I like it rough from time to time and enjoy a guy forcing himself on me. One guy was so rough with me that I almost cried, but I held back the tears because I didn't want to freak him out. Later while talking to the guy about it he said that would have turned him on more and would have made him fuck me harder. Is that a common turn on amongst guys? Part of me wanted to stop him, but it felt so good in a twisted way.

 

It seems to be a common turn on for women I think most guys do it because women like it

 

I think all can be fair until the request of STOP or NO is said! ..Umm, a universal word of understanding.

 

When a person wants to ease back on the pain is entirely up to them, it's really that simple.

 

The only time I've ever had sex that was too rough, it involved profuse internal bleeding. There was an actual pool of blood on his satin sheets. We decided that might have been a bit much.

Consider these things and discuss them in advance with your partners:

1. Know your physical limitations. Do you have any injuries or conditions affecting your mobility, your ability to withstand physical force, your healing time? I've got hypermobile joints; if anyone tries to throw my legs back over my shoulders, my hips will dislocate. I tell my partners about that!

2. Know your emotional limitations. Do you have any potential triggers? I've been raped, so I like rough sex but I won't do rape play.

3. Decide what your limits are, and consider all the aspects of them. For instance: Is choking okay? If choking is okay, what about being choked till you pass out?

4. Use safewords. The BDSM standards are "green" (keep going!), "yellow" (that's getting to be too much, do it less intensely or do something else now - basically, "stop/cut back on that exact thing, but keep fucking me"), and "red" (stop everything right now). Safewording doesn't mean the end of the night; I've redded on dislocated joints, popped them back in place, and gotten right back to what I was doing.

5. Talk to your partner after you've had sex - not necessarily right after, but later that night or the next day. If something felt bad (physically or emotionally), you can discuss how to avoid it in the future. If something was especially good, you can make sure to incorporate it next time.

 

I knew we could rely upon you Venus.

 

I'd lean more on the "experienced" view point of @VenusInFurze as we've seen her photos she's been bruised up and its part of the pleasure for her. The best advice I could give would be to incrementally introduce varying levels with a safe word for "too much?"

 

I cant say if it is normal for guys or not. I would say that some guys like some woman enjoy it rough and there is nothing wrong with that. But as Venus said make sure you know your limits and make sure your partner isnt being rough because they are psycho but someone who respects your limits and is prepared to reign it in if asked.. Safe words are a good idea as long as both partners are aware

 

When inserting in ass without gel directly in one stroke in lifting position

 

I have told my partners many times that unless I invoke my safe word or gesture, that they are to proceed at will, tears or no tears unless they know the action violates our predetermined boundaries. They all damn well know I get pissed if they stop and I haven't told them to.

 

To fail to listen to the safe word is the ultimate sin

 

Safewords are especially good when you're doing "forced" sex or rape play - if you get off on pretending you don't like it, and saying "no!" and "stop!" are part of the scene. "Red!" lets your partner know that it needs to really stop.

 

If she's dead, it was too rough.

 

I feel sex should be pleasurable not painful. If I feel things are getting rough then I will ask if she is ok. Hurting someone in any way is not my style.

 

I only find sex pleasurable if it is painful....but I totally get that it is not for everyone!

 

Headdesk. Sex is NOT just penetration. Rough sex, in particular, is not just penetration. It's all the choking and slapping and scratching and hair-pulling and biting that makes it fun.

 

Come up with a safe word before the panties come off then that was you won't have to feel embarrassed neither does he. Also set boundaries unless it's not with the same guy then I. That case go girl

 

Why would she not set boundaries with a different guy?

 

Duh the same guy or girl would eventually learn where the line is.

 

Or she could tell him her boundaries and he wouldn't have to "eventually learn" by accidentally doing something that fucked one or both of them up.

Also, people's lines change over time. Things that were once limits for me aren't now, and things that weren't limits are now. If he assumes "okay, she doesn't like choking so I'll never choke her," but after a while she starts thinking "I'd like to try choking again," his "eventual learning" is not going to be standing him in good stead.

Communication is important no matter how long you're in a relationship, or what level of relationship it is.