Hi!

I am new here and really need your help. My husband and I have been married for 3 years. 6 months ago, our daughter was born. We both love her dearly and are happy to have her in our lives. It was clear for both of us that I would stay at home and take care of her and the house. My husband works long days and provides us with everything we need. Since the birth of our girl, he changed. He was always loving and caring and we had a great sex life! But since our daughter was born, we only had sex once and I had literally had to beg him for it.
He used to go crazy when I wore lingerie. I've spend hundreds and hundreds on new lingerie, but he doesn't even notice. He always tells me that he has to get up early for work and is tired.
I don't know what to do anymore. Sex once in 6 months isn't normal, is it? What can I do to get my husband interested again?

Thank you for your help!!!

 

Thank you for your advice. I tried talking to him but he always says that everything is OK! Or he goes off to play with our girl or leaves to go to his friends. Sometimes I feel like he is avoiding me. Did I do anything wrong?

 

Show an effort...If you entice him he'll be more inclinded...We are all shallow..I'm not saying you have gained weight, but it's normal after giving birthday....He could be looking at you seeing that...I mean, revert to what you used to do when you and first started dating...Try new things with him. maybe his idea of what he wants in sex have changed....Let him come home to you wearing something sexy, or with chocolate all over your body.....Maybe when he gets home, just meet him at the door and start telling him all the dirty things you want to do to him..Don't make it just about having sex....make it a game "how long can you fuck me without cumming baby".....blow him....maybe tell him you wanna be chained him...

The trick is, you have to convince him that he's still interested....

But that's just me. My wife loves having sex and I am very in and out. When I'm in it's magical...when i'm out she comes up with ways to convince me I want to, even if i have excuses why I don't want to.....

Wear some sex boyshorts and clean the house in front of him, making sure you bend over a lot....omjesus...that always works on me...Watch the superbowl with him tomorrow and offer to give him a break at half time..

Go out to eat, (hard with a new born) and all dinner just tell him how wet you are thinking about his hard dick...on the way home, rub on his cock through his pants.....just tease him..


The problem is, is that for whatever reason, he's no interested in right now. Now it probably has nothing or very little to do with you, but you have your needs. Convince him he has needs to...Put some glasses on and ask him to jerk off and blow his load on your face...Get the sexual activity back and the sex will come. Maybe just masturbate in front of him....wake up in the middle of the night pull the sheets down and start going to town on yourself...


Or....just ask him?

 

It is true that I gained some weight during pregnancy. But I lost most of it so far.
I should talk with my or his parents. Maybe they'll take care of our girl for a weekend so we can spend some time alone. I feel uncomfortable acting or looking sexy in front of the baby.

Thank you for your advice! I will definately try out some things!

 

Yeah..thats normal...Put the baby to bed one night...you don't have to get rid of her..But that wierd vibe that your giving off about doing things in front of her is definately something he can pick up one..Esp if this is your first child..It's a learning curve....And he's probably timid about doing things in front of the baby too...And both of you are feeding off of eachother...and the timidness is like increasing because of it...

 

I'm very romantic too! When we weren't parents yet, my husband and I used to go out every friday night for dinner and a movie. Sometimes it ended up with us making love in the car. Now I know what my parents meant when they said "Those were the days!"

 

maybe he needs to cut back his working hours if at all possible.

 

He could! I wouldn't mind that at all. But he's not really working so much because of the money but more because he's working on a promotion! His boss gave him an important project that he wants to finish as soon as possible. Maybe he will work less after that but somehow I doubt it.

 

I'd sit down with him and talk to him. Honestly that's the best way of doing things, in my opinion.

 

Lose the rest of it and see what happens.

 

That sounds like I'm fat. It's only 5 or 6 pounds more than I had before.

 

I still have my baby belly and even have some nasty stetch marks hanging around, but mine is MORE interested in me now than he EVER was before.. I'd hate to think your husband is that shallow that it's because you have a little weight because of a BABY. Definitely sit him down and talk to him. Don't take "everything is ok" for an answer. Pull it out of him.

 

Did you get fat after your daughter came out? Needless to say, spending hundreds upon hundreds on lingerie was very considerate of you.

 

Well we can't know what's going on in his mind. I guess the only thing you can do is bring it out in the open with him and see what he says. Communication is good but not always easy huh?
Good luck SnowAngel.

 

My husband likes it of course when I dress nice, put some make up on and have a nice hairdo. But I don't think that my weight is an issue. And I was very lucky because I have little to no stretch marks.

 

I don't know Rixer! We used to be able to talk about anything. We spent nights just talking to each other! But right now, it's really hard to talk to him.

 

ThunderedEchoes, I am NOT FAT! Like I said, I gained a bit during pregnancy but I lost almost all of it so far. There's only 5-6 pounds left and I am working hard to loose them as well.

 

my husband recently went through a similar no-sex phase.
I really think that you are feeding off of him what he is taking from you. Yes ofcourse, talk to him. But it doesn't have to be like..a serious 'I will rip your head off if you do not say what I want to know and I will kick you in the balls if you walk away from me' talk, joke around a bit and don't act upset, tone down your stress a bit if possible, then just ask him gently, after the mood it lightened up "is there something you're stressing about, honey? Can I help?"

 

This kind of thing messes up a lot of guys----more than you can probably imagine, since YOU are personally going through it and dealing with the change.

It is a common psychological reaction that does not simply stop because you put on lingerie. It stinks for you, but you have to be patient, encouraging and you may have to have babysitters/nights out several times before he even starts to come around again.

To him, you were his girlfriend/his lover/his sexy slut/ his wife, etc.

Now, you are a MOTHER. True, the mother of his child---and he was a part of the process, but guys are very fragile in that regard, and for at least a while "a mother' mentally connects to "His MOTHER"----that is enough to completely stifle the sex drive in most normal guys.

Whatever you do, however, don't get discouraged and don't give up. This puts a lot of pressure on YOU, and I an sorry for that---but when women get frustrated, give up when these things happen, and no longer make thoe encouraging ovations----that's when a lot of guys STRAY. They find someone to become the NEW girlfriend/lover/slut. YOU can still be the MOM, but he will get his sexual release elsewhere.

He can still love you and love your baby, but psychologically, he is moving into what is more comfortable territory.

DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN. Be strong, keep working at it, and hopefully he will come around sooner rather than later.

 

Take a picture!