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  1. Hush

    Hush Happy Hhedonist

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2008
    Messages:
    13,049
    Okay so I have thought long and hard about this. You may also note that I typically don't offer up techniques to help make a woman orgasm like I do for men. Oh, I might suggest trying this or that, yet typically not the whole shebang... for a reason.

    So I thought about this one a lot, and not meaning to toot my own horn, I believe I'm an excellent source for this answer. Not because I'm the ideal lover for women, but because unlike many women I tend to have sex more like most men do "style" wise, technique a whole other thing. So I have the pieces parts, I know what works for me, and I know what works with many other women. Not just one or two, yet many hundreds conservatively that I have helped to achieve orgasm in one form or another.

    Bluntly, if I put my hands on or "grab" (ala Trump) a woman by her coochie, she's going to cum. That's why my hand is there, I didn't put it there to tease or because I'm curious, I put it there because I intend on making her orgasm. Granted, I may do it as a precursor to something else, yet if not by my hand then that something else will have her cumming. That's why I'm there, that's why she's letting me be there, so that's what we intend on happening. Petting, cooing, snuggling and gentle lovemaking for hours with no intention of either of us cumming is just not my thing. So I'm a dude trapped in an old woman's body ;)

    In any case as said I thought about it a lot. The more I considered various techniques the more muddled it became. Things like little circles with one finger, two, three, all of them... Fanning sideways, up and down... Where to touch (in that sensitivity or lack of can be an issue)... Then there is jerking their clit like a cock... Flicking it with up strokes... Outer labia involvement, inner labia involvement, perineum attention, even urethral attention, and then there are the glands you can apply pressure to... and lets not forget penetration... etc., etc., etc..

    The problem was, with this massive bag of tricks I had to narrow it down to "A" Universal Technique. So, I then considered a number of gals I play with regularly. To keep it simple I thought on roughly 50 of them, what they liked, how to start, what to do, how to end with each of them... and finally I figured it out! My conclusion being;

    Wymens is all fucked up cuz they can't all agree on one thing that works. In fact, the same woman throughout a day will change what she'd like and how numerous times. Hell, they might even change what they want right in the middle of it! Oh sure, when they're jilling themselves off then it is the same ol' same ol' this is what works so go with it... But when it comes to someone else doing it, then all sorts of conditions and criteria comes into play. Stupid stuff like moods, this person or that, what they have on their mind, and what they imagined when they considered you doing this very thing, and countless other variables.

    So, common sense, techniques, skills, and heck, even knowing the gal intimately does not insure you'll get it right. In fact, it pretty much means it's a 100:1 shot, and that's with your gal, the one you have done this with a gazillion times. So, here's all I got...

    First and foremost, the more familiar you are with the woman, the better chance you have of finding that magic combination. Naturally, that assumes that your relationship is good in that if it is not, even at just that moment, it can result in "why don't you just fuck me?" (meaning, she wants you to hurry up and get off so you'll get off her) to "get the fuck off me!" That response I think you all can figure out on your own.

    The better you know her, her reactions, hints and cues, the better you can manipulate her body to reach that end. Now I don't totally want to discount spontaneous encounters with new people. That level of excitement can really compensate for form (or in contrast really hurt the result), yet all in all the better you know your partner the better it will work out.

    Jilling her off ain't just about her coochie... With men it is simple (yeah-yeah, you never came from a hand-job *cough* bullshit!). Kneel down in front of them, slap some oil or cornstarch/talc in your hand, grab their dick and balls and get to it. Oh sure, a great hand-job requires more, yet most of that is just the buildup to get them to want to desperately cum.

    Now I learned this about men after about the gazillionth dick I jerked... Unfortunately with gals I tended to apply the same degree of effort, so though it worked out most times it was only because of that wild encounter thing I mentioned above. So I'd grab em, stick my hands down their pants and go to town. That was all good and fine in the bar, yet if I took them to my room (speaking of years ago), not so much.

    What I learned is that though your goal may be to jill them off, it almost has to come off as a secondary act, or perhaps call it a "sneak attack" if you must. The best way in my opinion to do this is with your lips. Yet here is where I have trouble.

    To me kissing someone on the mouth is the most intimate act I can ever do. Stick your dick or fingers in me anywhere, rub coochie juice or shoot cum all over me, whatever, and none of it compares to kissing on the lips. In fact, pinning me down and kissing me on the lips is a 100x worse than being forcefully violated in other ways. So in my world, that means that maybe 20 people all told get little closed mouth pecks, and a whopping three get intimate sensual open mouth kisses. My Husband, Kathy, and just of late Tanya (and rarely Shiela). Regarding this topic my Husband doesn't fit, Kathy and I don't do lovey-dovey unless it is her doing me, so that means I'll speak of Tanya.

    When I get an urge and want to jill-off Tanya when we're in bed, I'll start by sensually kissing her. We grind a little and so on, yet eventually AS we continue kissing my hand will slide down over her body to her cunnie, and I will continue kissing her on the lips, neck, ears, and under her chin until she cums... Typically when I'm back on her mouth.

    If I don't do that? Well then it will take twice as long to get her to cum, and that's if I don't just give up and move on to other things. With other women just like I said above it means knowing them. So, maybe their breasts, neck, belly anus, back or whatever, yet if I'm unsure then I go for the sure thing.

    You will rarely if ever go wrong with the neck. Again, just hands alone doesn't seem to work as well. So though I could walk up behind a gal, slip my arms around her, rub my boobs on her back, use one hand on her breasts and belly, nothing works as good as their neck (and to some degree shoulders). So, instead I'll walk up behind like before, do all the same BUT I'll add to that nibbling kisses to their neck, shoulders and ears. Those that like it a little rougher I might slide my hand up from their breast as I'm beginning to rub their cunnie, and then gently yet firm grasp their throat and growl out "don't you move" and then go to town... BUT, I then continue with firm (though not painfully hard) biting kisses to those same areas.

    Maybe it is just me, but with the kisses I've found a woman orgasms from my hands MUCH quicker and harder.

    Getting there... Unlike a guy who I can walk up behind, pull his dick out and get him to cum without much else, I've very rarely if ever been with a woman where it was that simple. So (and again in my more aggressive style), here is an example of what I mean.

    One day a gal I know dropped off her guy and his kayak on the Yellowstone (though I'm not supposed to be driving) in a high lifted 4x4 of ours. Well she stands about 6" less than me, and I can barely climb in it, so to help her out I had her place her right foot up on the rocker, told her to grab the shoulder belt and pull when I lifted. I meant to just heft her up by her butt, however with her wearing a short shirt and her legs so splayed out, I got a handful of panty encased coochie. Once I walked around and got in she looked at me as though shocked. However, the second time she asked "what would you (I) have done if I (she) wasn't wearing panties" in between all of her complaining, I told her to get out, just as I did.

    So around the truck I stormed actually irritated and told her to take off her panties. When she balked I repeated myself adding "I said, take off your fucking panties, now." So down they came and I tossed them into the bed. Next I demanded her shoes off just to make her stand on the sharp rocks so she wouldn't squirm, and had her repeat the same pose. There however is where it changed (and no, I didn't have to force her, she was pushing for this... I believe hehe).

    Putting my right hand on her knee that was up, I slowly slid it down on the inside of her leg, and then did the teasing thing of closer then back, closer still then back, closer still, little circles, then bingo. She just stood there frozen though her breathing ramped up, and when she started to say something I just told her to be quiet, she wanted to know what I'd do. Then came my other hand slipping into her top, and then came the kisses too her neck. About two minutes later, blast off... and then I hefted her into the truck netting a handful of wet cunnie for my trouble.

    Point being, you have to work a little to get there. The way I like doing it is as though I'm exploring their body be it a thigh, or the whole thing as you work toward that goal. You may know it's the goal, they may know it's the goal, yet I believe it works best and helps make is so they WANT your hand there, by seeming to become intrigued and distracted by the rest of her as you get there.

    That said... Pay attention! As their interest builds you're doing great, so slowly get closer and closer. The second however you notice them even slightly becoming bored or anxious, pick it up some and get there. Either too slow or too fast can hurt the outcome. So you have to pay attention to how they are responding.

    Which leads us to;

    Techniques...
    Be clear on something, there is NO singular, works for all or even most women technique when it comes to helping a gal to "rub one out" (why guys use that term for themselves is beyond me... It makes sense for women though). Some gals like it this way, others that, and though most things they'll let you do, just like above there will come a point of where they either want you to do it right or get the fuck out of there.

    Very few women will simply flat out tell you either when to get down to business let alone, how to do it. Hell, I don't know. I know what works for me and what works for a few I'm regularly intimate with, yet otherwise I have to guess just like all of you in that knowing my body is not the same as knowing theirs.

    Until you do however, make Rule No.1 unless she urges you otherwise: No fingers in her vagina! You might pass over it, and one or two might just barely (like a eighth-inch) slip in as you gather wetness, yet do not push them inside of her. A LOT of women don't like that. So don't do it unless she gives you an indication that she wants it, and if you think she did, yet then she squirms just the tiniest amount showing that she is uncomfortable, then get them out quickly (yet smoothly like "you" meant to anyway).

    Okay, so you made it to "Third Base," now what do you do since she is very likely not telling you?

    Well you watch for two types of cues. The first being what she DOESN'T like. If she makes an uncomfortable noise, squirms as though trying to get away from you touching there or in that way, becomes rigid/stiff, starts to look bored or anxious, then move differently. If she continues after you do, then stop touching her cunnie. To not means this can all end very abruptly, and if she asks you to "just fuck me," that means you're well past the point (but now you're in very precarious territory, and a whole other subject).

    The second type of cue is what she DOES like. However, there are two types of that. One means nothing more than "that feels good, I like it." The second means "there is the spot, keep doing that." It is a 1:1,000,000 chance that you're going to make her cum by not touching her clit, so if say you're touching her inner labia and it happens, that means you want to now and again go back to doing it. When you're at her clit however and she is giving you a positive cue, you then need to pay attention to how she responds from moment to moment.

    Is X pace and Y pressure with Z technique causing her to ramp up her excitement? If so keep it just like that for a little bit. If she seems to get anxious, pick up the pressure or speed just slightly, and if she seems to get bored, the shift to something else.

    Now obviously if you from stroke to stroke keep changing, you'll never figure it out. So try something for 3-4 repetitive motions, and if it works great, if it begins to fade try something else for a second (and she'll seem disappointed if she wanted you to stay but just pick it up some, so go back to it in a few seconds), and if she seems bored or like it's doing nothing, move on to other ways.

    At this point you need to realize a few things...
    1. You aren't going to break her hoo-haa, so you can be firm with it, rough even, pinch, pull and press firmly. Some things she might like, some she might not, or even any of it... But, don't be afraid to be firm with that bad kitty!
    2. Gentle is great for a build up, to a point. Now some gals only want it that way, so fine, stick with it. Some want you to start soft and get firmer and firmer. HOWEVER, what many like (and many don't even realize it until you do it), is for you to be gentle and teasing, firmer, firmer... and then ease back to very light and delicate random touches to wrap it up. With those gals (or when X gal is in that mood), very light touches at the end will set them off. Not harder and faster as you might think.
    3. Direct and to the point only works if you know what she likes, and even then it might not be the best way. I'll often even though I know exactly what she likes intentionally fumble around only every now and again hitting the spot. Now that only works to a point, yet it helps a lot with the build up in that pushing the wrong thing will put her off, and enough of it will cause the coochie to close for repairs, and then they aren't going to cum.

    So what that means is you can try anything and everything. Try a bunch of things, see what you get a good response with, move on, then come back to it.

    Personally, "I" hate it when someone uses just one fingertip on me. Some gals like it, I don't and know others who don't either.

    To that end, I'll typically start off with my whole palm and fingers when first exploring. Don't be afraid to get a handful. However, I do it as though I'm rubbing it all at once, and I'll try from side to side, up and down, little circles... yet in the process I'll say press my index finger and pinkie to her outer labia, and then not at the same time, maybe drag my middle finger up from her vagina to her clit and back. Then I'll maybe pinch her inner labia with my thumb and index finger and give it a tug. All of that is happening while the rest of my hand is lazily doing whatever, yet I'm seeing without being obvious what perks her interest.

    As I begin to get an idea I'll focus more and more dropping down from my whole hand, to my four fingertips, then three, and typically the least two as I zero in on the good spots and actions. Sometimes I'll press with my whole palm, others drum my fingertips, and other times poke and push lightly here then way over there, then back near with one or two fingertips.

    Don't be afraid to also see how she responds to jerking her clit like a tiny dick. Also, it sometimes works to literally pinch it softly. Don't just get the hood, but the whole thing. I've even known some gals who I could make cum in 15 seconds by simply pinching their clit between my knuckles, and bearing down like I'm trying to crush it. Others might like you pressing firm down on their clit.

    All that said... I need to stop there for the moment, and I'll try and wrap it up with some solid touches and motions that I have experienced when getting down to it, yet more so how I typically work through all of that to get where I can figure out and focus on what will make her cum best.

    Hush....an alias
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2017
    1. thinskin
      Well I have a busy evening ahead so I will read this later bitch!!;)

      ts
       
      thinskin, May 11, 2017
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    2. thinskin
      OK LOL Hush............you are truly a star because I know of no-one else with enough girls to have done a statistically significant survey!

      Brava bambina!

      ts
       
      thinskin, May 11, 2017
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    #1
  2. obe

    obe a little pain and a lot of pleasure

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    Well Hush I must say very informative, you certainly can teach us men a thing or two
     
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    #2
  3. Jonme

    Jonme Porno Junky

    Joined:
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    Yet another one of your very erudite posts @Hush and hopefully of help to the less experienced.
    I say hopefully because from what I have been told some of the less experienced are so wrapped up in their own needs that they forget those of who they are with.
    You give your very enlightening thoughts in many words but if I may I will give mine in a few - there is no A >B>C>D ....... in bringing a woman off, keep jumbling the letters up in any order necessary, in the 'dictionary of who you are with' until you manage to spell the word ORGASM.
    My Rule No. 1 Variety, variety variety ....... and Observe, observe, observe ............
     
    Hush likes this.
    1. Hush
      Hush, May 12, 2017
    #3
  4. Jonme

    Jonme Porno Junky

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    Another thought @Hush - Not having cum from a hand-job is not necessarily bullshit, nor does it deserve a disbelieving "cough".
    After over 50 partners (admittedly in your experience not very many) some of who were very skilled, very exciting and arousing I have never (as yet) cum from a hand-job although admittedly very close. I have also only cum twice from a blow-job.
     
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    1. Hush
      Hush, May 12, 2017
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    2. Jonme
      Thanks, just read it, will read again and then comment.
       
      Jonme, May 12, 2017
    #4
  5. msman

    msman Porn Star

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    How about asking the woman what feels the best for her?
     
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    1. Hush
      Well in the rare case that may work... However, I'll let the men here answer that one.

      Hush....an alias
       
      Hush, May 12, 2017
    #5
  6. John227

    John227 Porn Star

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    Thank you very much @Hush for your outstanding post! I learned a very great deal. I don't have the opportunity to apply any of it in the near future, but in late summer or early fall I should be able to put the invaluable information into practice.

    I learned that I have been breaking two important rules.

    I have been breaking your rule #1: no fingers in the pussy. While I often rub the clit and labia with my entire hand, I usually put 2 or 3 fingers in her and my thumb on her clit (when she is on her back). The times I have not put my fingers in her were when she placed my hand on her clit herself and groaned a lot. Now, I will not initiate fingers in the pussy. I will wait until she puts my fingers in her herself or instructs me to do so.

    I have not been kissing enough. Most of my manual stimulation of women has been before penetration as part of foreplay. Other parts of foreplay are oral sex, breast sex, and especially massages. If sex is planned, I kiss mostly during sex as the position allows. Kissing while masturbating her has almost always been part of after-play. I will ask if and how she would like to be kissed during massages and the related manual stimulation.

    Again, this is a fantastic post! I can't wait for your wrap-ups!
     
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    1. Hush
      I'll try and wrap it up with a little more straight forward suggestions in a day or so. Just keep in mind though, as I said there is no one size fits all way when it comes to women. Though for men, "up and down" seems to work rather consistently ;)

      Hush....an alias
       
      Hush, May 12, 2017
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    #6
  7. Jonme

    Jonme Porno Junky

    Joined:
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    In my opinion asking is about the worst thing you can do - a constant stream of questions such as "is that OK"? "Do you like that"? Should I try something different"? .... etc, etc, etc is, from my less experienced days, an almost certain 'turn-off', not a 'turn-on'.
    Your actions should be your questions and her reactions verbal, by sounds, by physical movements, individually or combined, should be your answers. You just have to be 'tuned-in' enough to understand them.
    The same goes for other kinds of questions of 'insecurity' during (and after) sex.
    Some women might like to 'take a guy's cherry' but if they are with a supposedly experienced 'lover' then they expect them to act like one and not like some 'fumbling inadequate'.
    As @Hush said a lot of this involves getting to know your partner, getting to know everything that contributes to them enjoying their sex including their ever changing moods and for want of a better term their ever changing 'trigger points' - that is if you are interested enough in their pleasure and satisfaction and not just your own 'selfish ends'. The learning about these things will not only make things (mutually) better but can be/should be also in themselves a source of (mutual) pleasure.
    This is why for 'enjoyable fucking', as against 'just fucking', I have never been attracted to one night stands - there isn't enough time to find out all those little foibles that add so much to the enjoyment; it is just two people each getting, or hopefully getting, what they individually need, almost a kind of masturbation where each is a 'tool' for the others use.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2017
    Hush likes this.
    1. msman
      That is not what I was talking about when I said ask the woman. A man should have some experience. I was under the impression there was an age limit to be on this forum. I can understand children asking a lot of questions but they should not be on here.

      What better way to get to know your partner than talking to them? I am beginning to think some people on here have been paying for sex a little too often.
      Having sex is not a race. It isn't a competition. At least get the name of the person you are going to have sex with.
       
      msman, May 12, 2017
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    2. Hush
      Frankly msman, most women don't like sharing their intimate secrets, even if it is to their own benefit. Though there are countless reasons, the validity of them to be debated, some women like seeing if the one they're with are the big studs (and sadly often knock em down a notch if they don't guess right), and others feel more comfortable not sharing all of their little triggers, often in that they have learned once a guy knows one (be it a fantasy of hers or "a" way that she likes to be touched), that is sadly often all he will do.

      Hush....an alias
       
      Hush, May 12, 2017
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    #7
  8. notdescriptive

    notdescriptive Porn Star

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    That a lot of reading, enjoyable reading, to make me realize that I'm glad I'm a man. Up and down and in and out works every time, much to my orgasmic relief.
     
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    #8
  9. wantingnot

    wantingnot Porno Junky

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    As she always seems to do, Hush offers us an excellent education in an aspect of sex. Such knowledge and experience Hush shares is to respected and admired. I am not young and spent some time selling access to my body on the street. Based on that I thought I knew it all. Hush has taught me to realize I have more to learn. Thanks Hush.

    Hush has mentioned this elsewhere, as have other contributors to this forum, and it bears repeating; want to be good sexually? Learn some anatomy. You can learn from books, from a single person, from multiple people or any combination. But learn and understand. What is sexual is as important as understanding why. Hookers have told me they can get just about any guy to climax in 2 or so minutes. I learned a good bj artist can make a guy climax in less than 5 minutes. These "gifts" come from understanding human anatomy.
     
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  10. msman

    msman Porn Star

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    You can study anatomy and read all you want but different people enjoy different things.
    Talking is the best way of learning what your partner enjoys.
    Of course if your partner does not trust you that can be hard to do.
    If both people trust each other talking is the best way to learn what she, or he, likes.
     
    #10
  11. 1 Toy Maker

    1 Toy Maker Kuns og Kram Smukke Love once found never lost

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    I agree with Hush on the start with the tease, make them want your hands own there. In my personal experience I have found that that Carry's on with the taboo "Don't stick your fingers in" although I have yet to have a women cum from having a few of my fingers stuck in her vagina, I have been told by one woman that she couldn't decide which she liked more the fingers playing in her vagina or them stroking her clitoris. Apparently they are two totally differnt sensations. Although she never finished by having them just playing in her vagina, a few strokes to the clitoris and she would go off like a bomb. But that only ever happened if I teased her into wanting the hand job.
     
    #11
  12. Hush

    Hush Happy Hhedonist

    Joined:
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    Haven't forgotten this, yet with the hot weather this week a lot of things are keeping me busy in real life. I'll get back to it soon and wrap up.

    Hush....an alias
     
    1. seafoam1
      Ok, @Hush , another clue as to where you live. Ok it's hot where you are. Let me get my push pin and map and see what we have here. Let me see....................
      Damn it, foiled again!!☺
       
      seafoam1, May 19, 2017
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    2. Hush
      This map should help!

      [​IMG]

      Hush....an alias
       
      Hush, May 19, 2017
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    3. seafoam1
      That was a sloppy mistake and very helpful!!
       
      seafoam1, May 20, 2017
    #12
  13. Lickalota puss

    Lickalota puss Porn Star

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    Not to be cheeky but folks needing a how to manual to bring their partner to orgasm by hand just need a little bit of communication while doing it surely. Find out the yes and no's and it'll all fit into place, part of the fun is exploring the good and the not so good techniques till you get it down pat.
     
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  14. Bron Zeage

    Bron Zeage I am a river to my people

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    Honestly, if a man hasn't perfected this kind of thing before he's old enough to get a driver's license, he may never figure it out. Of course, I'm talking about an earlier time.
     
    #14
  15. noboat

    noboat Porn Star

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    #15
  16. Swee-a-ty

    Swee-a-ty Porno Junky

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    not all the guys have the knack of making a girl reach her orgasm; mostly they depend upon their fingers do the job of their cocks; sometimes, they finish out even before opening; boys!
     
    #16
  17. Marvin65

    Marvin65 Porn Star

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    My coworker with benefits has many erotic areas. I have given her many orgasms rubbing and touching her erogenous zones.
     
    #17
  18. seafoam1

    seafoam1 Porn Star

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    Seriously, an man has to work on his manual and oral skills. Let's be honest fellas, sometimes you get tired, or you get older, or round 2 may have a slower rebound time than your younger days and you need to get creative. Who really wants to be a one trick pony?
     
    #18