I and my wife have been married for a while now. After a few years I found out that she had started cheating on me for quite sometime. I was hurt a bit at first but then the more I thought about it I kinda liked the fact that she was sleeping with other guys. I too started having sex with other women. Recently we celebrated our anniversary and just to hear what she would say I asked my wife if she ever cheated on me. And I was surprised she said yes boldly. She told me that she cheated on me quite a lot in the first few years of our marriage but then she started loving me and stopped cheating. Due to her having affairs in the early years of our marriage and us having kids, I found out from the paternity tests that both our sons aren't mine. I was deeply hurt but then i saw how much they love me, my wife loves me too. i decided to forgive her. We both have sex with other ppl but haven't told each other yet. But the thought that I'm raising someone else's sons eats me sometimes. Does it really make me any less of a man?

 

Makes you more of a man I believe. You both made mistakes according to both of your views. You were both mature enough to decide to forgive. The children are the innocent ones. They didn't ask to be part of your lives. But to accept them as your children and raise them accordingly makes you man.

 

Yet another nonsensical contradictory thread.

"I asked my wife....she boldly told me yes."

"We both have sex with other people, but haven't told each other yet."

"She started loving me and stopped cheating."

"(repeat) we both have sex with other people, but haven't told each other yet."

"I started having sex with other women."

"I decided to forgive her."

Next time write your fiction BEFORE you take those drugs. The story will come out making more sense (maybe).

 

Raising someone else's kids as your own makes you more of a man.

 

Nope. Because that would mean men with adopted kids or foster are less of a man but in reality are far more manly in my opinion.

 

Definitely more of a man than most, they only know u as dad and they always will.

 

no I don't think it makes you less of a man I think anyone in the spot your in would feel the same way I know I would

 

It sounds to me as though your relationship with your spouse is fucked....and NOT in a good way....
Wow....If this story is true I feel that this relationship is going to end badly...and soon....

 

It's noble of you to raise someone else's kids, sure, but you and your wife need some serious help. It's going to damage the children too, if you both keep using each other and having little to no disregard for commitment. Where will they learn how to commit not only to other people but to themselves and their own goals in life without parents who can't even stay faithful to each other?

 

I don't buy this one. I just wish there was a BULLSHIT emoticon I could use.

 

Not at all, your a father and that will never change and hopefully time will help you work out the rest.

 

+100

 

No more less of a man than one who adopts and raises a child.

 

You're a MAN because you continue to raise them. doesn't matter who the sperm came from...YOU'RE THEIR FATHER !

But on a side note, i'd be hurt to realize my bloodline won't continue (unless you have brothers) I am actually the last of my line. No more sons....grandfather had no brothers or sons other than my dad. He had 2 girls. I have a daughter and divorced before trying to a second child. I HATE the idea of multiple children with multiple partners...so i was done having kids at 30.

 

No I don't think it makes you less of a man. It's actually pretty normal I believe. I have a step son that I treat very well and he actually loves me and likes me better than his own mother. I get upset sometimes not because I take care of someone else's kid because she is not as good as I am. But what bothers me is that the kid is my husbands. Now he never cheated on me, he was with her for a while before we found each other again. It really kills me at times to