I want to hear true stories about cheating. Have you ever cheated on a partner? How long had you been together? Did they find out? Are you still with them? And most importantly, how did you feel about it? Did you feel guilty? Or were you ok with it?

 

Yes I have, and it finished my marriage.
I lived with her for maybe 3 years or so having the most amazing sex.
She went a bit odd, so we split - ah well....

 

nope

Not everyone agrees on the definition of cheating, but I've never cheated. In a relationship where the boundaries were discussed and defined, I've not crossed them. In relationships where there were no definitions I've never crossed my personally defined lines.

 

I have cheated on almost all my girlfriends. Have not cheated on wife yet or when she was my gf and dont plan on it. I was young and got bored easily and never felt guilty

 

Yeah, I cheated.

I could say I was young and naive, but I wasn't. I could say I was thoughtless, but I wasn't. I could say it was just a casual fling, but it wasn't. I could provide a whole realm of justifications for it - justifications like that are what I'm very, very good at - but the simple fact is that I saw what I wanted and nothing was going to stop me.

I was never found out. Only idiots are found out; idiots who get careless. Getting careless is the cardinal sin; the moment you stop taking the precautions seriously, the moment you shrug off the paranoia, you're as good as caught. It's a never ending task, wiping records, cleaning up, constructing elaborate lies based in half-truths.

The problem is people never lie enough. If you tell your girl you're working late when you're meeting your mistress, then tell everyone else that. Earmark a two-hour timeslot; spend one hour at work so that your colleagues know you're working late. Make sure you colleagues know that you'll be a doing a job that could potentially take you away from your desk. Put your briefcase and your coat in your car at lunch time, and just work from papers you can store in your desk so that when you leave, people don't think you're leaving for the night because you're still in your office clothes. Thus, when you leave after an hour to see your mistress, people don't even notice you leaving. Any phonecalls will result in your colleages telling your partner that you are working late, they've seen you, but you seem to have popped out - they'll pass the message on when you return.

Get a locker at work, or the gym. Change your clothes to identical clothes before you see your mistress, and then change back. Forbid her from wearing perfume or scented deodoarnt or shampoo when you see each other. If you're not expected to shower - say by being at the gym - don't shower at your mistress'. You'll smell of soap, and inexplicably so.

Have two mobile phones. If possible, don't tell your mistress your real name, or not your surname. Go by your middle name if you have to. Never, ever divulge your home number.

Do not screw women from work. Ever. Do not screw women on the other side of town - all it takes is one colleague to mention they've seen you pulling out the lot and going left instead of right at the work's Christmas party to your wife, and suddenly she's suspicious. Where have you been going?

Don't give her your email or your facebook. Give her a fake email. Check it only at work, and never on your phone. Delete all texts. Remember her phone number - don't even write it down - and delete all call records. Pay in cash taken from your usual ATM.

Lay out the ground rules. Talk about your feelings often. If you feel she is overstepping the emotional boundaries you've set, then leave. Destroy the phone. Cancel the email account, throw out the changes of clothes, and you'll never see her again.

Do all that, or at least some of it, and you won't get caught. But there's a final caveat.

Compartmentalise. Compartmentalise, to the point of sociopathy. You have to be able to switch on and off. You have to be able to believe your lies. When you tell your wife you love her you have to mean it, and the only way of doing that is if at that moment there simply is no-one else. Your mistress must exist only when you're fucking her.

Did I feel guilty? Not in the slightest. Guilt is not something I 'do'. To me, it's a choice: get on with your life, or go through the motions of self-flaggellation. Why bother feeling guilty? If she will never know, and if you can compartmentalise properly, then when you tell her you love her you are being as honest as possible.

The sex, by the way, was incredible. I should have stuck by her, and I didn't, and oddly enough I feel sorry for that.

 

holy shit!

Jesus Christ, x_orion, that sounds like way too fucking much effort for some elicit pussy. Just think, if you spent that much time, effort, money, and intellect on your wife, she'd probably gobble the cock however, whenever, and as much as you could ever want! I'm tired just from reading about your affairs, let alone living them.

 

Have you ever cheated on a partner? Yes
How long had you been together? A week
Did they find out? No
Are you still with them? No
And most importantly, how did you feel about it? I didn't feel bad i was a slut back then
Did you feel guilty? Or were you ok with it? I was fine

 

To X_Orion

I mean absolutely no offence in saying this but holy shit you are bordering on psycho. You take OCD to another level and almost make me look normal.

 

Oh, but I did lavish care and attention on my then partner. I was the perfect gentleman to her as much as I could be, though no doubt for a variety of reasons she would now disagree; some of them unfounded, some perhaps not.

Is this not normal? Do people not take the damn time and effort not to get caught? If you want to break the big rules, then my God you better prepare. And if you don't have the mental fortitude to do it, then don't do it at all. Not everyone can shake a man's hand, look them in the eye, and tell a barefaced lie, but what they don't realise is that the firm grip and the straight look is the key. You can say what you like if you look them in the eye; even more so if you subtly ensure that looking them directly in the eye is not something you do often.

So you train yourself: you look her in the eye when you tell her you love her. You look her in the eye when you tell her the cooking was wonderful. You look her in the eye when you bring her flowers, when you kiss her goodbye before you leave for work, and you look her in the eye when you tell her you're going to be late.

Cheating is not 'something you just do'. Cheating is completely reorganising and rebuilding your life. This is not being 'OCD' or 'psycho'. This is 'taking adequate measures' and if society calls this kind of behaviour and compartmentalising sociopathic then so be it, I am a sociopath.

 

Simply put, no people dont do that normally. People, men usually, cheat because they see something they want but know their spouse,gf,whatever wouldnt allow them to have it, or they are searching for something they arent getting in their relationship.

Most people are that meticulous about cheating. You are bordering on that double life thing with all your sociopathic ways.

 

Ah well. It's not worth doing if you do it sloppily. If you make the decision to cheat - and it should always be a considered one - then one must react accordingly.

Basically by not thinking with your dick - or your pussy.

 

You are the type of man that makes women crazy, because after being with you women question everything their new spouse does and when explaining the situations their man could be up to they sound crazy and the guy freaks out. LoL.

 

Never while I was married. have no reason to any more

 

Oh, no they don't. They never know. They don't end up crazy because I've gone to elaborate and very great pains to ensure that not only am I not caught, but I am not even suspected.

 

i always cleaned my tracks. X orion and i did have something in common when it comes to cheating. Also if u feel like u will get a guilty conscience or ? urself take precaution and/or dont even think of going thru with it

My back up clothes were nothing my girls seen so if they did laundry or organized clothes they never notice anything missing. I was always random anyway so nobody ever knew what my plans were even closest friends

 

I've never cheated since I've been married, at least in the narrow sense of the word. Whatever I've done, my husband has known about it and approved. He trusts me, and I trust him.

 

never

 

I second that!!

 

Nooo, sorry...it means I've had sex with other women...and none of them had a 60" chest.

 

I have not not really proud of it....at the time I was starting to think I had a problem...I always had to either fuck or jerk off...jerking off wasnt nearly as fun....There was a time when I would have a girl stay the night fuck her, she would leave in the morning, then later that next day I would go see my girlfriend....thank fully she never found out..

I consider myself lucky that I was never caught