So I've finally been able to get my wife to start opening up when it comes to sex but I'm at a loss as to how to proceed from here.

So I've been married for almost 3 years at this point and my wife has always been really up tight about sex. Her version of spicing things up in the bedroom was doing it doggystyle. Lately she asked me to look up how to get a bit rougher cause she wanted to try that. So I did some research into the intricacies of spanking cause i figured she would be into that and i was right, she absolutely loves it. Only thing is that she thinks anything outside of standard missionary sex is weird and not right so she is having trouble coming to terms with this. I did my best for her with plenty of aftercare and reassurance that she wasn't a freak for wanting to be spanked. She was saying things like she didnt feel right praying that night because of what we had done. I'm just wondering if anyone has advice on how to keep the exploration going without pushing her too hard.

Little extra info though - she will not watch porn, she believes that porn will kill a relationship. I do watch porn but i hide it from her. (yes i know thats not healthy but thats not the point of this post) She also refuses to do bondage or choking, I've casually mentioned those and she flat out refuses

 

She asked you to be "rougher" and the easiest way of creating the fantasy for her is assume that role (in other words) to act it out? Instead of changing your nature you mentally enact a persona as a form of roleplay? Be assertive and demanding of her inhibitions, one at a time!

 

She has made the opening move that she want experiment with rough so you should tell her what you want to explore. Talk to each other and listen and make somerules……..if she wants a bit of caveman you could reasonally ask for porn although personally I like spanking girls or boys and I am almost fit enough to deliver a good hard dozen.

Good luck!

Thinskin

 

She is obviously interested in expanding things a little. I suggest asking her what new things she wants to try, and encourage her to feel comfortable talking about it. Maybe she will come out of her shell a little bit at a time.

 

And this is why my sarcastic ass avoids Sexuality sometimes.
Your post is full of contradictions.

 

Baby steps. However you proceed, do it very slowly. And if she is religious, tell her to read The Song of Solomon in the Bible.

 

Well, you said she wants it rough. Don't ask her about other positions, slap her ass , bend her over the table and teach her some discipline...

 

OK fist off choking is dangerous and bodage could mean a whole load of things which might not figure on her radar of what she assumes is meant by the term.

Talk to her. I love been tied up handcuffs work for me but scarfes can be a nice introduction. Depending hpw comfortable she is then try putting a blindfod on her ( I suggest she be unbound for this one) tickle, tease, kiss her and be real gentle. Ask her what she likes while you are doing this

Being rough can be fun but it takes communication and trust and if she is totally new into this then you are going to have build up with baby steps so she feels complete confidence in you.

I could suggest paddles , crops, or a stern hand on her backside hair pulling, deepthroating I mean I am getting wet talking about this stuff but thats me and not her.

Take it slowly with her, experiment and put the focus on her. I keep sayng this but if she feels that all you are doing is the shit you like with no regard for her likes, it will kill it dead before you start.

Good luck I hope this turns in a huge sexy adventure for you both

 

She is opening up and having a hard time with it yet you decide to mention being choked and bondage so soon?? Are you trying to get her to open up or shut down?? I think you need to first learn how to take things much slower. I also think you reading up on things would be helpful for you. How you approach this type rougher play will be the deciding factor in how she feels about moving forward with it. You do not want to give her a bad image, vibe or bad thoughts about it before you even get into it too deeply.

Communication is the most important thing and not getting frustrated if she turns down something you suggest. Because if you make her comfortable she might later change her mind. There are tender ways to be rough. If you get what i mean.

 

There’s a whole subfamily of kink called Christian Domestic Discipline. Spanking as the good Lord intended.