I have been married to my husband two years now. Our relationship started off rocky (prior to marriage). He cheated numerous times with his ex. He was always out living what I call 'the single life'. Since we got married he has been well behaved. I have caught him texting people he works with that are females.. But the conversations aren't really inappropriate.

My question is... Does marriage really change if you cheat or not? Or is it like the saying goes 'once a cheater always a cheater'

Just wanting a mans perspective. I'm not saying hes up to no good now, and Im not saying I dont trust him now. Just asking for an outside perspective.

 

Hard to say

I am and have always been a person who is addicted to sex. If I am not getting what I need I will get it somewhere. That's why my wife and I are swingers. I have never cheated on her nor do I need to, I get to have sex with others. But if I was not able to do that then I probably would have by now.

 

Speaking from experience, I would say once a cheater always a cheater.

 

For me, marriage seemed to exacerbate my urges to stray. I have never cheated on my wife but, I think it was the finality of it all. The fact that I was only going to be with one person for the rest of my life scared me a bit and I think it played with my head. That being said, I believe that if he's cheated before he'll do it again. I hope for your sake he's not. But, I feel like you might be asking a question for which you already have an answer. Marriage is a ton of work, as I'm sure you're already aware. As long as the both of you are willing to work together you can over come this.

Good luck!

 

Bingo! If he cheated when he was trying to win your heart, and you married him anyway, what's to stop him now? The vows? It sounds like he doesn't respect you.

You two need to have an honest discussion. If he really is innocent now but his past actions make you suspicious, that's a problem. Tell him your suspicions and fears. If he doesn't want to talk about them, that's a sign of bad things to come.

 

Maybe he is fulfilling a need that you are not satisfying. Do you have inappropriate text conversations with him?

Fuck him senseless everyday and keep the lines of communication open.

Good Luck.

Thinskin

 

Everyones' experience is different but, I would say the odds are not that great that things have changed. Most folks that enter a marriage expecting things to change for the better are very disappointed. Especially when it comes to infidelity.

Good luck!

 

Thanks for the input guys!

I was just wondering if the fact that you are married would sway your decision knowing that it could end in divorce if you got caught?

He cheated when we first started talking and hooking up. Then came clean and said that once we became "serious" he would never stray. In a way I believe him. But I can never forget what I caught. And if he is actually behaving I feel bad for second guessing him sometimes. And yes we have had a conversation about this. But its kinda redundant. I should just let it go. But I still wonder.... I think that's normal.

 

"Once a Cheater is a Myth!"

No it's not once is always? The choice to cheat is driven by many variables that are too detailed to explain, you most certainly have reasons and should address them immediately in a tone that's non accusing. His honesty is a choice and defensiveness is never a good sign so I hope he can at least put your mind at ease?

 

When you buy a pair of shoes, don't you try them on before you buy them? You guys weren't married. Maybe he was making sure that you guys were a good fit before making a decision. Your the one he chose. For the texting. Maybe he just wants to know he's still in the game. A little flirting to boost the ego. Trust is a must. Once it's broken that's when you have to start worrying.

 

There are a few factors that may have been over looked.

If the relationship is at the same stage of commitment last time someone cheated, I think they would be likely to do it again. In this case it sounds like he cheated before the marriage. Was there already an engagement. Not saying it makes him free and clear for what he did but he may have gone out for that one last go at it before popping the question or saying I do.

Thats my thoughts anyway. This coming from a divorced man due to her cheating and now happily married again.

 

You knew what you were getting before you got married.
If you expect or want anything different you should get rid of him and find someone who thinks the way you do.

 

Just my opinion but a sexual indiscretion is not worth getting divorced over. If love is involved then that is another matter.

You need to let go and share some nasty sex with hubby and let a few fantasies out in the open. If he is cheating then it is because he is looking for something. Something that you may be able to provide.

Good luck.

Thinskin

 

I have always been out and about before we got married but my wife was a virgin. I even had sex with her sister before we got married and after and still fuck as many married women as I can when I can. I am not a good looking man but some of my friend and myself have been lucky with married women as we do not have sex with singles too often. As to your question I would love it if my wife would have sex with other men but she will not and she knows I want her too as I have told her I would love her too do it but she is not open too the idea as she is a major prude and supper religious. She will not take birth control and too be honest if she was to get pregnant by another man I would not mind and I would be happy to be there to see him breed her and I would love to eat her creampie after he fucked her. My thought is it depends on the woman as many married women here cheat when their husbands go away for long times and it is easy to find them and some are not as easy but married women are much more fun to me then single women as they have a life of their own as well and just want the sex as well and sometimes even the husbands are open to being there and you get lucky and can do a MMF

 

Prior to getting married, I've experienced various things with approx. 300 (three hundred) girls/women!...
In spite of this, after getting married for the first time, I have NEVER cheated on her!...
With my second, there was a "little" problem, since, when I've met her, she was still a virgin, and has continued to stay like that for approx. three months.
In spite of falling in love with her, I have not restrained myself from having sex with some women - but, it has been only sex!...
After "solving" my wife's "problem", nice and easy, I've reduced the number of the other women to... zero!
I cannot tell that I've never cheated on my wife, whom I do love very much even now, after 30 years, but, be absolutely sure that I've done it in such a "clever" manner, that she has never been put into an embarrassing position, or stuff!...
It's a matter of decency, respect, stuff...
Now, at 55, I consider myself much too old, and a serious person, to... go astray...
But... this is my very personal choice!

 

I have been married for almost 18 years. Before we got married, I cheated several times. After we were married, I was faithful for fifteen years. During our marriage, my wife had an emotional affair, and at least one long term affair...I only started cheating again after all this happened. Though during that time, I did watch porn and chat with a few people online from time to time....but she chatted online during all that time as well.

What I find to be the best thing is having an open communication between us. Over the last 6 months, we have been very open with each other...I have told her things that I never thought I would, and things I thought she would be upset or disgusted by, yet she wasn't....and our sex lives have been better than ever since we have opened up and started talking to each other about our sexual thoughts and feelings. Knowing what we both want makes a very big difference, rather than hiding certain things and feelings...

 

Im not saying that a leopard cant change its spots and perhaps he decded that what he really wanted was you and that marriage has made him think that he wants to his old womanising life behind him...

Unless there is proper evidence that he has been unfaithful then you really ought to be concentrating on working on a really great marriage rather than worrying about him cheating,

 

Well before I was married, I cheated on everything. As long as u give him enough pussy and not be boring giving it to him ur good.

 

Hi

No being married doesn't change you if he cheated once he will do it again if he wants to