Confused.com

 

It’s all quite simple, really.

You see, the OP wants to know what it’s like to be lusted after because nobody is lusting after her at the moment... at least not anyone in the Western Hemisphere. Which is really rather remarkable, as she’s bisexual, so her chances with lusty situations should be twofold... or bi-fold, like my linen closet. It’s also a shame that she’s not open to lust from the Eastern Hemisphere, because that’s where the majority of the Earth’s population resides, so she might actually have a decent shot at locating a little lust there.

She once had a man or a woman of her own, but then another woman in the middle of a poker game decided that she did not like the cards she had been dealt, so she threw her cards on the floor and ran off to pursue something she had no right to pursue, specifically the OP’s man and/or woman, and she may have also kidnapped a child, as that would be something else she had no right to but chose to pursue because she had nothing else to do since poker was her only hobby until she didn’t like the cards she was dealt. I have a feeling she also robbed a bank because she apparently has no job if she has so much free time to play poker, rob banks, kidnap kids, and steal men and/or women who no longer lust after the OP, though presumably they once did, as she considered them hers until the poker player stole them.

Sadly, it seems that no one on the forum is willing or able to tell the OP what it is like to be most-lusted-after in the Western Hemisphere, presumably because there is no "Miss Most Lusted After Pageant" to decide such things. There are probably women who like to THINK they’re the most lusted after in the Western Hemisphere, but they have no documentation to prove it. Like that slutty bad-dye-job-too-much-eyeshadow-too-tight-miniskirt-wearing Debbie Lynn Finkeldorf back in high school. What a bitch! It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if she’s out there somewhere taking things she has no right to, just the way she took Jimmy Hallahan away from Vickie Mackelman after the prom, even though Jimmy gave Vickie a promise ring just the week before! Can you imagine?

Anyhoo, I think the OP has made a serious mistake by excluding the Eastern Hemisphere from her query. I mean, with all those damned mail-order brides, a few of them probably think they’re hot shit just because some lonely loser will pay them to pretend to care about them. I used to work with a 50-year-old virgin who bought a wife from a catalog and she came here, married him, then stole all of his money plus a puppy he bought right after he bought a wife, and she ran off back to Whereveristan and opened a nail salon with the money she stole.

So, I hope that clears it all up for you. I can’t give you any further details now, though, because they just finished detailing my car and I have to go meet with some TV execs to pitch my idea for a new show: "Most Lustworthy Bank-Robbing Poker Players of Either Hemisphere”. I’m gonna be rich!!

 

@aesopstails

 

That’s hilarious.

I love it!

 

Maybe they don't know the difference between a pair & a straight?
I always keep the cute ones with the hearts & toss everything
else way!

 

It's not to bad. I get to pick and choose who I'll date.

 

Aesopstails...........why would i waste my energy looking as far a field as the eastern hemisphere for a little lust...you may or may not the most approachable or athletically sporting as far as ive seen on my travels...neither do i bump into said clique where i frequent...try bringing the walls down a little though hey
I posted the open ended question for a little lateral banter..not a sly dig at anyone of my followers ...
I could have said a typical calendar girl would have an agonising time choosing between some played out friend of a relative or a hot new foreigner

 

Attempting to be a smart arse when posting in a foreign language is not often a good look.

 

Why do you waste your energy pestering porn people per positively preposterous proposals?

 

Why do you waste your energy pestering porn people per positively preposterous proposals?

I am 100% approachable. I gave up my bodyguard some years back when I realized I didn’t need to wait for no stinking LEGAL weapons because there’s a whole big black market out there if you know where to look. So now I get it done myself while my former bodyguard is protecting some rich kid from the schoolyard bullies.

The term "athletically sporting" is redundant, and the observation of athletic individuals requires no travel if you get ESPN.

Who said anything about a clique? And you wouldn’t bump in to ANYTHING if you’d lay off the booze once in a while. And what places DO you frequent? I would love to know which locations to avoid. Not that I travel much anyway... I’m usually home watching ESPN with an illegal weapon in my lap.

Don’t be ridiculous. If I bring down the walls, then I’ll have to plaster and repaint every room in the house. And buy a shorter Christmas tree. And I’d probably walk into the chandelier all the time... though it might be easier to change the lightbulbs.

Actually, you posted TWO questions: the thread title question about lusted-after women specific to a single hemisphere, and the first-post question regarding card-playing women misbehaving.

Precisely WHAT do you have against the Eastern Hemisphere that makes you exclude them from the promise of lateral banter? Did the Eastern Hemisphere beat you when you were a child? Did the Eastern Hemisphere lure away your Daddy even though you were a VERY good girl? Did the Eastern Hemisphere eat all of your Halloween candy or give you the chicken pox or stand you up for the prom after you spent $137 for a new dress from Gimbels?

As far as the card-playing women doing things of which you don’t approve, I don’t play cards except for Go Fish with the kids, so that should help you sleep a bit easier tonight.

Do you really take the "my followers" bullshit that seriously? Puhllleeeze! ** insert exaggerated eye roll here**

Excuse me, but WTF are you going on about? You "could have said" LOTS of things. You could have said "Hi there, everyone... I’m off my meds so I’m posting inane musings. Have a nice day". You could have said "Only you can prevent forest fires". You could have said "Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore". In fact, just about anything you COULD HAVE said would have been an improvement.

What’s this nonsense about "typical calendar girls"? Have you gone shopping for a calendar lately? Typically, you’ll find calendars featuring puppies, kittens, birds, cartoon characters like Dilbert, Snoopy, or Maxine, word-a-day definitions, inspirational or funny quotes, bible verses (which might also be inspirational or funny), cars, cows, flowers, or lovely sunsets (not to be confused with lovely sunrises). Of all the popular calendars, only Sports Illustrated features "girls".

But you’re right about one thing... it is truly agoniZing choosing between a "played out" individual or a "hot new foreigner". Unless the hot new foreigner is from the Eastern Hemisphere. Then that child-beating, Daddy-stealing, candy-snatching, pox-infected prom-skipping sonofabitch can go straight to hell!

 

CAT FIGHT!!
Ladies... one rule.
No pulling hair.

Go for the shirts and bras.

 

What is it like? It is exhausting! It is very intrusive! I am left with insufficient time to be a guy. I threw away my prom dress, make-up, etc. And am back as myself.