Ever have a sexual encounter where either you or the other person(s) felt guilt or shame afterwards for no tangible reason (tangible being taboo, cheating, pressured/blackmailed/coerced sex, and obviously anything clearly lacking proper consent). Did you ever identify the cause? If so, was it psychologically/emotionally based, or was it the circumstances that bothered you? If not, how did you cope, and are you still actively trying to resolve it?

 

Yeah. One of my exes always regretted it for no good reason. She just always Thought it would be tHe last time she would ever fuck me until the next time. Actually why we broke up.

 

Not counting your "tangibles" the only time I felt bad about it after was with a girl I'd been friends with for a long time.
We were never single at the same time and we were "hanging out buddies".
Then of course came the time when we were both not seeing anyone else, a few drinks and she asked "How come you've never hit on me?"
We ended up having a weekend of sex but it changed our relationship as friends.
It was hard not to think about it every time we saw each other again.
Eventually we both ended up seeing other people again and tried to remain close friends but you know, once you've had your mouth on someone's genitals it's hard to go back to just hanging out

 

Never will have guilt sex

 

Fortunately my big head controls all the reasoning prior to the act, therefore, I don't feel guilt after enjoying the action.

OT

 

I can't say for sure. Maybe they were too guilty or ashamed to tell me.

I wish I hadn't fucked my first husband that last time, months after we had split. In hindsight, I see that he was good at guilting me into bed. But sooner or later, I'd realize he had manipulated me again, not just with sex, but about blame over stupid little things. But I'd feel anger as much as guilt or shame afterwards, mostly confusion. I met him when I was 18, and finally got out when I was age 25. I was surprised how happy I was, once free. I thought I loved him and he loved me. So I was surprised when my heart was "Yippeee" afterwards rather than sad about our tragic love. My understanding of what had happened has changed over the years.

 

Before I found harmony in openly accepting being gay, I felt guilty and ashamed after it was all over I fell into a depressive mind as if I had done something wrong. This lasted a day or two. Now I don't care!

 

I was in a relationship where the ONLY kind of sex I got within that relationship for a time was "guilt sex" ... she felt guilty about withholding from me and finally would offer.

Worst. Sex. Ever.

Eventually stopped saying "yes.." to the offers... eventually left the relationship.

Will never be in another relationship where rewarding, joyful, mutually satisfying sex isn't very high on the priorities list

 

I've never felt guilty about any sex.

 

I enjoy sex dont feel any guilt i enjoy eating good pussy

 

I've never felt guilty after sex. There has been a time or two when I felt a little bit ashamed. And there have been times when I felt kind of depressed afterwards, for no good reason.

 

Cases like yours are what I was mainly fishing for. If you're okay with explaining, is there anything you could say to elaborate?

 

Actually there is only one time that comes to mind when I felt ashamed. I took part in a foursome with my then (now ex) husband and another couple. I didn't really want to do it but I went along with it (to a point) because it was expected of me (I know, stupid reason). I don't believe that it was guilt that I felt because I was coerced into participating. But when it was over, and even before it was over I felt ashamed of what I had done. As far as feeling depressed after sex, I can't explain it, I'm not really sure I even understand it. I think it's kind of like a kid at noon on Christmas, you've been looking forward to the presents for days or weeks but now they are all opened and you have nothing to look forward to. I think I asked this question here once and one of the replies said it has something to do with endorphins, or something like that.

 

I never truly have although looking from the outside many have felt that it was necessary to try to illicit that response from me, I made a conscious decision early on that I would never allow myself guilt if I felt the justification was strong. No blaming alcohol, drugs or peer pressure for me thanks I take the blame and suffer the consequences wherever they may lead!

 

I had something very similar.
I had this uprecidented wild sexual attraction to this one girl I was dating. I couldn't keep my hands off her. In addition to that, while we where dating, we wouldn't see each other daily. Maybe twice or 3 times a week, sometimes get away for a full weekend, and sometimes wouldn't see each other for a week.
And the phenomenal sexual attraction was both sided - she felt something similar, and somehow she felt bad about it. We'd spend most of our time together having sex and it looked like she felt bad about it afterwards. Evin at times she was the one intiating all the sex during the day.
Maybe she was a little ashamed, because we where kinky, and we talked very little about it, but I assume I was the first guy who liked her body that much and maybe she felt ashamed for liking that much sex and being a bit of a perv... maybe she felt like she wastes time with me (she didn't realy bring me into her life. I seemed to be more like a plan B thing) but couldn't resist attraction and that caused her shame or some emotional disonance.

When those emotions started rubbing off on me, I took a step back emotionaly, because I felt like I was chasing her all the time, and maybe pushing her, maybe her shame and discomfort where my fault... But we broke up as soon as I stopped chasing.

 

Near the end of my first marriage and I had fallen in love with a co-worker, deeply fallen in love, the first time in my life that I experienced that feeling. Never had felt that or anything near for my ex. The co-worker though had no interest in me at all.

She knew there was no way to save our marriage and tried to get me back with the sex she'd withheld me for many years. Afterwards I felt dirty.

The break-up came shortly after.

 

Not me and I hope I never do.