?

 

will it delete it after awhile of no logins?

 

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Take your limp dick and wrap some 10 lb. test line around it about 14 times in a loose coil configuration and tie it off. Not too tight, but firm, if you know what I mean. It should look like the coils of a spring but with maybe a half centimeter between each loop. After that, pull up the xnxx video page and proceed to watch your favorite porno. Don't be alarmed by the searing pain now coming from your slowly swelling penis, that's all part of the process. Watch the porno for as long as you can. Whatever you do, DO NOT LOOK AT YOUR PENIS! I won't lie to you, there will be blood. You seem like a pretty good guy, so I just want you to be prepared.

Now, this is important. You need to keep your erection for at least 2 minutes. You watch that porn, stroke your balls, stick a finger in your ass, whatever you need to do to keep it hard for 2 minutes. After that, if you're not on the floor howling in agony, call the ambulance and have them take you to the hospital. If you think you might be on the floor in agony and not able to reach your phone, best to have a trusted person nearby to make the call for you. Your mom, perhaps.

Now, I know what your thinking. How can I choose a favorite porno amidst all of them? And your right, that could be a challenge. Best pick something you think might be good and if it doesn't work, just move on to the next one. If you have tabbed browsing you can open up several and watch them one after the other until you find one that does the trick.

You also might be thinking WTF, DUDE!? because wrapping your dick in fishing line and then getting a hard-on sounds crazy. But it's not, and I'll tell you why. You see, the simple truth is that one can not have one's account deleted. It's simply not an option. The forum gods have deemed this so. All that it really takes to leave is a little bit of willpower. You obviously don't possess this so we have to take more drastic measures. For you, that drastic measure is a little bit of aversion therapy.

You see, after you complete this task, you will be scared for life. Not only physically, but emotionally as well. You've got a lot of things bombarding you over a short period of time and that's going to leave some mental demage. You've got the pain, the extreme sado-masicism, the sight of all that blood leaving your penis, your mom watching over you, possibly naked with her favorite whip with the handle that doubles as an 8 inch black dildo that she refers to as Black Mamba, and then the embarrassment of all those people at the hospital who will be asking themselves, "What kind of sick freak..." and the list goes on.

From that day forward you will never ever be able to log back in to this site because the emotional tramua from this act will paralyze you with fear at even the mention of it. Hell, you might never be able to fuck again.

So, best of luck to you. God Speed, my good man. God speed.

-S-

 

no but we will pull up this post quite often for you, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

Mr. Shake,That was by far your best post ever! :excited:

 

*bows* I am but a humble servant.

-S-

 

Someone's cranky.
And I love it.

 

Nah, I'm not cranky. Just having a bit fun, that's all.

-S-

 

Good. I wouldn't want you to be in fowl temper.

 

LOL that was a classic!

 

The over-abundance of porn on this site tends to keep me on an even keel. :excited:

-S-

 

Oh Shake, that's the best I've ever seen!

 

Pardon all the typos. My contacts are getting blurry.

-S-

 

What is a poster with 2 posts afraid of?

 

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