This is a question I have always been interested in, and it comes down to nature or nurture.

Are subs/slave and Dom's born that way or is it learnt.

I personally think that submission and domination is another form of sexuality much like being gay, straight, bi, trans or gender fluid.

My last slave even said that when she told her family that she was an owned slave it was like coming out as gay.

Would love to hear other people's opinions

 

It was her choice. She wanted to be honest about her life with her family

 

I think I’ve always been what my partners need me to be, rather than being locked into a role for myself. When I was younger, I usually had sex with people who needed to feel in control, so I was sub to them. With age I started to attract attention of those who needed a dom, so I was that for them. Only a few times I’ve had a partner where sex didn’t include some power play. I’m perfectly happy with any way, so I adapt to the needs and wants of my partner.

 

It could probably be either, but I'm guessing it's a learned behavior.
Growing up with domineering parents.
Growing up with a lowered sense of self-worth.
Feeling you need to be punished for past behavior.
Needing an excuse for your current behavior (I didn't do it. I was forced to do it)
I guess I'm a part-time sub. Sometimes I just want to turn over control to someone else.
My job can be very stressful at times. I carry a lot of company weight on my shoulders and have to make some unpopular or unpleasant decisions.
Those are the days when I'm more open to just being someone's marionette. I want the stress relief of good sex, I just don't want to have to make any decisions.
I know it sounds like a contradiction but being blindfolded and tied up can be very liberating.

I probably wouldn't go so far as to suggest being a sub is genetic. If you grow up watching mom being subservient to dad, you probably were too. (not necessarily sexually). Then you grow up, and find someone just like him. It like women in physically abusive relationships. Look back on their lives and most of them have a long history of abuse. (Daddy loves Mommy, Daddy beats Mommy, therefore, men who love women beat them.)

 

This part is almost straight out of my conversations with my now wife, back when we were dating and were defining our relationship . Her whole life she’s been in positions of high expectations and then authority. So she needs the liberation of being held down, being told what to do and not have to carry the weight of decisions.

 

I’ve just recently discovered how much I love being submissive to a woman! I guess I’ve always secretly known this, to not be in control and serve and not have any control! Due to my professional career of being constantly in charge I’ve learned about myself that I don’t want that in a relationship and to be a submissive in a FLR.

 

I guess I was born a dom.my dad told me to get what I want in life,so when it came to sex I got the pussy and ass from girls. And later from guys. I was a top. I was never. A total dom,I just got what I wanted,

 

For the longest time, I didn’t think of it as Sub/Dom, I just thought of myself as either being “self centered” (only caring about how I felt, or more dominant) or caring more about others than myself (being more submissive). I’m situational, where I can be wither Dom or Sub, but in general, I tend to lean more towards being submissive. I want to make sure I please my partner more than pleasing myself, but when the circumstances are right, I will take control and be more aggressive to get what I want.

 

For me dominant behaviour was always there, it was brought to the surface by a very submissive gf. I haven't looked back since.

 

Since there are times when I've been either dom or sub, I'd have to say it isn't something I was born into. I think I gravitate to the role as I feel it depending upon the sexual experience I happen to be into at that time.

 

I realize now that I was born a Dom. I did not know about Doms and subs until several years ago. I wrote about this more in another thread. Briefly, I accepted what women were willing to put out for me when I first started having sex. My nature was to have the sex I wanted. As I asked for more of what I wanted, my sex partners changed to more submissive types. The Dom in me developed and came forth.

 

I think it's more related to an experience you had rather than a personality trait.
I only realized that dominating was my biggest turn on after trying it.

 

I never thought of myself as a dom until a strong willed woman tried to make me bend to her will. never sat right with me so i flipped the script and after tying her up and teasing her for an unreasonably long time i finally fucked her. she was the one who told me i was a dom. so i think its just a personal thing if you're a dom or a sub but im sure if you met the right person you can switch.

 

I've always known that I switch depending on the situation.
Some would say that makes me submissive because I let the situation change me.
I don't think so.
I decide based on MY observations.
I challenge the situation to my preference at that moment.

Just so.

 

I’ve always known I was submissive but I feel like it was more my environment and trauma that cemented it

 

U r the best xx

 

I love your trauma. It’s the key to owning you baby xoxo