not, in a moat.
I would not, could not, with some gloat.
I would not beat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a train.
Not in the ark! Not with some pee!
Not for a czar! You let me be!
I did not beat them with some cocks.
I did not kill them for some stocks.
I will not eat them in a house.
I did not kill them with a spouse.
I did not kill them here or there.
I did not kill them anywhere!

I did not kill
Grandpa Elvis and Gram!

I did not kill them,
Sam-I-am.

You did not kill them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
Did you slay?
Convicted then you may need a stay.

Sam!
If you will let me be,
I will confess.
You will see.

Say!
I killed Grandpa Elvis and Gram!
I did! I killed them, Sam-I-am!
And I did eat them in a boat!
And I did beat them with a goat.
And I did eat them in the rain.
And in the ark. And on a train.
And for a czar. And while I peed.
They are so good, so good you see!

So I did beat them with some cocks.
And I did kill them for some stocks.
And I did tweet them in a house.
And I did eat them with my spouse.
And I did kill them here and there.
Say! I did kill them anywhere!

I did so kill
Grandpa Elvis and Gram!
Thank you!
thank you,
Sam-I-am!

*with credit to Dr. Seuss!

 

That was weird.

It didn't work for me, basically I'm thinking who? what? Who are Grandpa Elvis and Gram, and why do we care? For that matter, who is Sam?

 

I, too was confused or possibly bemused by this. It's certainly clever writing, a nonsense poem; it shows a great skill on the part of the author. Unusual for sure, but one of the things I delight in during the CAWs is the wide variety of entries. Good stuff!

 

Very nicely done, it must be a tribute to Seuss...I like it
Thanks for the story. Good luck

 

A delightful play on the Seussian Green Eggs and Ham! There's Sam, someone on the lam, no mention of ham, but a crime committed, perhaps a scam?

Good writing, good sense of humor, no obvious grammar issues. I don't think it will garner many votes but it certainly put a smile on my face!

 

I thought this was great. Dr. Suess interrogates and gets a confession. Very creative!

 

It was very cute, but going from green eggs to killing was a little difficult for me! Creative to say the least. Thank you for sharing!

 

Thanks for sharing. It brought a smile to my face.

 

Some one really went to town with this. Well done and thank you for the effort.

 

Dr Seuss - this was well done, cleverly written, and showed quite a bit of imagination. I'm not generally a big fan of take-offs on others work, but there are times when it works out well. I don't know if this will get many votes, but I think it was a very good effort.

 

If creativity and the use of a clever idea are criteria for scoring votes, this one should do well. Of course it's a stretch from green eggs to crime, but that's the beauty of it. Well done.

 

This was so cute! Not literary genius but fun, creative, and an overall good time.

 

I'm still confused and bemused by this. It was a fun read, well thought-out and executed (pun intended). I even got a name-check!

We as readers are blessed by the wide variety of entries for the CAWs - although participation is down at the moment (not just for the compys but the forum in general) the whole thing remains a delight. Long may it continue.

 

Whoever wrote this one is clever indeed. Read it, people, and consider it for a vote.

 

Hahaha! Very clever. I really liked it. Very "original " definitely out of the box and not anything like I was expecting here but an excellent job nevertheless.

Ok I did think some of the words (one maybe) were a tad out of keeping with the poem like, beating with a cock, though I could see why you used that. That was the only tiny (or maybe it wasn't so tiny ) sticking point though it wasn't that much of a a ticking point.

That said I think it was a giggle. Well it made me smile the whole time reading and i actually did LOL ! .

I don't think you need any pointers, it must be a very hard, time consuming thing to do.

The writing was smooth and polished so carry on, and bring more. I think it, whatever it will be, will definitely be worth reading.

Good luck in the comp and we'll done ! Luvs xx