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  2. Hello,


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    Best regards,

    StanleyOG.

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  1. ChaoticDreamer26

    ChaoticDreamer26 Porn Surfer

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2015
    Messages:
    33
    Bloodlust in Brooklyn

    Photo I used:
    [​IMG]

    I watch from my balcony at the mass of people scuttling around below me; completely unaware of the monsters living among them. I watch as they carry out their everyday lives. Blood pumps through their bodies, coursing through their veins at different rates. I can hear it, smell it. Luscious and scarlet. That’s all humans are to me. Food.

    They have many names for me but the most common is the one I use myself.

    Vampire.

    I look at my reflection in the mirror on the back of my door, satisfied by what I see. I'm wearing a red silk dress with a slit up the left leg- it's strapless and clings to my body accentuating every curve. My dark brown hair falls loosely across my left shoulder and ends before my navel. It’s slightly wavy and makes my green eyes stand out even more than they already do. I glance at myself once more and my lips tilt up in a wicked smirk; dinner time.

    I pick up my silver clutch bag and head out of my apartment and down the darkened stairwell. The bar I am heading towards is only a few minutes down the street, though in Brooklyn a few minutes walk can be dangerous. Although if anyone tried anything they would soon regret it. It's dark out but the streets are still bustling; cabs fly past as a blur of yellow, their headlights making the slick, wet roads and sidewalks glisten. People bustle about the street, coats wrapped around them. It's been raining but has stopped briefly, which is good because I would be furious if this dress got wet.

    I walk in, my heightened senses are immediately bombarded. My nose tingles; the smell of alcohol is strong in the air but that is obvious, there are other odours mixed in; perfume, sweat, food, but most of all blood. There's a cocktail of hormones in the air, it's intoxicating. My ears perk up; glasses tinkle and clang musically, laughter, shouting and whispering as I walk through the door. There is a lot of blood. If I had been a new vampire I would have ripped all of their throats out in a matter of minutes. But I'm not a new vampire, I'm over two hundred years old. I have impeccable self-control. Though if anyone had asked I would have said I was eighteen, not a lie I was changed when I was eighteen years old.

    Behind the bar a tall, beautiful man with ash blonde hair that falls to his shoulders looks up and gazes at me. His eyes which at first glance are brown but if you were a vampire like me you would know that when they hit the light they are like liquid gold. He's wearing a black t-shirt that does nothing for the imagination; it's tight, highlighting every muscle. I walk up to the bar feeling eyes on me.

    “Sebastian,” I say looking at him behind the bar.

    “Taliea,” he says his eyes narrowing slightly. His full lips curve into a smirk as he says my name.

    I’ve known Sebastian for a few years; he was one of the first vampires I had found in Brooklyn. Once I had bought my apartment I had explored the area scouting out the best places where I could feed without being noticed. The first time I walked into LionHeart-the bar I'm in now-I knew there was a vampire, and it turned out that it was a gorgeous twenty two year old named Sebastian. I wasn’t looking for romance but vampires have needs too. Sebastian just happened to be as sadistic and twisted as I was so we connected. We used to fuck, no strings, just for fun and we still do.

    Sebastian smiles at me.

    “Business or pleasure?”

    I smile wickedly back at him.

    “Both,” I say sitting on one of the bar stools, purposefully crossing my left leg over my right so that Sebastian can see my bare skin.

    “Well business I would suggest that guy sitting in the corner booth,” he gestures to a man nursing a scotch looking sorry for himself.

    “He’s been here all day drinking so he should be easy to feed from, he won’t put up a fight.” I lean close to him, he smells musky, wild.

    “And pleasure?”

    Sebastian's eyes trail down my leg and then slowly back up to my face. He leans closer to me and whispers.

    “Well for that you don’t need to look far,” there’s a glint in his eyes and I feel his breath on my face-sweet and bitter at the same time-the smell of blood.

    His aura (another vampire perk; seeing human auras let's me gauge them, makes for an easier meal. Vampires are the same although reading their auras is not for a meal). His aura pulses red as he places both hands on the bar and I can see the lean muscles on his forearms and biceps. I lick my lips and he leans in closer until his lips almost touch mine. I close the distance, my lips merging with his. He kisses me gently, teasing me, making my lips tingle. All of my senses are heightened and my nerve endings more sensitive. I pull back a little and he whispers in my ear.

    “Your place or mine?”

    I smile a little, brush my lips against his again and sit back in my stool.

    “Tomorrow, my place, the usual time.”

    His smile widens, his aura glows brighter than ever; red and pink, passionate and happy. That's his one fault, deep down there's still some good in him. I leave him smiling and slide into the seat opposite the sorry looking man I have to feed from. I look around trying to find any other blood banks but the bar is crowded and I can’t separate everyone so I’ll have to settle for him.

    He stares at me in shock and I begin to work. I lean over the table so that he has a clear view of my perky C cup breasts. Of course his eyes drop down and stay there, but I put my finger under his chin and lift his head.

    “Hey,” I purr softly. It’s working already, his eyes are glazing over, he is succumbing to my hypnosis.

    This is a power that all vampires have but it has its drawbacks, the power itself is easy to use; a little smile, a look and they become shrouded in a haze. They do not control their body or their mind, it lasts as long as I want it to, which in my case is only long enough for me to get them out into the darkness and take what’s mine, the luscious crimson blood that is within. The downside to it though is that it doesn't work on everyone, people who have strong willpower and strong minds don't succumb as easily and require a lot more effort. This can be draining and sometimes people like that don't succumb at all and then I'm forced to go elsewhere or resort to brute force. This can get me noticed though so I try and avoid that.

    When I'm certain that this guy has fully succumbed I stand, holding my hand out for him. He gives me a lopsided grin, takes my hand and stands. As we walk out-well I walk, this drunk stumbles-I turn to Sebastian and wink. The right side of his mouth pulls up in a sexy little smile. I shiver a little with anticipation; tomorrow is going to be fun.

    When we're outside I lead the drunk down the alley to the left of the bar, he follows willingly, stumbling along. I sit my silver clutch on top of a dumpster in the alley, and when we are far enough down the alley to not be seen by prying eyes I lunge. Grabbing him by the front of his shirt I throw him against the wall. My vampiric strength makes this easy and he slams into the wall. He's so light and willing, it's funny. He stares at me, his eyes blank and glazed. I'm so hungry. Usually one body can keep a vampire satisfied for a week or two but my last meal was some tiny little homeless woman; not exactly filling.

    My pupils dilate and my mouth fills with saliva, I feel my canines lengthen into sharp points. Holding the man still I lean in. My nose wrinkles, he stinks of booze and sweat. His blood will be bitter with alcohol. Oh great. I can't wait anymore, I lick my lips and pull his head to the side exposing his carotid artery. Vampires might not have beating hearts but we still need oxygenated blood. Deoxygenated blood slows us down and weakens us.

    I pierce my fangs right into the artery, making sure no blood escapes. I drink; warm bitter blood flows into my mouth, grimacing at the bitterness, I swallow. After a few minutes I stop. I run my tongue over the puncture wounds, blood is still oozing out. My saliva contains mild venom, it eases the pain and also acts as a healing agent. I feel new, fragile skin forming under my tongue, I step away from the drunk to inspect his neck. There is new skin, the only evidence of me are two red circles an inch and a half apart, nothing that anyone will notice.

    I would have drained him dry but his blood was too bitter. That and I drained the homeless woman dry, I try to limit the number of bodies I pile up to avoid suspicion. Homeless people are fine; they die all the time. The odd ordinary body here or there but that's it. I look at this sorry sack.

    "Well thanks for that, you've been great," I purr looking directly into his eyes.

    My own green eyes flare as my pupils contract. There are flecks of brown in my eyes and as part of the vampire deal when I use hypnosis these flecks turn into bright, liquid gold. I cock my head to the side, looking at this sad, sad man.

    "You can go now," he nods, walks out of the ally and heads down the street.

    Straightening my dress I turn to grab my clutch and walk out of the alley. I hear a faint whisper and in a split second I'm thrown again the opposite wall to the one I pinned the drunk against. Strong hands grip my wrists and hold them above me on either side of me. Then a body is pressed against my back; lean and muscular, I can feel his groin pressed against my ass. He's tall and leans down, pressing his lips and nose to my neck, he inhales deeply, pushing his groin into my ass.

    "Mmm, " he licks my neck, nibbles it.

    "I've missed you Taliea," he spins me around, still pinning me to the wall.

    ********************************

    I knew the moment I heard that whisper who it was.

    "Theo," I scowl.

    My maker. I haven't seen him in five years, not since I moved to Brooklyn. That's Theo though, he only shows up when he wants something, and by the looks of it he wants me, but it's never that simple when it comes to him. I look him up and down, he's as stylish as ever. He's wearing dark blue jeans and leather boots, no doubt expensive. A white button down shirt is tucked neatly into his jeans, and over the shirt is a dark grey waist coat. The shirt is tight against him, his pecs bulge out. His black hair is shorter than when I last saw him; short but windswept and wild.

    He stares down at me; his eyes are dark blue with lighter blue spikes around the pupils.

    "What do you want Theo? " I say, glaring up at him.

    He laughs bending down so that our faces are mere inches apart.

    "Isn't that obvious Taliea?" There's a wicked grin on his face.

    I smile a little and he straightens up, releasing my wrists, reaching out, he tugs at the chest of my dress.

    "Whoops," he grins, smirking.

    I look down to see my dress is torn at the chest and filthy, I can't believe this! I snap my head up ready to tear his off, but he knows me too well.

    Before I have time to get a word in his mouth is on mine. His arms are wrapped around my body pinning mine to my sides. Wise; he knows I'd only hurt him if my arms were free. One hand grabs my hair and yanks hard, pulling my head back, I relax, letting his tongue mingle with mine. Then I remember that my dress is utterly ruined and I bite down, hard. This does nothing but make him pull my hair harder, his rock hard cock is pressed against my groin. I moan a little and feel his lips curl into a grin on mine. He releases me all of a sudden and steps back, leaving me wanting more.

    "Let's go to your place," he says looking at my chest.

    He flicks one of my already hard nipples, smiling I swat his hand away. He only laughs, as I turn to grab my purse he slaps my ass hard. We head out of the alley, and towards my apartment. We don't even try and go at a human pace. When we get to my apartment, we fly upstairs and inside with vampire speed and agility, In a split second we're in my lounge, completely naked. Our clothes are strewn somewhere in the apartment.

    I stand in the middle of my lounge, Theo stands in the doorway, admiring my body.

    "Mmm, how I've missed that body," he tells me as he stalks towards me and I take in his own nakedness.

    I can see every lean muscle now; rock hard pecs, six pack, lean arms and strong legs. Of course I notice his dick is standing fully to attention, anticipating what is to come.

    "I've missed these especially," he says as he stands in front of me, cupping my breasts in his hands and squeezes.

    "What else have you missed?" I look up at him and pout.

    "Well, I've missed everything." He grins, leaning down to kiss my neck.

    He trails his fingers from my neck down my arms, across my waist, briefly across my pubic area, teasing me. His hands eventually settle on my ass, he squeezes my ass and then slaps both cheeks.

    "I've missed this tight little ass," he growls, looking at me, pressing his cock against me.

    He's about to kiss me hard when I put my finger on his lips, my turn to tease.

    "I just had a thought," my hands rest on his pecs.

    He moves around agitated, hands gripping my ass tighter.

    "What?" I chuckle, amused at his discomfort.

    "I was thinking," I say trailing my hands down his six pack, feeling the hard muscle underneath.

    "Why don't we make this a little more fun," my hands are trailing across his hips now.

    "What are you suggesting?" He looks down at me and raises an eyebrow.

    Now my hands have found his big, hard cock. I trail my fingertips up and down the length of it, he shudders with excitement. I look up at him and grin.

    "Why don't I invite someone over and make this a little party?" Theo's eyes immediately light up and he grins.

    "Sounds like it's gonna be one hell of a party!"

    I laugh and step away from him, grabbing my phone I scroll through until I find Sebastian. I dial and wait, two rings and Sebastian picks up the phone.

    "T, what's up?" I walk over to the window, "Are you busy?"

    Theo has followed me to the window and begins kissing my shoulders, working his way down my arms. I hear some noise in the background, he's locking up the bar.

    "Just locking up, why? Can't wait till tomorrow?" I can hear his grin.

    "Actually I was going to ask if you fancied a threesome?" I giggle.

    There's silence on the other end of the line, he's hung up the phone. Theo has worked his way around to my front and is kissing and nibbling my thighs.

    "Well?" He says between bites.

    "Oh he'll be here, don't worry about that." I smirk.

    This isn't the first time something like this has happened; Theo and I have had all sorts of fun like this, we even occasionally got humans involved, killing them when we were done. This will be the first time Sebastian has ever met Theo, I never speak about him so this should be interesting.

    Not even two minutes later my buzzer rings frantically, I walk over to the phone and press the button to let Sebastian in. A split second later he's standing in the doorway of the lounge, eyeing me up, he grins. Theo had wandered into the kitchen bored and now reappears.

    He looks at Sebastian, Sebastian looks at him. A flicker of shock passes over his face as he realises this threesome involves two guys and not two girls. I glance at Theo, his face remains unchanged, I can't hold back my laughter. Both of them stare at me and when I look at them both the shock has gone from Sebastian's face, replaced with a huge grin. Theo has the same expression on his face, he walks past me towards Sebastian. Sebastian is totally unaffected by his nakedness.

    They greet each other and then stand side by side staring at me.

    "What is it?" Feeling slightly annoyed now, I stand with a hand on my hip.

    They're both grinning like idiots and quite frankly it's irritating me. As I'm staring back at them Sebastian raises his fist and Theo bumps it with his. ‘Did they just fist bump? Seriously?’ I think to myself. As I'm just about to give up on the whole thing Sebastian is suddenly naked. I take a second to admire his form; he has sun kissed skin where Theo is pale. Sebastian is half a head shorter than Theo but just as toned and muscular. As I'm distracted comparing them I don't realise that they are both staring at me hungrily. I take a step back but not because I'm apprehensive. I prepare myself. They lunge.

    A lot of biting, licking and pulling occurs before we even get down to sex. Eventually I end up on my hands and knees on a chair; Sebastian's dick in my mouth while Theo fucks me from behind. I roll my tongue up and down Sebastian's shaft, allowing the motion of Theo behind me to control how much of his cock goes in and out of my mouth.I get bored of this after a while as I can't really play with him like this, so I gesture for Sebastian to move back a little so I can play. Theo is happy to continue fucking me hard, all the while grabbing my ass.

    Every now and then he gives it a good hard slap, and I quiver, that really turns me on. I bring my attention back to Sebastian, he's waiting patiently. Taking the head of his dick in my mouth I look up at him, he gazes down at me, pure lust all over his face. I suck the head of his dick, hard. He growls, deep in his chest and thrusts his hips forward, forcing the entirety of him into my mouth. I give him a hard slap on the ass and pull my head back, letting him know that I'm in control now.

    This goes on for a while, and then we let the pleasure build. Theo explodes inside me and I quiver around him while Sebastian erupts in my mouth. I swallow warm cum and run my tongue along the head of his dick, making sure I don't miss any. Theo pulls out of me and I remove Sebastian's cock from my mouth. I stand, stretch and go to the bathroom to clean myself up before we go again.

    When I emerge from the bathroom Theo walks past me. He trails his fingers along my breasts before closing the bathroom door. While Theo is in the bathroom I turn my attention to Sebastian. Standing in front of him I lean in, kissing his chest. I nip and kiss my way along his chest, my hands running up his back. He moans and just as he does I fist my hands in his hair and pull him down, towards my mouth.

    My parted lips meet his and he wraps his arms around me, pressing my naked body against his, our tongues entwine as Sebastian deepens the kiss. Theo returns and sees our embrace, it takes a minute-and a very reluctant Sebastian- before we disentangle, flustered. Theo raises his eyebrows, I walk up to him and plant a kiss on his cheek, he slaps my ass in protest and I squeal.

    When I resume my position on the chair it's Sebastian's turn to fuck me. He is more than ready for this after that kiss, as he slams his rock hard cock into my wet pussy again and again. I have no complaints against this, in fact I get quite into it. Theo unfortunately has to stand and wait, agitated. After a few minutes I remember that Theo is there, I smirk a little at his exasperation and then make sure I spend some extra time on him to make up for it.

    I'm a little more aggressive when it comes to Theo. I like that about him, I mean sure Sebastian is pounding me now but that's because of the excitement, he can be rough but not like Theo. There are no boundaries when it comes down to Theo and me. Anything goes. I take Theo's full length in my mouth and suck hard, I graze my teeth up and down his shaft as I suck, he moans loudly, grabbing a fistful of my hair. I continue sucking and his moans only get louder, his grip on my hair tightens.

    After a while I see that the sun is just rising, a hazy glow spreads across the lounge floor.

    At one point we aren't even having sex, I sit on my couch, legs splayed wide and pleasure myself while Sebastian and Theo watch. I insert a finger into my pussy; wet and warm. I move it in and out, caressing myself, then I work on my clit. I tease and pull with my right hand as my left goes up to my breast. As I rub my clit with one hand I tug on my hard nipple with the other. I bite my lip, looking over at Sebastian and Theo.

    They are both gripping each armrest of the couch, basically hyperventilating, struggling not to pounce on me at that moment. As I rub and tease myself I let the pleasure build up. See the thing with vampires having sex is that it can last as long as you want it to last; it isn't a matter of self control with vampires. Pleasure builds and builds and I arch my back as the sweet release of orgasm washes over me. My toes curl, everywhere clenches, I bite my lip and let wave after wave wash over me.

    Eventually I relax and let me head fall back, but the next thing is know Theo is on his knees on the couch next to me kissing me. While Sebastian has spread my legs again and is kneeling on the floor, going down on me. I'm surprised at this but then I remember how on edge they were watching me. I prop my feet up on Sebastian thighs to give him easier access. Theo has a hold of my hair again but this time he's holding it so I can't pull away, my tongue moves with his. He bites my tongue a little too hard, payback for earlier, and I grin biting his lip. He moves away from my mouth and starts kissing my neck, biting.

    Sebastian's tongue has been darting in and out of my pussy but he now moves it up to my clit. He moves his tongue around it slowly, I quiver a little and I feel him grin. He grazes his teeth over my clit and then sucks it a little, my toes curl, his tongue moves quickly over my clit now. As Theo kisses me hard and Sebastian continues circling my clit quickly, I let all of the pleasure build. Theo growls and moves to my neck, he licks and kisses and then I feel a slight sting and tingle. He bites me.

    The combination of Theo biting me and Sebastian going to town on my clit is enough to send me over the edge. Groaning loudly, my hips arch, toes curl. I grip the couch cushions, quivering all over. Theo eases his fangs out of my neck and the skin immediately heals over. Sebastian sits back on his heels grinning; his mouth wet with my cum.

    The sex lasts for...well I don't know how many days. Vampire sex tends to last until either we get bored or hungry. The latter is what happened for us.

    ********************************

    As we are getting dressed I realise I haven't even introduced Sebastian and Theo to one another. I pull on a pair of navy, waist high skinny jeans and walk into the lounge topless. I almost fall over as I walk in; they are both kneeling in front of my coffee table, topless. They're arm wrestling. Theo is sitting on the left flexing his right bicep, while Sebastian sits on the right also flexing his right bicep. They are gripping each other's hands, teeth gritted. I stand, hands on hips, tits on show and watch them struggling with one another. I watch for a few minutes and then get bored so go back to my bedroom to finish getting ready. If they haven't introduced each other by now I'll just have to do it later.

    I pull on a flowing white crop top, no bra; I'll be the bait for our dinner tonight, so the more skin on show the easier it is to lure in prey. Suddenly there's a crash from the lounge. You've got to be kidding me! I rush in to see Sebastian and Theo are nowhere to be seen. They're hiding in the kitchen, for good reason. My VERY expensive Italian glass coffee table is lying shattered, even the metal frame is bent and snapped. This is unbelievable. I stand over the shattered remains of my beautiful coffee table, furious. Both Theo and Sebastian poke their heads out of the kitchen doorway and smile nervously at me. In the blink of an eye I have them both by the scruff of their necks and slam them onto the floor.

    "What the fuck?" Sebastian's eyes widen. Theo laughs; he could easily get out of my grip, older vampires are much stronger than young ones. He doesn't even attempt to get out of my grip; he knows I'm that pissed.

    "All right, all right," he laughs, putting his hands out in front of him, "We're sorry," he surrenders. My grip on their necks tightens.

    "Yeah we're sorry...very sorry," Sebastian says.

    "Damn right you're sorry!" I release them and stand up. They get up and back away a little.

    "You're going to replace that," I say glaring at both of them.

    They nod and I relax a little.

    "Get ready," I snap, still annoyed.

    I leave them and go back to my bedroom, pulling on a pair of black suede wedges I turn to the mirror on the back of my door. I take a quick look at myself; skin tight jeans showing off my legs, crop top showing just enough skin, no bra allowing my perky breasts to bounce freely, my dark brown hair wild from all the sex. My eyes are a sharp green; the brown flecks flaring gold from anticipation. My mouth waters. Feeding time.

    When I reappear in the lounge the guys are fully clothed and ready to go,they have the same look of hunger in their eyes that I have.

    "About time," I walk past them and out the front door without looking back. They aren't getting off the hook that easily.

    ********************************

    We head out and, not even three minutes later arrive at Prospect Park. Prospect Park is one of the biggest parks in Brooklyn and it just happens to be a quick walk or quicker drive from Brooklyn College. The lake at the park is an especially popular spot for college guys and girls to get drunk. It's just after ten o'clock on a Friday night and from the entrance to the park I can already hear the drunken noise. I'm standing in the middle of Theo and Sebastian, I glance up at them and nod. We get close enough to the lake so that we can see the group, this isn't very close because of our heightened vision.

    There's a big group of frat guys sitting around their newly made fire, I can see a few girls scattered about them. A big red Jeep wrangler has been driven across the grass and sits right in front of the lake, just behind the frat guys and their fire. I'm already planning out our attack; calculating the risks. I can see Sebastian and Theo are doing the same; their foreheads furrowed in concentration. This will be tricky, but if it works the rewards will be so sweet. There are problems with this potential feed though; it's a big group, ten people in all. The issue with this is that we can't leave any survivors; we have to kill them all. That requires planning and effort. High risk but high reward.

    Hypnosis only works on one person at a time so that's out the window. The only way this can possibly work is if I draw everyone in; keep them all together, then Sebastian and Theo can come in and attack. After that everyone has to be killed quickly; we can't afford to have any unnecessary noise or attention towards us. We'll have to feed quickly and then stage some sort of accident; we can't just leave ten bodies drained of blood in the middle of a park. The Jeep could come in handy.

    I relay my thoughts to the guys and they agree, having come up with nothing by themselves.

    "Hopeless," I sigh walking towards the lake.

    Sebastian and Theo take off, getting into position. As I get closer to the lake I can see some of the frat guys have already spotted me. I've almost reached the group; they're all staring now, even the girls. Good. The guys nudge each other and whisper, of course I can hear everything they say.

    "Babe," I hear, "I call dibs,"another guy says. "I so would," a petite blonde giggles to her friend, I smirk. I hear a few more comments as I finally stand in front of the group. All eyes are on me.

    "Hey guys,"I say with as much enthusiasm as an eighteen year old who is dying to get drunk would...I think.

    One of the frat guys stands up; he's one of the biggest in the group, he has a broad chest and shoulders and I immediately assume he plays football. In my mind I call dibs on him. What a feast he'll be! He eyes me, grinning wildly.

    "Well hello yourself, what's brought you here?" He runs his hand over his chin.

    I give him my most dazzling smile. All white teeth and sultry eyes.

    "I was heading out for a drink and I heard all the noise. I was curious so came to check it out. " I shrug, still grinning at him.

    "I see you're having a party," I nod toward the rest of the group, whose eyes are still trained on me.

    He grins and some of his buddies get up and stand behind him, having heard me say that.

    "We sure are, we won our game today." He looks at his friends who each grin in turn. So I was right about football. Of course.

    "Mind if I join you?" I ask, fluttering my eyelashes. The guys in front of me are beaming now, I step toward the biggest one, gazing at him.

    "This seems like a lot more fun than drinking myself," I purr.

    He swallows and I resist the urge to laugh. His eyes brighten and he grins once more.

    "Sure thing sweetness, the more the merrier."

    I walk over to the Jeep and lean against it. The roar of the fire drowns out the beating of their hearts and rush of their blood, but I'm hungry. I won't be able to keep up the pretence for long. I find interacting with humans tiring, so when the big guy approaches me it takes all of my effort to hide my annoyance. He stands a little bit too close to me and leans against the Jeep, I turn my head to the right to look at him.

    "Here you go sweetness," he hands me a beer. I smile sweetly at him.

    "Thanks," I say, taking the cold can from him.

    He drones on for a few minutes about football and what college team he beat. He tells me his name but I'm not paying attention so forget it. I feign interest; nodding, 'oohing' and 'aahing', laughing. While he speaks he makes a point of touching me: my arm, my shoulder, my neck, my face and hair. I fight against the urge to sink my fangs into his hand there and then, he smells good. He hasn't been drinking for long and his blood still has a sickly sweet smell. After a minute or two my patience is gone, I stand up straight and turn to look at him.

    "Why don't we put some music on?" I say, my eyes gleaming. He grins and nods in agreement.

    "Great idea," he opens the door to the Jeep and turns the ignition on. A moment later music blares from the radio.

    This does nothing for my ears, but I need them distracted. I pull anyone sitting down to their feet and start to dance; I twist, turn and grind against people and they are all pulled towards me once more. I'm fascinated by how easily drawn to me they are, Vampire perk. Vampires are very attractive to draw their prey in; it's easier to kill something that's infatuated, and follows your every move. Once I'm certain that all eyes are on me I gaze out to the lake. Sebastian is standing on the far left of the lake, Theo is on the right. I look at them both in turn and see them staring at me. I give a nod; a simple gesture but it let's them know. It's feeding time.

    Lambs to the slaughter.

    In a split second Sebastian and Theo are standing in front of the group. They don't notice; still infatuated with every movement I make. Sebastian and Theo take advantage of my distraction and begin to make quick work of the group, snapping their necks is the quickest way to kill them. Two down. Now four. The group notice. Panic. Six. Seven. I grab the petite blonde, my predatory side finally free. She's screaming but all I see is blood, I twist her head sharply, hearing the sweet crack of her neck. I smile moving on to the next one. Nine. I stand in front of Mr broad shoulders. He whimpers as I grin, my canines lengthening and sharpening to points in front of his eyes. My eyes darken and, a split second later he's on the ground, his head twisted at an unnatural angle. They're all dead now. Time to feast.

    Grinning at Sebastian and Theo I feel my body tingle with excitement, they both grin wickedly back at me. I'm already astride the big guy, grabbing his hair and holding his head up, before Theo and Sebastian even take their pick. I waste no time. Plunging my fangs and even my teeth into his neck, I shiver as I gulp down his warm, sweet blood greedily. All too soon he's drained dry. Theo and Sebastian have already moved onto their second fill, the first bodies discarded like paper.

    I move on to some nameless girl; more warm, slightly bitter blood pours out of puncture wounds in her neck. I run my tongue over them, lapping up the freely flowing blood; luscious, red and oh so warm. I hurriedly drain her dry and move on. I move onto another guy, smaller than Mr broad shoulders but a good meal all the same. I'm still not sated so I grab his limp body and rip into his neck. I sever his carotid artery, blood spurts from the wound before my lips close around it.

    I throw his empty carcass away from me and, keeling on the ground I tip my head back and close my eyes. Mmm. My body sings. I'm full, satisfied for the first time in a long time. I look over to see Theo standing over the last remaining blood filled body. Sebastian has just finished with a girl, brunette, busty, just his type. He's standing holding the back of her head, his mouth pressed against her throat. She's small and her body hangs limp; legs and arms dangling above the ground. As I watch he drains the last few drops from her and then, opening his mouth lets her drop to the ground in front of him. She flops down like a ragdoll.

    Sebastian looks at me; his eyes are dark, his stance predatory and dangerous. He grins at me; blood rims his mouth. I shiver, damn he looks good! Grinning back at him I stand, brushing dirt from my jeans, my white crop top is spattered with blood.

    ‘Oh dear, I've made a mess.’ I chuckle to myself and stride over to the Jeep.

    While Sebastian and Theo are both looking at the last body I check my reflection in the right wing mirror of the car. Wow, I have made a mess! There's blood all over my face; dripping down my chin, I'm not usually this careless. My eyes are dark green and wild, I retract my fangs, watching them shrink and return to normal canines.

    Turning back I walk around the fire that is still blazing brightly. I stand on the other side of the body, across from Theo and Sebastian, they both look up. Theo catches sight of all of the blood and smirks, he chuckles to himself. I'm so full and satisfied that I don't care, I just smile at him. Sebastian is still grinning but looks down at the body; another guy.

    “So, who wants him?” he folds his arms.

    “I'm full, you guys can have him,” I say, stretching.

    Theo shrugs and nods in agreement with Sebastian.

    They drain him dry, Theo at his neck while Sebastian has his mouth firmly attached to his wrist. Once they've finished they stand and we all look around, now we have to make this look like an accident. I look around and suddenly an idea springs to mind. They were here drinking, maybe they got bored, hopped into the Jeep, being drunk they could have crashed...into the blazing fire. It might work.

    I explain my idea to the guys, they nod in agreement, we go about setting this up. We put three people in the front of the Jeep, Mr broad shoulders in the driver's seat. The key is still in the ignition, music still blaring from the radio. The three girls go in the back and then we sit the four remain guys in bed. Once all the bodies are in the Jeep I open the driver's side door and put the Jeep into reverse. Sebastian goes around to the front of the Jeep and pushes it back. After that I turn the wheel so that the Jeep is heading towards the fire, I put Mr broad shoulders foot on the gas. Theo is holding the back of the Jeep so it doesn't shoot off, once I shut the door I nod to him to let go.

    Theo let's go of the Jeep and we all stand back and watch, it flies straight into the fire and stalls. We edge back a little more, waiting. It doesn't take long. The gas tank explodes, engulfing the whole Jeep and surrounding area in flames. The fire blazes high in the sky; it won't take long for someone to notice and phone the fire brigade. The bodies are already burning, the smell of burning flesh and hair invades my nostrils. Their bodies will be unrecognisable in a matter of minutes. The whole thing; feeding, staging the accident, takes no more than fifteen minutes.

    We stand for a few minutes watching the flames lick around the Jeep, then turning to Theo and Sebastian I grin at them, satisfied with our work. They grin wildly back at me and I can't help how aroused I feel just looking at them. So wild and primal, I shiver, my skin tingling. We head off, back to my apartment before anyone sees us.

    ********************************

    We're back at my apartment a few minutes later, God I love vampire speed. As we head inside we're all laughing.

    “Well that was some feed,” Theo grins, rubbing his stomach.

    “Yeah, I won't need to feed for at least a month,” Sebastian hoots, stretching his arms above his head, he collapses onto the couch.

    Theo stalks towards me, eyes dark. He puts his hands on my hips and pulls me towards him, dipping down he whispers in my ear.

    “What an animal you can be Taliea,” his teeth graze my earlobe.

    “I forgot how ferocious you can be,” he straightens up, his eyes are gleaming; pride, lust, I don't know.

    “I think I've missed that side of you most of all.” I put my hands on his chest and smile up at him.

    “How could you forget how ferocious I can be?” I whisper.

    “You made me that way, or did you forget that too?” I push him away from me.

    He stumbles, rights himself and huffs. I leave him rubbing his chin and walk into my bedroom. Once in my bedroom I pull the crop top over my head, it's ruined, I throw it in the waste basket by the door. I unzip my wedges and kick them off. Pulling my jeans off, I throw them into the laundry basket and walk into my bathroom. I close the bathroom door and walk over to the sink, my reflection stares back at me in the mirror. There's dried blood all over my face and chin, my eyes are dark and wild. Picking up a flannel I run the hot water over it and begin cleaning my face. After scrubbing for a few minutes and getting no results I throw the flannel in the sink and turn the shower on.

    I don't need to wash; vampires don't sweat but I step in anyway. I stand under the hot water, letting it cascade over my face. I stand in the stream for a few minutes, enjoying the sensation of water on my skin. I wash my face and then decide to indulge myself. I lather shower gel on the rest of my body, savouring the smell of lavender and the feel of soap on my skin. This isn't the first time I've used my shower, but it's the first time I've used it for washing only, I go all out and wash my hair too.

    Once I'm done I switch the shower off and step out, I walk over to the sink, not bothering with a towel. My ears prick. Theo is in my bedroom; he's waiting for me. I look in the mirror above the sink; my hair is wet, water is beaded on my skin and drips down my naked body. My eyes flare; bright green with gold flecks, I smirk to myself and open the bathroom door. Theo is leaning against the wall, beside my closed bedroom door. He's shirtless and has his arms crossed over his bare chest, there's a dark look in his eyes. I walk towards him, slowly. One side of his mouth curls up as his eyes trail down my body and back up to my face. I stand in front of him and his smile vanishes, that dark look still in his cold blue eyes.

    Suddenly he grabs me and pins me against the wall, grabbing a fistful of my wet hair he pulls hard, forcing my head back so I'm looking into his dark, dark eyes.

    “You're mine,” he growls glaring at me. “Don't ever forget that,” he loosens his grip on my hair, just a little, and smiles down at me.

    I smile but glare at him, a familiar emotion bubbles to the surface. Anger.

    “How could I ever forget that?” I say defiantly.

    He chuckles and we tumble into bed together.

    ********************************

    A few hours later I throw on an oversized black t-shirt, it must be Sebastians. Before I leave my bedroom I look around, the room is wrecked. A lamp is broken and lies in pieces on the floor, the bedside table it was on is also in pieces. My mattress is half on - half off the frame and Theo is splayed on it. My sheets are torn and barely cover him, he's asleep. Vampires don't need to sleep but when we gorge, like we did tonight, it's the only time we really sleep. I leave him sleeping on my bed and wander into the lounge. Sebastian is asleep on the couch; his face is peaceful and even now and then his eyelids flutter, like he's dreaming. I leave him sleeping and head into the kitchen for no particular reason, there's a niggling thought in my head.

    Theo. ‘Why is he here?’ I think to myself. He said it was for me but I didn't believe that for a second. He always has an agenda. It's never as simple as just checking in on his little pet project; me. There's the anger again, my body feels hot and prickly, I shrug it off ‘I'll get it out of him tomorrow,’ I tell myself. I look at the clock on the oven, it's 1:43 in the morning, not that it matters. I'm bored and tired. I go back into my bedroom, Theo is sleeping soundly. I don't even bother to fix the mattress or sheets, I just crawl into bed next to him and close my eyes.

    When I open my eyes again early morning light streams through my bedroom window, it casts a hazy golden glow on the room. I should have drawn the curtains, it makes me feel a little drained. Sunlight doesn't burn Vampires to a crisp like everyone seems to think, it does weaken us though. I rise from the bed, stand up and stretch. Theo sighs but doesn't move. I leave him and wander into the lounge. Sebastian is still sleeping; he's curled up and has his back to me. I leave him sleeping and go back into my bedroom, I get dressed and decide to clean up the mess in my bedroom.

    A while later I decide it's time to wake them. I'm still in my bedroom so I kick Theo's leg, he groans and opens his eyes, narrowing them at me.

    “What is it?” he says hoarsely.

    “Get up,” I say kicking him again.

    He moans but sits up. Once he's out of bed I fix the mattress and strip the sheets off, I throw them into the waste basket and walk out into the lounge. Sebastian is already awake and putting on his black leather jacket. He's leaving?

    “You're leaving?” I say walking towards him, he doesn't look at me.

    “Yeah,” he says, his voice distant.

    I narrow my eyes and smile slightly.

    “Sebastian are you in a mood?”

    I think he's in a mood because I had sex with Theo last night. That thought amuses me. Why would he be annoyed about that after all the sex we just had days ago. He looks at me, his eyebrows are furrowed, his lips set in a hard line.

    “No, but sometimes I forget that all you want me for is sex.”

    I stand, mouth open not quite sure what to say to that, he turns and leaves before I can say anything. I stand in shock for a moment ‘He's never said anything like that to me before. Is he right?’ I question myself, shaking my head. Sure, when I first came here that's all I was interested in from him, it's not like that anymore though. I cringe as I think about it, but I dare to say that we're friends now. Ugh. ‘How soft!’ I think, scowling to myself. I'll speak to him later, make this right. I'd rather not lose my only...friend...over something as meaningless as sex, and with Theo no less.

    Theo appears in the lounge a few minutes later. I'm still sulking, when I turn around to look at him he sees this.

    “What's up? Your boyfriend leave?” he laughs crossing his arms across his chest.

    “Boyfriend?” I laugh out loud. He raises his eyebrows at me.

    “No he's my…” I roll my eyes, “...friend.”

    Theo struggles to stifle his grin.

    “Oh dear, when did you get so soft Taliea?”

    I narrow my eyes and then stiffen as a familiar smell invades my nostrils, I look at Theo but he remains relaxed. There's someone...or should I say something outside. The distinct smell of wet dog and earth is filling my nostrils. Theo can definitely smell this. I glare at him, he's not stiff and wondering who it is. He knows who's outside; he's been waiting for them. He walks over to the window and I follow close behind.

    There's a werewolf standing on the kirb outside my building. To make matters worse I recognise the shaggy guy looking up at my window. ‘What the hell is going on?’ my brain questions. The shaggy guy, who I know as Sam nods at Theo and he nods back.

    “I'll be right back,”he turns to leave.

    I grab his arm and spin him around to face me again.

    “What the hell is going on Theo? Why is Sam here?” I gesture to the window, in the general direction of Sam.

    “You know by now that I didn't just come to bang your brains out,” he grins down at me, I scowl at him.

    “Obviously,” I say trying to edge the conversation on.

    He juts his chin toward the door.

    “You might as well come downstairs, I'll explain there.” I sigh but follow him out of my apartment.

    Outside Sam’s smell is nauseating. We stand in front him, he nods at Theo and then turns and grins wickedly at me.

    “Taliea, been a long time,” he says his eyes trailing down my body.

    My mouth turns down in disgust, yeah a very long time, I feel a memory surfacing but I push it back down. ‘Focus on the matter at hand’, I think, staring at Sam. He's about my height; 5 foot 7”, has shaggy brown dreadlocks hanging down his back and is scrawny. Very scrawny. He's wearing tattered blue jeans and dark green t-shirt, they're dirty. Why am I surprised? Werewolves are not the cleanest creatures, or the most trustworthy.

    “What did you find out?” Theo asks Sam. Sam straightens out his shoulders before answering.

    “Looks like the rumours are true,” I look between both of them confused, Theo gives Sam a look and then turns to me.

    “There were rumours of a Vampire hunter in New York,” he doesn't wait for my reaction before he continues. “I sent Sam to see if there was any truth behind it. Then I came to make sure you were alright.”

    ‘So he was checking on his pet project’, I think. He's quiet, letting me process this information, my head is spinning, a Vampire hunter? In New York? Why? I shake my head, I just don't understand. Theo turns back to Sam.

    “So is this hunter staying in New York?” Sam shakes his head, even he looks worried about this, he leans in a little closer and whispers.

    “Word is he's heading for Brooklyn. People are saying he's looking for something...or someone, here.”

    Theo rubs his chin, thinking.

    “Did you get a look at him?”

    Sam shakes his head, his dreadlocks swinging.

    “Na, I didn't want to get too close to him.” This seems to bring another question to Theo's lips.

    “Is he only killing Vampires?” his brows furrow.

    Sam shifts and his aura turns a sickly greyish yellow. He's terrified.

    “No...He's killing any supernatural he comes across, it's like he's got some sort of vendetta towards us.”

    Theo nods his head, thinking, he palms some notes in his hand and then shakes Sam’s hand.

    “Call me if you hear anything else.”

    Sam nods, pocketing the notes. He nods towards me but I'm too shocked to register it. He turns and heads down the street, I half pay attention and see him disappear into a crowd down the street. I just stand staring as people walk by me. Theo brings me out of my trance, he puts his hand on my back, guiding me back into my building.

    Once in my apartment I regain control of myself. Theo is staring at me, waiting for me to say something.

    “So there's a Vampire hunter coming to Brooklyn? Seriously?” I'm struggling to deal with this. Was a Vampire careless? Or a werewolf? What's in Brooklyn that this guy is so desperate to get here? The thought worries me, I look at Theo, he shrugs.

    “Seems that way,” he looks away, thinking, I stare at him in shock. He's not worried? Wait it's Theo, why would he be. He looks down at me, his eyes dark, his face stern.

    “We need to leave.”

    “What?” is all I can say to him.

    “Well, I'd rather not see you killed by some hunter, you can leave with me.” This isn't an invitation. I glare at him and smirk.

    “I'm not leaving,” I scoff. He stares at me, his face dark. I square my shoulders, waiting for a fight.

    “Are you defying me Taliea?” He has a glint in his eyes, he's amused, but I'm far from amused.

    “I'm not going anywhere,” I say a little bit louder than normal. Let's how far he'll take this.

    He could make me leave; vampires are tied to their makers and have an everlasting bond. If he gives the command for me to leave i'll have no choice, I can't go against his will. The bond is only broken if a Maker release their Vampire, with Theo that'll never happen. I stand firm, waiting. He stares me down but eventually relaxes and holds his hands up, laughing.

    “Fine, I'll stay and watch the show,” his eyes trail down my body and back up to my face, “and make sure you don't get yourself killed.”

    I see a flicker of something in his eyes, but as fast as it came it's gone again. I relax a little and smile at him, he looks away though, his smile vanishing.

    “This hunter can't be human, surely?” He doesn't intend for there to be an answer to this, I answer him anyway.

    “You think he's a Vampire?” the thought sends shock waves through my body.

    A Vampire hunting other supernaturals? The thought shakes me to my core. He seems to read my mind when he replies.

    “Now that is an unsettling thought,” he scratches his chin, I can see this has him shaken too, although he hides it better than I do.

    I give myself a shake, ‘pull it together Taliea’, I think. I walk over to the window and look out at the Brooklyn skyline, Theo stands beside me.

    Ok, game on.

    If a Vampire hunter really is heading for Brooklyn i'll be ready.

    ‘let's see how you fair against my fangs!’

    End of part one.
     
    • Like Like x 5
    1. ×piperx
      Love this hope there is a follow up:thumbsup::kiss:
       
      ×piperx, Nov 4, 2015
      ChaoticDreamer26 and Norton X like this.
    #1
  2. Sybil_62

    Sybil_62 Porn Star

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    Well, well, well.

    That is a very good first story from a newb. I congratulate you in finding the site and taking the leap to write.

    Also warm welcome. You came in with a BANG.

    Epic story.

    Hopefully you will stay and write more and become an old pro like some of us here.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    1. Norton X
      When you said 'old', I knew you weren't referring to me, so thank you! :hilarious: :D
       
      Norton X, Oct 27, 2015
      mlc101n, luvsalik and Sybil_62 like this.
    #2
  3. ChaoticDreamer26

    ChaoticDreamer26 Porn Surfer

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    Thank you very much @Sybil_62!
    I aim to please!

    Hopefully I'll become a pro writer!
     
    • Like Like x 3
    1. Norton X
      Oh, it doesn't take much to become a pro writer. Just put that label in your sig and voila - you're a pro! :D

      Happy to see this story here. I'll be reading and commenting on it sometime today hopefully. :)
       
      Norton X, Oct 27, 2015
    2. luvsalik
      luvsalik, Oct 28, 2015
      mlc101n and Norton X like this.
    #3
  4. tonybs

    tonybs Porn Star

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    Wow, brilliant.

    I've said vampires arn't my thing, but this story worked for me. The story seduced me so I was on her side. I wanted her to feed, I wanted her to kill the frat boys. That's powerful writing. That also made the sex damn hot.

    The mechanics of being a vampire were very well done. You lost some of the less useful traits like mirrors and sunlight, which are really just allegory. That worked. She'd have been really annoyed if she couldn't use a mirror.

    Any problem I have with the story is only nitpicks. I might have complained it's only part of a story. But it told a complete story on its own. It set up for a sequel and left a few questions to be answered. i was thinking it was long enough and going onto the hunter story was unnecessary and it ended.

    Even more impressive for a newcomer. Welcome.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    1. tonybs
      I'll add, the best stories are ones which take you somewhere else. This one took me somewhere else inside of me.
       
      tonybs, Oct 27, 2015
    #4
  5. ChaoticDreamer26

    ChaoticDreamer26 Porn Surfer

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    Wow! Thank you!

    I must say I was apprehensive when I posted this story. I've never written anything that involved sex before so it was a big leap for me.
    Also I know how outdated and overused vampires are so was unsure how people would react to another vampire story.
    I'm so glad you like it.
    @tonybs
     
    • Like Like x 4
    1. luvsalik
      I don't think vampires can get out dated , classics never go out of style CD no worries on what the responses will be I think ! Well written is well written ! :)
       
      luvsalik, Oct 28, 2015
      ChaoticDreamer26 likes this.
    #5
  6. Redbeard1031

    Redbeard1031 Sex Machine

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    You would never know that this story was written by a newb. Once I began to read this I could not make myself stop until I reached the end. You have made me very afraid of the dark and those who dwell there. I am looking forward to the second part.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    1. luvsalik
      Totally agree Red ! :)
       
      luvsalik, Oct 28, 2015
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    #6
  7. tonybs

    tonybs Porn Star

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    Welcome to the club. I'd never written any sex before the last KAW, my "Day in the life"didn't have any. Then I started adding it where it moved the story along ("Dark Desires" is the result.) the sex fit perfectly in your story.

    I don't typically read vampire stories, so I don't know if you overused anything. What stood out for me was being the vampire. I sympathized with what should have been an unsympathetic character. I don't know if that's been done before. Maybe in books I've avoided. (Twighlight.)

    I remembered one of my nitpicks. Self descriptions with value judgements. It may be just me, but I think it's for other people to judge, not me. It puts me off a story when it starts like that.

    I was also less convinced that you could hide ten bodies just by staging an accident. In general being a vampire and leaving a trail of bodies should be unsustainable. But that would just spoil the story. You did try to address this point.
     
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    #7
  8. ChaoticDreamer26

    ChaoticDreamer26 Porn Surfer

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    I'm glad you liked it @Redbeard1031
    You should very much be afraid of things that dwell in the darkness.
    I look forward to you reading part two!
     
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    #8
  9. ChaoticDreamer26

    ChaoticDreamer26 Porn Surfer

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    @tonybs self discriptions with value judgments? Do you mean the way I've decried the characters? I'm unsure what you mean.
    Yes I spent a long time on that scene and staging an accident was the only way I could think of to dispose of 10 bodies. It was the only thing that I thought would stop suspicion arousing.
    Thanks for you feedback, much appreciated!
     
    • Like Like x 1
    1. tonybs
      Autocorrect? I assume you mean describe, not decried. (Good word decried.)
       
      tonybs, Oct 28, 2015
      ChaoticDreamer26 likes this.
    #9
  10. tonybs

    tonybs Porn Star

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    Rereading your story, you're not really guilty of it. When the narrator describes themselves in glowing positive terms.

    "satisfied by what I see."
    "perky C cup breasts"
     
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    #10
  11. ChaoticDreamer26

    ChaoticDreamer26 Porn Surfer

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    Ah I see what you mean @tonybs I just wanted to describe the characters in as much detail as possible. Also I kind of thought that Vampires would be vain because they're so beautiful to attract prey :p
     
    • Like Like x 2
    1. nadoknar2
      agreed, I would percieve Vampires as very vain as well.
       
      nadoknar2, Oct 28, 2015
      ChaoticDreamer26 and Norton X like this.
    #11
  12. ChaoticDreamer26

    ChaoticDreamer26 Porn Surfer

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    Haha yes I meant described, decried is a good word though @tonybs :D
     
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    #12
  13. luvsalik

    luvsalik Porn Star

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    SUCKED RIGHT IN !
    Wow, a slick, well written, easily read , gritty, erotically charged dark vampiric tale . I loved it !

    That's a vampire story !
    Right down my alley it was too . :)

    I would never have thought it was written by a new writer . It has style , flair, was very detailed and seamless written .

    I enjoyed the sex scenes I could tell a little you weren't too comfortable , though they were hot , and exciting , I personally would have liked a lit more detail in parts , especially the tornado effect sex with Theo , I was looking forward to that (damn ! ;) ) but that's just my personal needs :p

    I thought it was an exciting very adult vampire tale , I loved the descriptions you have a real talent for this and I'm looking forward to part 2 ! I didn't think that stopping there spoiled the story or my enjoyment of it , if anything I was clamouring for more .

    I didn't notice any mistakes , apart from not pluralising Sebastian's name once - "I prop my feet up on Sebastian thighs "
    Apart from that - nothing - fantastic !

    You transported me in to the story, the trait of a very good writer ! So much so I couldn't stop reading.

    It's so annoying trying to keep reading and twirling spaghetti at the same time ! Result of a hot story = cold spaghetti , !

    I could go on and on but I think you get the gist! And I've said enough already (too gobby by half :x3: :D)

    Thanks @ChaoticDreamer26 a very capable , smooth , highly entertaining story , it is a great entry , you're one to keep an eye on !

    Thanks for your time and effort , I enjoyed it immensely . Good luck ! Luvs xx
     
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  14. ChaoticDreamer26

    ChaoticDreamer26 Porn Surfer

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    Wow...Thank you so much!
    Praise isn't something I'm familiar with so it's overwhelming to here so many good things about my story :)
    I did fumble a little with the sex but I plowed through ;)
    I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
    I look forward to what you have to say about part two!
     
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    #14
  15. nadoknar2

    nadoknar2 Porn Star

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    great story and written well enough (I am not an editor is I don't get too worried by minor mistakes...lol) keep up the good work.

    I guess everyone has their own regards for what's good and what's not..... there are a few things that made me go 'hmm... not sure'...... but the bonfire scene wasn't one of them... lol..... but be encouraged and welcome to the story writers forum, looking forward to a Part Two as well
     
    • Like Like x 3
    1. nadoknar2
      and I am a 'goose' for not realising that you have 'already!!' written for the KAW.... silly me.... (a duh moment).....
       
      nadoknar2, Oct 28, 2015
      ChaoticDreamer26 and Norton X like this.
    #15
  16. ChaoticDreamer26

    ChaoticDreamer26 Porn Surfer

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    Thank you! @nadoknar2
    I'm glad you liked it :)
    I'm curious as to the parts you were unsure of :p
    I hope you like part two when it comes along!
     
    1. nadoknar2
      the parts I am unsure of would relate to how 'I' would regard vampires and 'their powers', and how they would differ to how 'you' would regard their powers..... so it is more a difference of 'my vampires and cooler then yours' kinda thing...... however, this is YOUR story and hence, these are vampires as you preceive them them to be so I don't have any complaints.... in fact I really enjoyed the way you described many of their powers in your story, the hypnotism, their speed and strength, and their self centred vanity (that, was great btw), it made them easier to relate to and helped the story 'flow' imo....

      just my opinion..... not right nor wrong... just different ;) and looking forward to seeing more of your writing, this and anything else you imagine xx xx
       
      nadoknar2, Oct 28, 2015
      ChaoticDreamer26 and Norton X like this.
    #16
  17. Norton X

    Norton X Oddball

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2013
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    17,092
    Wow! This story (part 1) blew me away. Bloody, sexy, absorbing tale. The writing was fantastic. Although it's in the supernatural genre, it was written more like a dark urban thriller. I noticed how the writer creates this realistic fantasy where vampires aren't affected by silver or hurt by sunlight, merely weakened by the latter. And they even work together with werewolves. And the one who they fear most, the creature of their nightmares, is a vampire hunter! Awesome!

    The other details such as vampire feeding and hunting methods, along with how their fangs and other aspects of their anatomy and abilities work were excellently done. I really liked the descriptions of the characters and settings, the sights and sounds. Let's not forget the super hot sex action! Yes! The author really puts the reader there in the story - that's great writing.

    Another detail I noticed and appreciate is the way Taliea becomes the bait in the hunt, while uncertain if she's playing an eighteen year old girl right or not, because she's been not-eighteen for a long while. That's realistic. Put yourself in the shoes of a vampire and think of all the learning and adapting they have to do in order to survive. This is what it would be like.

    I feel like this story could and probably should be made into a movie. If not a major motion picture, then at least a TV movie. It felt like I was reading something written by Laurell K. Hamilton or Rachel Vincent. Impressive stuff, Chaotic Dreamer.
     
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    #17
  18. ChaoticDreamer26

    ChaoticDreamer26 Porn Surfer

    Joined:
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    I see what you mean @nadoknar2 :) I will hopefully continue to write more and post stuff up!
     
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    #18
  19. ChaoticDreamer26

    ChaoticDreamer26 Porn Surfer

    Joined:
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    Wow...I honestly don't know what to say @Norton X
    Thank you so much!
    I'm so glad you enjoyed it and I can't believe you can see it being made into a movie! :D
    I honestly don't know what else to say but thank you for all of your praise!
    I appreciate it so much!
     
    • Like Like x 2
    1. Norton X
      You're welcome.
       
      Norton X, Oct 29, 2015
      ChaoticDreamer26 likes this.
    #19
  20. 1 Toy Maker

    1 Toy Maker Kuns og Kram Smukke Love once found never lost

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2013
    Messages:
    28,189
    I'm no literatury critic but I know that was good, it drew the reader in and held them there. The only thing I didn't like was the sex. With that kind of written I look forward to being entertained by you in the future.

    Thank you Chaotic.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    1. Norton X
      You don't like sex? :wideyed: Like, never? Ever? Forever? :confused: :wacky: :hilarious: :D
       
      Norton X, Nov 3, 2015
    #20