There are comments on this forum about a sex partner not wanting to engage in a certain activity. We are advised to respect those feelings and to not pressure the person into doing something they don't like. However, we do grow and change. Some things become ok to do, others fade in our desire.

The question here is:
- Have you ever reversed your opinion of any sexual activity? Have you gone from refusing a sexual activity to performing it and maybe even liking it? Or is there a sexual activity that you used to enjoy and now don't want to be a part of?
- What caused this change?

If your sex partner has had a reversal of opinion and now does something they used to not do, or has stopped liking an activity they used to enjoy, please describe.

 

Going down on another woman.
Years ago, there's no way I would have done it but Kevin kind of eased me into it and now, although it's not something I'm into I'm not repulsed by it.
It's not something I look for but it's not a no fly zone.

 

For the longest time, my wife would not let me give her oral pleasures. She was too embarrassed about her pussy, and she didn't want me to have my face right there in it where I could see it in every detail. She also had some bad experiences when she was real young where apparently someone else forced her to suck their cock, but it is unclear as to who that was. In any case, she always had a bad opinion of oral sex. A few years back, she finally let me start licking her pussy, and has gotten to the point where she not not only accepts it, but really desires it when we have sex. This has been a reversal for her, going from being ashamed of me getting my face hear her pussy to actually asking me to lick her and suck on her clit... In more recent times, she has started having more pain when we have sex, so she would rather not have sex at all. This has made things disappointing for me, but we are trying to work through that.

As for as I go, I have always been willing to do just about anything to please her, and there has never been anything that she would ask for that I wouldn't do for her. At this point, I am still very open to try anything at least once if she thinks it might help her enjoy sex again, so I'm not sure I can explain what caused the changes in her, I just know that I'm not complaining about them (other than that I would rather she would try sex more often...)...

 

Two good honest and real replies above.

I'm going to add to this:
My wife would give wonderful blowjobs, but would always pull off of me immediately before I orgasmed. She did not want me to cum in her mouth. Frustrating - only because a man's cock wants to be fully buried in something pliable, slippery and tight at that moment, and a little sucking action is a bonus. I wanted that to change so I started going down on her after I came inside her. It was a simple and pleasurable demonstration showing that it was ok to have all that cum inside my mouth. I made no ugly faces, no spitting, no jumping up to rinse my mouth, etc. My tongue was her warm washcloth. She was not immediately cooperative, but came to know that it was something I enjoyed doing to her.

It was only after licking her clean many times that I asked her to stay on me until I was finished. She did, once. It was new to her and she was 100% noncommittal. But her letting me cum inside her mouth and behind her encircling lips became the norm. I could see her attitude change from wariness to acceptance. I'm sure the high intensity level of the orgasm she was causing was unmistakable. After about a year her acceptance evolved into desire. The last blowjob she gave me (and the genesis of this thread) was the best one ever. It was an impromptu blowjob, I didn't see it coming. I was in a position where I couldn't move. It was all her. She just started and didn't quit until I jizzed, buried to the balls inside a very enthusiastic mouth. Afterwards she told me "I just wanted to do that." A small point in our overall sex life, but an improvement that we both enjoy.

 

Deep thrusting. I was made do it and hated every millisecond of it. Years later the ability to do it has been beneficial to me. Nothing makes a man melt more.

 

Excellent question notdescriptive but I have a houseful at the moment but will think and respond tomorrow!

Thinskin

 

I would have never thought that slow thrusting could be so intense over hammering away and it drives the sex so much further, except at the orgasm wich she requires that hammer down!!

 

Unfortunately the slow cuddly sex still gives me the creeps.

 

Lol

 

What do you prefer x

 

The not cuddly romantic kind. I had an abusive partner that would do all manner of things but at the end he wanted to cuddle. All I wanted to do was get the hell out of his reach. To this day anyone who holds me for longer than a hug sees a rude side of me.

 

Is understandable x

 

I've found that just being around open minded people opens my mind to new things. I've done a lot of stuff that, at first, I would not have considered.

I've found that a gentle touch can eventually open people up to many fun things.

 

Unfortunately giving blowjobs, used to love doing it cause it gave me a feeling of power or dominance over the person, not in an aggressive way - but that I could please them as I did, I liked that I could seem to quickly figure out what worked and didn't work for the guy. But after an unfortunate experience it now just reminds me of that, and makes me feel like a piece of shit - I feel guilt or shame where I otherwise shouldn't.

As for positive changes, I used to hate receiving oral sex, mostly due to the general jokes I noticed that seemed to go around between men that pussy smelt bad and it was a bit of an unspoken thing to do (as opposed to giving blowjobs, which people always seemed to talk about openly). This in turn made me self conscious of my genital area, so I could never enjoy it if anyone went down on me. But, strangely enough, after going down on a woman myself I realized all these fears were largely unfounded and more or less bullshit, so now I love it (if the person knows what they're doing!)

 

I'm not even sure how to respond to this question in that my entire sexual being, every aspect from the most minimal or seemingly inconsequential aspect, to how I view ALL sex acts even masturbation, to how I enjoy sexual activity from simple things to extreme kinks, even the emotional aspects right down to love all made a 180° change when I met my Husband.

In fact, there is only one aspect of my sexuality that made no change past perhaps finally accepting it without reservation in that until 30 some of those experiences regarding that aspect were the only positive ones I knew of, and in fact even opened up my heart and mind enough to allow me to meet my Husband. That aspect however is too deviant for most here. Yet it works for me so I enjoy it sparingly.

It's hard to explain. How do you explain hating everyone to extreme degrees, especially yourself, to then have that shift to really enjoying and appreciating everyone except the most malicious? How do you explain hating all aspects of sex, even masturbation to then embracing it as a 24/7 focus of your life? How do you explain having dreamed of death being your only release, yet then dream of a full life as your salvation?

It really was an all encompassing change be it physical, mental or emotional...Literally everything. The best I can offer is, ask me a question here regarding some specific form of sexuality or sex act, and I'll try to answer regarding it in detail to give you some idea.

Hush....an alias

 

Sounds like you had an epiphany courtesy of your hubby??

I too had an epiphany some twenty years ago that changed my perspective on everything!

BBS!

thinskin

 

Both of those explanations beg for more.
- For Hush it sounds like the personal change in outlook and understanding of life is what needs explained. Anything that powerful - needs explained, not any specific sex act (and I wouldn't know where to begin to ask).
- For Thin Skin what "gradual re-education" changed your life for the better. That sounds like important education to overcome PTSD.

Forums tell us things we never knew.

 

Sorry, but I don't have the time nor does anyone here have the patience to read all that occurred to change my mindset from a negative one, to one positive. Simply know that it took a man with infinite wisdom, patience and understanding that realized it all had to be my choice, and whether I chose it or not, didn't change his opinion of me, accepting me for who I was no matter what. Never once was anything pushed on me, it was (everything, the world) made available to me if I wanted it.

Most of all his undying love with no judgments.

Hush....an alias

 

I've seen "whole attitude to life change" with others (alcoholics, fundamentalist recovery), and not just about sex. I've read about peak, transformative spiritual experiences like that too. Cool. I had to quote how she captured the essenses in a couple of sentences.

 

I didn't hate, but didn't trust either. Sex turned into something that just happened. I enjoyed it but I wasn't controlling it or even making decisions. It was a while before I was really doing it for me.