Simple idea: take a nursery rhyme and fuck around with it a little. It doesn't have to be decadent or dirty, if you have an interesting twist on a popular nursery rhyme, post it! :excited:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a dick
But things, they got out of hand pretty quick
When cottaging horses and cottaging men
Pounded his egghole, again and again.

 

Peter, Peter, Pussy eater
Had a wife and loved to please her
With his tongue and with his pole
He violated every hole...

 

Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep,
And can't tell where to find them;
A welshman had come, and taken them home,
So he could take his time to defile them.

 

Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Pounding his meat with glee
He squeezed with his thumb
And buckets of cum
Covered his thigh to his knee
:excited:

 

jack and jill went up a hill they each took a quarter,
jill came down with fifty cents, did they really go for water?

 

Mary, Mary quite contrary
How do you make a cock grow?
With some spit in my fist
And a jerk of my wrist
Then between my lips it will go

 

Mary had a little pig,
She couldn't stop it gruntin'
She took it down the garden path,
and kicked it's little C*** in.

Mary had a little lamd,
suddenly it fell dead
and now it goes to school with her,
between to hunks of bread.

 

Some of those are fantastic :L

Little Miss Muffet
Who sat on a tuffet
Got real drunk and easy one day
Along came a spider
And put it inside her
So the law came and took him away

 

mary had a little pig,
she kept it fat and plastered,
and when the price of pork went up,
she shot the little bastard

 

LOL! Omg poor lamb

 

You guys are tooooooo funny.....love the "little lamb" one Mitch!!!
Diddle diddle Dumpling
My last John
Bent me o'er the bed
With my stockings on
Fucked me hard
And then was gone
Diddle diddle Dumpling
My last John

 

cleanin it up a little

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a compulsive liar
He wasn't a bear, but a bengal tiger
And if you believe he had no hair
You're gullible beyond compare

 

Mary had a little Lamb
Its Fleece as white as snow,
Turned out mary was alergic to wool,
so the lamb just had to go

 

A dyslexic farmer had a dog,
and Bingo was its name-o
B-N-G-I-O...B-N-G-I-O
B-N-G-I-O....
and Bingo was it's name-o

 

Little Jack Horner,
sat in the corner,
eating his apple pie,
he put in his thumb,
and pulled out a plum,
and thought....What the fuck is a plum doing in my apple pie?

 

Ding Dong Bell
My pussy hurts like hell

He put it in
With an evil grin

Then pulled it out
That, made me pout

What a nasty man was he
To pound it that hard into me

When all I asked for was a fuck
Now I waddle like a duck

 

jack and jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana,
jack got high unzipped his fly and said "hey jill, ya wanna?"

 

One two three four five
Make my pecker come alive
Six seven eight nine ten
When I come it will deflate again

 

hickory dickory dock
Your chick was on my cock
I pulled her down turned her around
Now she sells my rocks.

 

Miss Mary Mac,Mac,Mac
All Dressed in black,black,black
With a Silver gun,gun,gun
Killed some one,one,one
Behind her back,back,back
For some money,money,money
She went to see some strippers,strippers,strippers
They danced around the pole,pole,pole
They danced while high,high,high
They got arrested,arrested,arrested
They never came back, back, back
Until the 4th of July July July