We all find different things a turn on, as we all find things a turn off or just plain wrong.

it is more than what we find atractive in a person like hair colour etc or poses, what someone wears, caries themselves or the aura someone gives out, but what way we swing, and what acts we find a turn on, would try.

What makes us tick. Is it how we are brought up, is it a pre disposition in our brain or maybe experiences we have.

I was brought up in a very right wing christian family and am adopted, I have some way out fetishes, and think very differntly to the rest of the family. one of my brothers was abused as a child, he is gay and also has some strange fantasies, and we are both very open about our sexuality. My other brother is straight as a die, is not open, and for all intents is pretty striaght as far as his sex life goes.

based on that I would say it is a little of all of it that makes you tick, but then I cant point to anything that changed how a feel in my life that would explain what I like

the other thing that baffles me is the general population is not open about sexuality here in australia, I am not sure about the US, but from the people I have talked to europe is generally more open.

surely sex crimes can be better tackled if there is openess about it?

It is an interesting discussion that I have had with lots of people, I would be interested to hear everyones thoughts

cheers

Tiny

 

I feel bad that I can't answer this right now ... but it's a little too heavy for me at this time. I'll see if I can address it tomorrow!

 

I think you have encapsulated the problem as well as can be expressed by a non professional therapist etc. as to what makes us inclined to certain tastes etc. And why does one member of the same family end out so completely different etc. if indeed influence is such a major factor? (which I tend to doubt personally.) However it also leaves us with the question of "spirit" and here, I'm afraid is a thorny issue I'm not sure will do any good to mention.

So in short, I'm sure you're correct in your thinking, and although difficult, I'm sure its an issue worth contemplating and studying.

Here's something I can add that may interest you.

I'm also an Australian and from a very moral, not unusual family, and yet I believe Australia of my younger years was far more repressed than it may have been realized by us.

I did eventually escape to Holland due to my carnivorous appetite for the extreme porn niche of bestiality. This is how I would describe the attitude in Holland (eu) compared to Aussie culture, (an may I add, I was told the same thing by one of the USA's top writers of beast porn from the sixties, who was figuratively crucified by his gov. and ran off to Denmark)
The most refreshing thing about Holland over AU is that there.. YOU are much more truly responsible for your actions. Hence you are more of an ADULT!

e.g. See that sign on the public play park? We're not responsible if your kid falls to his death if he climbs this thing?!

You better believe they mean that shit in Holland! Not like AU with its ..Oh dear me.. YOU can't be responsible for your own fucking stupidity if your kid plunged to his death from a public structure.. there MUST be someone else you can blame.. NOW.. to my thinking this is a fools paradise.. because as soon as we agree WE are not responsible, WE cease to be an adult and become a baby wrapped in cotton wool. This is the problem for AU and I suspect USA also.. (think Michael Jackson as a great example.. lets NEVER grow up.. I didn't do it.. it was dolly!.. reeee)

Holland IS a moral country BTW.. Its just that if you want to smoke dope.. ok.. you CAN.. BUT if you do it to much and die in the gutter.. well.. YOU are a fucking tosser and have no one else to blame! Don't like the XXX on Dutch regular free to air TV? Ok.. turn the channel.. same with the "filth" on the radio there.. In AU we'd close down the radio station that said the shit Dutch radio says all day long. they don't, because its up to you more to govern yourself because the Dutch gov. tend to think you are a competent person in that regard. And allow me to say, as a very adult person, BRAVO Holland..I found it very refreshing to live around such opion.

So here's how I think this affects your last point about sex crimes and openness.

Its my most contentious statement: If you (govs, etc.) allow more sex to be accepted, it lessens the interest in it!

This is why Holland (16,000,000 peeps) has legal bestiality and yet only a very few folk in Holland join bestiality membership websites on a per-capita basis.

SO .. who does buy bestiality porn?

The USA is #1, England is 2nd, and AU with only 20,000,000 people is like #4 in the whole world.. THINK about that.. my explanation is that in the USA and AU we the people, are restricted for this stuff, ..so therefore it gains a kind of glamour it really doesn't deserve.. when in fact if it were commonly accepted as in Holland etc.. most people will just look and think..ewww.. yuck.. next!

Same as pot in Holland. The majority of Dutch I spoke to, felt pot is a low class legal drug for losers.. yet in AU.. where its illegal.. Oooooooooo I smoke pot..cool.. its better than (legal) beer, coz that's for losers! anyway.. I hope I'm making some sense or at least food for thought.

 

You will find no easy answer here because what makes us tick is as complex as the human psyche itself. And even if we believe we operate from our conscious mind there is abundant evidence that humans actually function a great deal of the time through unconscious motivations. That means that much of the time we might think we know what we are doing but we really don’t know why.
Here is an example I’ve seen in my own realm of experience. I live in area and work in an occupation where racism and poor parenting skills are fairly common. I also live in an area with very few black people. Yet I also know of at least three very racist fathers who have daughters that are extremely attracted to black men. Is this just a random attraction of actually an unconscious motivation on the part of daughters who felt neglected or unloved by their fathers. If you ask these girls it is just a simple attraction or preference but statistically it appears to happen far too frequently to be a random occurrence.
Added to that is the power of suggestion, the desire to fit in, the desire to emulate, and the variables of perception. This in my experience was exemplified with the resurgence of tattoos, which were very popular with my father’s generation and unpopular with my generation but extremely popular in my children’s generation. When my daughter decided she wanted a tattoo and I asked her why she said she wanted something that marked her as an individual. I suggested then in that case she shouldn’t get tattoos or body piercing because everybody was getting them. But I really didn’t try to talk her out of it anymore than I would have let anyone talk me out of stating my non-conformity when I let my hair grow long in the sixties.
It is a much larger issue than just nature vs nurture. And in terms of human sexuality it is also a dynamic process. I would bet that no matter what you think are your turn-ons at this stage of your life they will change or at least fluctuate over time. The best we can do is come to know ourselves and the only way to do that is to be willing to question ourselves while keeping an open mind about everyone and everything else.
That certainly includes asking the bigger questions like what makes us tick as long as we also understand and accept that Everything we Know is (probably) Wrong, like Sir Chunky used to say.

 

wow i really wanted to say sumthing onthis subject but im way to tired to read all that

 

long hair

guess I was late, stumbler, didn't grow mine long till 1972.

 

Um....I dunno, I just love to fuck.

 

Ditto

 

Why we are what we are

Climbing up on my soapbox. NO, I think I'll go into the Pulpit. Starting this, I warn you it may be long or it may be short, right now I don't know.

Fellow actors in the play known as Earth: I honestly believe, from experience, and as can be surmised from the posts previous, which are absolutely well thought out excellent presentations, THAT our basic personal, likes and dislikes etc. are inherent in us from birth, but may be modified by experience.

For instance Tonya of Tonyaworld, her shemale site, in her biography says:

"I have known since I was three years old that I was a girl"

You can always see siblings that even though raised in the same environment are total opposites. Anyone who has studied astrology seriously, will agree that WHEN you are born definitely colors a lot of your personality. I have done so many charts that bear this out, that I am hardly ever surprised anymore when they turn out to be true.

I did one for my 82 year-old friend a number of years ago, (I loved her like a mother, for thre 5 years before she left us) and when I presented it to her, I said: "I don't believe this, it says you are a compulsive gambler."

Whereupon she said: "That's right, I am," and proceeded to regal me with the tale of her gambling. Over the 5 years I knew her, she would spend everything she had available every month, and borrow every month $300 per month, spent all her $5000 in savings, and said, I only live for gambling. She only played slots and bingo, mostly slots. One year she won $10,000 on one pull, and I think she believed she would do it again.

When she died her twin sons were shocked to find that out. I think they were disappointed that she hadn't left the $5000 for them.

Another case in point: My 11 years roommate,(No sex, dammit, just nude backrubs (for her)) had on her chart, she would be much better off financially in the last half of her life. Man did that come true. She worked only temp jobs while I knew her. And I fell in love with her on the one where I worked. The only date I had that lasted 9 months. She never paid me any rent on the places we stayed, and the first one we got evicted because she refused to pay when her turn came. She left for Alaska after getting a year's lump sum social security disability payment because of an assault by a store's security person, when he thought she was putting merchandise in her purse, when she was only comparing labels on health food supplements she already had with what they had. He twisted her arm so forcibly that she was unable to work for 14 months. She took the money and went to Alaska, married an engineer, and when his mother died two years later, she left them two million dollars. I originally had doubts about that chart, too.

So it seems that we come into this world with a whole lot of predetermined characteristics. The psychiatrists that have done deep regressions, such as the book LIFE BETWEEN LIVES, found that the person's true entity, which isn't here in this multi-verse, but is in the other (I really shouldn't say--THE other, for apparently there are many, but it is the one closest to this one in some sense) actually previews and plans the next life. However, in all such discourses, there is a maxim that: Accidents can happen---Murphy's Law, Anyone? Also, one author stated that when we incarnate, we allow ourselves 8 (Why eight?) possible exits from this life earlier than the natural ending.

Amen, Thank your brothers and sisters in sex, May the peace of all be with you. Service Ending. Thank the Gods, wherever, whatever, they may be, but I really don't think they or it requires our thanks or worship to salve its or their ego.

 

What We Are

Boy, I bet that sermon pissed everybody off, now I'll probably be blocked on everyone's profile. But I can tell, that will mean I am ignored when I make a ripostal comment.

 

I don't see it should piss anybody off that you suggest you acknowledge a difficult proposition. There are indefinable things happening beyond our control, yet able to shape our lives, and why not our tastes in this life? Only the ignorant, even if they think themselves 'level headed', will have the greatest trouble to admit this possibility.

 

hmmmm, my post was more about discuson that finding an answer, I think we dont know enough about ourselves to answer the real question, but it is an interesting topic to think about.

I worked with a bloke who spent some time in holland, and then some time after worked with a bloke who was born there and moved over here with is ex wife when he was about 30

The bloke who spent some time there raved about about the veiws and attitude of the dutch people, to some degree with respect yet also in awe or jelously. the attitude was I went I did and I had fun.

The bloke who was born there however had a totaly different outlook on life, sexuality was much more open as was many other subject we in a typical aussie mindset would see as taboo (not me) The workplace had a few casual employees and 4 of us were full time, one gay guy, the bloke from holland, myself and an australian born asian girl.

the three of us had some fantastic discussion late into the night, yet the girl would just go red and move on, and there in lies the problem with the culture. If we are unable to openly discuss a problem, then how to we address and or combat issues like child abuse? given my brother was abused as a child, this is something I feel is important. i think our respective cultures need to be open to truly combat the issues.

NOW moving back to our sexual predisposition (that what I think it is) I absolutly beleive that we are born with a thing in our brain that dictates what we may like, it goes further than suxual attraction and or fetishes. what colour we like, what food we like the taste of etc.

given that predisposition we then fine tune our fantasies based on what may be veiwed by our culture as taboo or otherwise.

Now I dont get of on beastiality, yet I cant see a problem if those involved consent, same with say incest, if both sides are af age and consent, how can we legislate this is wrong?

I dont think we can find an answer, I am not sure out minds could fathom it, but it is certainly an interesting discusion

 

I became aware of some research last year (sorry can't remember exactly where to give a link) which suggested that our fundamental sexuality, on a sliding scale from hetero to homosexuality, depended on the levels of testosterone that the developing baby is exposed to in utero.

If this is so, then our primary sexuality has already been decided before we are born.

I always understood that fetishistic tendencies came about as a result of early sexual experience with a stimulus which may or may not be directly sexual!

The most common fetish - almost to the point of being a cliche - is an attraction to schoolgirls.
If you consider what percentage of the male population will have had their first sexual experience with such a girl, then it is hardly surprising.
Perhaps this also holds true for other sexual tastes.

Just an idea to chew over......

 

Twinning

Recall the study of twins, raised in separate homes, never in contact until well into adulthood or not at all, except both interviewed by the same person.

They determined that genetic determination (or astral determination?) had made them do the same things:

1.Same pet names, and animals
2.Same wives names
3. Same kid's names
4.Same brand of cigarettes
5. Same manerisms
6. Same figures of speech

more I think. I saw the same sort of thing in my son and his uncle on my wife's side. Once I had met his uncle, when my son was about 9, I saw that 1.my son used the same phrases his uncle did
2.they used the same body language.
3.they spoke in the same manner
They had never met. This blew me away, he was more his Uncle's son than mine in many respects.

 

Twins studies do demonstrate that identical twins share some inherited, genetic traits. But they also show that twins seperated at birth exhibit many behavioral differences, and have very different fates (so much for astrology).

It seems very clear that both nature and nurture are involved in determining the pattern of a person's life.

 

Offer not still open is it?

 

It's always open, luv!

 

Blimey guv you sound like a cockney!

 

Cor, you're a cheeky gent, ain'tcha!

 

Cheeky - oh yes

Gent - well i'll give you a quick hug afterwards if that counts?

Oh and I promise not to wipe me dick clean on your curtains or duvet!