My quick history. Divorce from a completely miserable sexless marriage. Not just the lack of sex, but there was tons of bullshit that I tolerated from the years spent with this narcissistic woman.

Im on the smaller side to begin with so the lack of intimacy is really not helping me out with any self esteem issues.

I believe that the lack of intimacy and the not really wanting to cheat lead to more porn viewing. That leads to exposure to much more variety of kinks! That leads to becoming more accepting to new ideas, maybe?

The marriage experience I had has really turned me off to the idea of anything serious and I still have a terrible self image.

Im still sexless but I think I'm headed toward wanting to serve well hung men. The porn I watch now is either gay or hung shemale.

I think females are beautiful so I'm definitely not completely gay. I just don't really think I can deal with that right now.

Any thoughts on this?

 

I guess that it could do but I think more likely it just draws out what was already there but perhaps unrealised.

By all means go out and explore but realise that there are just as many users and abusers in the gay community and if your expectations are only based on porn you may be disappointed with what reality serves you up.

I dont think your bad marital experience should put you off finding love or having a satisftying sexual relationship with which ever sex you decide to settle on

 

I have known several men that turned to the same sex after a divorce. According to them it is much easier to find a willing man than it is to find a willing woman.

 

Jesus don't look to deeply into it. You are attracted to girls and dudes so what? There's nothing wrong with it your perfectly normal.

 

It's a funny thing, life. No matter how much schooling, how many books or films, how many new dad's, the colour of your skin etc... Perfect is flawed. Happiness comes in small doses. Nothing lasts forever etc...

Chin up, you do have a say in whatever path you'll find yourself on.

 

"Im on the smaller side to begin with so the lack of intimacy is really not helping me out with any self esteem issues."


Please, stop your whining. You ever think of trying to help yourself and changing your terrible self image? Just sitting around sulking and feeling sorry for yourself is not going to help, it'll only help make you feel worse. Why not get off your ass, start exercising a little, start eating healthy, get yourself a new look,new hairdo maybe a little beard or goatee, buy yourself some new clothes? What I'm saying is change your life, a new you a fresh start. Divorce could be a good way of rediscovering yourself, you should be taking advantage of the freedom you have to do and be who you want, it's all up to you. Nothing is ever going to change if you don't make them change. And don't think that your desire to blow a guy or a well hung shemale is abnormal in anyway, because I'm perfectly normal. Don't worry about anything or anyone, worry about yourself, what's normal to me is perverted to my wife, but why start listening to her now? Good luck my friend.

 

One good thing you know now.
You know what you do not want.
Now is the time to look for what you do want.

 

O yes, sexual-repression creating diversions. Notorious.

 

Define " normal sex life"

 

Just a couple of thoughts, first, I believe more porn and the resulting exposure to kinks just makes you more dissatisfied with what you have and/or what you're getting. Face it, not many people lead the life of a porn star, and I for one, wouldn't want to.
Second, not all women are narcissistic and many actually enjoy sex almost as much as they enjoy making their lover happy and satisfied. Don't be too quick to give up on women completely.
Third, I've known some pretty bitchy women but none that were so bad that they could turn a straight man gay. So I wonder if your desire to "serve well hung men" has been growing in you for some time thus making your marriage even more miserable.

 

First off @sexstarvedoldman congratulations on your new life and yes years of mis or disuse can wear thin on our self esteem, so wherever your mind or cock wants to lead you DO IT! Trust in yourself that you'll find the balance you need, but for now just enjoy the freedom you've been afforded!

 

Dust off your broken heart and kick out the ghosts of the past and go out and enjoy life and the experiences that you want.

 

Give yourself permission to be whoever..however you desire, and do it with conviction

 

I get it Jack, I really do but you can't just pretend that you don't have a little cock!

 

Yeah that's pretty open Im sure.

I will say that the early years of my marriage, intimacy was at most a dozen times a year for the first 2 or 3 years and it was downhill from there. There was always some "condition" or hurdle to jump and that really doesn't make you feel to wanted or desired. Zero intimacy for the last 3 years of the marriage because I quit begging for it and knew that it was going to be more rejection.

And I do now understand that she is completely fucking nuts, but I think I caught some crazy along the way! LOL

 

Thanks for the reply!

I get it about the users and abusers. Have zero interest in the abuser part, but the user part I find a bit of a turn on!

 

Who's pretending? I never pretended to have a small cock, I swear to God, the fuckin things small! But I have much more to please a lady with, other than just my cock. I also have being a good bullshitter going for me. Joking aside, there's more to a man then just the size of his prick, do you actually think that you're the only man in the whole entire world with a small prick? People that are blind, learn how to use their other abilities, their sense of smell becomes much stronger, they can hear the slightest whisper, what I'm saying is that they learned to overcome and help their disability by using their other abilities. They didn't just sit at home walking into walls, well, because they were sitting, fuck I did it again. But they didn't sit around crying about it, they did something about it. If you seriously think that you can't satisfy and pleasure a woman because of your small prick, then you don't know the first thing about making love to a woman, making love is more than just using your prick or the size of it. I told you, I'm pretty good bullshitter. Get a life and become a man for once, you have the world in your hands, don't waste your chance.

 

My opinion of your post changed completely when you explained how you had sex only a dozen times a year for the first 2 or 3 years.
Sometimes I passed up your score on one weekend. You do need to take a good look around. Good luck.

 

Personally, sex in any capacity, has influenced (if not steered) my path. Its at the root of everything. Where I've lived, the people I've met, the lifestyle choices I've made. I'm definitely shallow but recently, its at the root of me picking myself up. There's light my friend. Turn it on.

 

I agree with the part that no matter how dissatisfied I am with my sex life, it wouldn't, " Turn me gay". It might lead many people to cheating, and unfortunately, society never asks what the other person did for such a long time to make you cheat. They will always look at the one who cheats as the "bad" person.