My wife and I have been together over twenty years, married for thirteen of them. When I was getting ready to propose, I admit I had a conversation with myself. I knew that, in this marriage, I was never going to have the kind of sex life I wanted; so which did I want more, a sex life closer to my fantasies, or her? I chose her.

I’ve never regretted it, but as time passes I think more and more about the things I won’t ever get to experience.

I crave cock; yearn for it; and the more of it the better. I want to suck it; I want to be fucked, preferably by several men at once. They can do anything they want to me - hard, rough, practically split me open; two or more of them in my cock hungry arse at once; choke me, hit me, kick me, as long as they give me their cum, they can do anything they fucking well want! And I’ll beg for more. I am as certain of it as I can be.

I will never get that, not even close. Even the closest compromise I could think of, her pegging me, repulses her.

Other than our sex life we have a great marriage, and I have always said I would never cheat. But damn, if the opportunity to suck cock presented itself while I was travelling with work or something, it would take every fibre of my being to turn it down. When I travel, I pack two dildos in my suitcase. I mount them in the shower at the hotel and spit-roast myself - the orgasms are earth-shattering; nothing compares to them. No, she doesn’t know I have those toys - I keep them in a bag in the spare wheel compartment of the car FFS!

I can’t be the only one in this situation. Does anyone out there have any better coping strategies than watching porn and wanking yourself senseless?

 

You can tell her and see where it goes, you can sneak behind her back and deal with the guilt and worry or you can watch porn. I don’t have your answer . If I did I would not be watching porn all the time

 

Yeah, options 1 and 2 are definitely out! Pretty much resigned to a lifetime of porn, wanking, and occasionally getting to lick my cum off the shower screen with my ass impaled on a nine-inch rubber cock once work travel gets back to normal

 

Have a talk with her, and see how she would feel about allowing you to be with other males, since a cock is one thing she can't give you. You never know unless you ask her.
Personally, I would be ok with my guy going outside the marriage for cock, since that's not something I have to give.

 

Mmm, sounds fun! Any chance you have a friend who’d like to watch while I suck you off? I’ll let him use my mouth once you move to my arse!

 

That’s a lovely idea but, honestly, the way she looked at me when I lightly broached the possibility of us using a strap on nearly broke me inside. We may, at a push, be able to survive me telling her I fantasise about it; I don’t think our marriage could survive me asking if I could actually do something about it.

Your guy is incredibly lucky!

 

So is the issue that you are Bi Sexual or is the issue that you want a more exciting sex life with your wife.?

If we totally write off her pegging you or buying into your bi sexual side, what is it you would actually want to feel satisfied at least at some degree.

Not every woman is going to be able to deal with the idea of her partner being Bi Sexual and I would think the majority would not be able to see themselves fucking their man with a strap on for a whole host of reasons which I dont have the space to write about here,

So here you are, married and not wanting to cheat but feeling lonely and to a greater or lesser extent sexually unsatisfied. So I am being serious here when I toss this one back at ya. What do you want that is realstic and workable? Yeah its the compromise....

Could you feel happier working on your sex life with your wife and enjoying the fantasy of sex with a guy in secret ? how far are you willing to go to reach a happy or somewhat happy medium

There isnt a magic want to this but there are ways in which you might end up a whole lot happier but it is up to you to work on what those might be .

If she is unwilling to work with you and build your sexual relationship you have another choice and perhaps at that point it might be time to make it.

 

Well I think a majority of marriages are like this. They start off good then peeter out over time. Both parties are happy with the relationship outside the bedroom but find it hard to expand it past the standard bedroom hoopla. One party isn't on the same page as the other. Like me, I thought the times we were having before marriage then during the early years there was a chance of variety being added, but I fell into the later part of fantasy and porn.
I had a friend who divorced over lack of sex and still couldn't find the right person but his ex did a 180 and she is a sexual animal from my friends knowledge. She is into all kind of stuff. I feel if the other party would really just open up and listen, not judge the other person there could be a great opportunity for both. If after a period of time both think it's not working as planned then go back to what you know. But unfortunate one or the other will never be on the same page

 

I understand this. When I got together with my kid’s dad I knew we weren’t a great match sexually but he had a lot of other amazing things to offer. But the longer we were together, the more resentful I became because I was chronically unsatisfied. I actually hit him once during sex because he was just so bad at it lol. But I digress.

The sneaking that you have to do is going to wear you down. It’s exhausting having to hide who you really are. I think you should talk to her and be brutally honest. She may surprise you. But if you do nothing, can you see yourself living this way for the next 50 years?

 

I had a previous partner who was bisexual. I didn't mind that, but I didn't want to peg him.
Is it the bisexuality your wife doesn't like, or is it you wanting her to take part in it?

I made the mistake of agreeing to monogamy with my ex, then ended up tying myself in knots over whether I would ever be enough or whether at some point he would need another man.
Had we kept things open it would've made things much easier. I liked the idea of seeing him with another guy, I just didn't like the idea of being a stand-in for that guy, if that makes any sense at all.

I do think more communication is the way to go, to find out what is at the heart of her distaste. It may be that you're right and he doesn't want you to do anything even on your own, but right now it's possible you have options you've dismissed.

 

It appears you travel some. I would travel and go to gay bathhouses. Out of town and private. Maybe cheating in your mind but I looked at it as only sex and did not emotionally cheat. Satisfied an itch. Also went to ABS with gloryholes. They are anonymous and just sex.

 

I feel sorry for her. A woman trusts a man to be a man and thought that's what she had. All this time just to find out she really had an undercover man-fan the whole time. I don't know why you mfs get with women and deceive them for years about what y'all really are. No woman should have to go through that, no woman should ever feel like being a woman isn't enough for her man. She deserved to know what she was saying "I do" to.

 

well when your out of town put an add in doublelist and find some guys there,or on grinder.com i bet there's some guys that will fuck u.

 

I too have these feelings. But that's because I'm more lesbian than just Bi. So I'm not truly happy unless I have a female in my life as well. But this is in no way a condemnation of my hubby on my part, and he understands and accepts this. Yet I can't help but feel it would've been best if I had not settled down with a man and instead live a lesbian lifestyle.

But then I wouldn't have the family life I have now. So it is what it is I guess.