Im interested in others thoughts on the dynamics of having an affair. I fully get it's wrong. I fully understand the repercussions of them. I'm just curious if anyone else has had kind of the same feelings as me.

My reason for cheating is I'm not getting what I need emotionally and physically. The problem I'm having is that now I get jealous when I know she's had sex with her husband. I used to not even think about it and it never bothered me in the least. I know it's dumb. I know what I'm doing is wrong. I just don't understand why I care? Why is it a big deal now? I know it's just sex and they are married and are going to do it just like I do but I hate the feeling. Any advice and yes stopping seeing her has been thought about.

 

https://forum.xnxx.com/threads/men-women-why-did-you-cheat.410931/

 

Let me see if I understand. You are married and she is married and you are both cheating. Correct? Now you are developing feelings which are being expressed as jealousy.
That's a risk that you take when you cheat, and it happens all of the time.
Does she have feelings for you?
Do you want to save your marriage or are you ready to end it?
When the situation changes from a FWB to emotions getting in the mix you are really playing with gas can and a lit match.
You have reached the state where fun and games are over and the shit has gotten real.

You need to decide what and who you want and do it quickly before this whole thing blows up.

 

You are correct about everything. We both have feelings for each other but either can't or won't leave our spouses. It went from a lot of fun to now dread and anxiety and jealousy and all the crap I hate. It's been almost 3 years now. The last year I've been pretty miserable, but I don't want to end it although I think I would be happier if I did. I know I'm irrational and stupid. I like the physical part of being with her but very little else now at this point.

 

My FWB and I are bo t h in other relationships. I am married and she has a significant other. Neither of us is getting the physical attention that we crave. What is kind of odd is that everyone at work knows about us and everyone seems to be ok with it.

 

The affair will soon be over. No need to worry. Both of you think their marriage is much more important that a piece of ass every once in a while.
It has run it's course. Soon you both will be off after another person to have an affair with and it will start all over again.

 

Boy o'boy, you are fucking a married woman and jealous that she has sex with her husband. I think you need to decide if you and she will get a divorce and be "true" to each other or for the sake of your sanity, break it off. The alternative is to get philosophical and get over your jealousy but that does not seem to be doable for you.

 

No worry. If you cannot break off the affair the woman is about to.

She probably already has found a replacement. You should be looking for one also.

 

Jealous of your mistress's husband? That's a whole 'nother level of fucked up.

End the affair or end your marriage. Preferably your marriage, your wife deserves better than a chronic cheater.

 

I would agree with you.

Although I'm not a chronic cheater. This is the first one I've ever had in a little less than 30 years of marriage. No way will I do this again and I'm sure she won't either. Yeah it's fucked up.

 

Advice? Yeah, just accept the fact that she doesn't think you're worth leaving her husband. Either get used to that, or move on.

 

Definetly seek some profesional help. Your jealous that your side pie is having sex with her husband? Come on now! And also if your not getting what you want from your wife that's on you not her. I hear dudes on this site complaining that thier wife won't fuck em. If you have lost tge ability to woo your wife try getting of the couch and taking her out and buy her some shoes then bring her home and bend her over. Your grown men people this shit isn't that hard!

 

Well I know theres a less than zero chance I would leave for her. There's no possible way I would marry her. I couldn't live with her. She's neurotic as all get out and just has a lot of quirks about herself that I could never live with.

 

Cheating is easier the second time. It can be habit forming.
Usually the spouse knows about it all the time. Some will do the same thing their spouse is doing.
Others will make your life a living hell. Some see it as a blessing.

 

Which one is your best friend? Because whichever relationship ends, and it will, you'll either have to go through it alone without the support of your best friend, or you'll not have your best friend. I've been through this and I can assure you it can end up all shades of fucked up. If you're not getting what you want out of your marriage, talk with a counsellor and take up wanking. There's a lot more to a good relationship than fucking and you stand to lose all of that just so you can get your jollies with someone who doesn't feel the same about you as you do about them.

 

That's all very very true. The person I'm having an affair with is not my best friend. She feels the same about me as I do her. That's not the issue. The other thing of course is I have no one to talk to about this. It's something you keep to yourself lol.

 

My first question is - You are having sex with her because you can't get what you need at home but why is she having sex with you if she is still having it with her husband?

I've have had sex with ** married women but all were because they were not getting any at home - I should clarify that by sex I mean the 'full deal' and not just a quick 1 minute shag, cum, drop out, roll over and go to sleep; which unfortunately many marriages can succumb to if not careful/caring. And if that is all she is getting then how can you possibly be jealous of that?
Luckily (?) none of them turned into an 'affair' but if either is also looking for emotional fulfilment as well and find it then an affair is inevitable - with the subsequent results for either or both parties.
Even if it is 'just for good fucking' there is a risk of (eventually) an emotional content creeping in, when in the 'after-glow' of a good fuck lust turns to 'tenderness'; it is a risk that any FBs run.
You are my friend just not facing up to reality - you have got involved, while looking for sexual and emotional fulfilment, with somebody who you admit you could not live with and who isn't your best friend - how the fuck can you even imagine for 1 second that you might have some kind of a future with her when she is not, and can not give you what you are looking for.
You are risking all to win nothing, you are playing for maximum stakes with a hand you should fold.
END IT before it ends in a complete mess, for you, your wife, her and her husband.

 

In answer to your question it might well be that you are forming feelings for her beyond a bit of 'skirt on the side' or it might simply be one of life imponderables. Either way, it could just be that amber light that begs the question, Do I hit the accelerator and hope I make it through or do I put the brakes on and re consider where I am at.

I am certainly not going to criticise your decision to start an affair or condemn you for cheating because you have been there and done that, so perhaps now is the right time to work on your marriage because it is sounding like things might get sticky if you do not

 

She does complain that it's a one minute deal and not good at all for her. And only once or twice a month at that. You're right in that it's pretty dumb to get jealous about that.

I appreciate everyone's honesty. I've decided that it would be easiest to end it. It's been almost 3 years now and I have no intention of leaving for her or her for me. I'm on borrowed time as it is. Just a matter of time before shit hits the fan. I think as many of you have said it's not worth the few moments of pleasure to mess up what I have. I have a good life and need to appreciate what I have and work on what I have. I have two younger sons and would hate myself if i hurt them and honestly if I hurt my wife. I'm not a good person and I seriously loathe myself right now.

 

But why why why can I not have all the cake and eat it..? I'll scweam and scweam and scweam!