Ok so I'm feeling like bacon wrapped chicken tonight but I'm finding it hard to figure out a side item...any suggestions?

 

Hi Venus...........I have lots of questions but we will take our time.

This is personal so please feel free to decline to answer!

When you and hubby went from husband and wife to sir and sub how long did the transition take and what were the major stumbling blocks?

thinskin

 

would have given a whole new meaning to the term "hey kids the train's coming"

 

My girlfriend is a transwoman; she's taking female hormones but she hasn't had any surgery yet. She does have male genitalia but the hormones are giving her a more feminine shape with hip and breast development. However, it is not like "chick with dick" porn at all! As the hormones take effect, she is less and less interested in having or using a penis. We've never had sex where she penetrates me and she doesn't want to. I do give her blowjobs, and she enjoys them, but I've never made her cum. Apparently for a lot of transwomen, the hormones make it very difficult to have orgasms through penile stimulation alone. Prostate stimulation can help; I really need to get a strapon! She's much more interested in being fucked. She has a male partner also and she says it feels more natural to her to be on the receiving end now. I'm not sure how long she's even going to want to get blowjobs.

I have another trans friend who uses a strapon herself - she also has male genitalia but she's been on hormones for a year and it's barely functional at this point. She says she doesn't see any problem in putting on a fake penis because she can take it off whenever she wants to, and it's about her partner's pleasure. I'm going to ask my girlfriend if she'd be interested in that - fucking me with a strapon. If we can find an adjustable harness that fits both of us it would be ideal!

I have never thought of her as anything but a woman. I met her when she was already transitioning, and she's very feminine. Prettier than me, too! Just because she has some male anatomy doesn't change who she is to me.

 

Venus. Thank you for your information. I find that very interesting and maybe helpful. That info is something you would never think of. And would be helpful. Thanks

 

There's a lot of debate about this, I'll see how much I can answer before I have to go catch a bus in 20 minutes!

Often, the distinction is that a sub has more autonomy in the relationship, while a slave has completely turned over all aspects of their life. A sub can negotiate during the relationship, on a case by case basis; a slave can negotiate beforehand, but once they're in the relationship, it is how it is and they have no say in it. Some people think slaves can't have hard limits, and I do know no-limits slaves. Other slaves do have limits though, which were prenegotiated. I don't think it's unreasonable for an alcoholic, for instance, to make a drinking or being forced to drink a hard limit. (If they're getting in a relationship with someone who they seriously think would do that, I might suggest they rethink their potential partner, but the point is that I think things that would threaten life, safety, or sanity wouldn't be out of place as limits for a slave.)

Not all D/s and M/s relationships look like other relationships of that type, though. I know a woman whose husband is her sub, but they have so many rules and restrictions in place, most people would assume he was a slave. Sir and I have a rather laissez-faire relationship; I have overarching rules, the first of which is "obey," but within those rules I'm given quite a bit of self-determination. We're more about overall authority and obedience than micromanaging every single detail. It's like whether you use a horse's reins to guide it or stop it. Sometimes you need to haul back and say "Whoa there!" but we prefer steering in a direction that allows forward motion.

There's sometimes an idea that being a slave is the next step up (or down) from being a sub - that one leads to another, that the "ultimate" sub is a slave. I see some slaves get on a high horse about this, looking down on D/s relationships. I don't believe there's a hierarchy, though, or that a D/s relationship ought to have M/s as its goal. If people are happy as submissives, there's nothing wrong with keeping that as their role for their entire life. On the other hand, some people go straight into M/s relationships without ever doing D/s, which is how it worked for me. Many slaves I know don't consider themselves submissive - one friend says she's a dominant person enslaved to a more dominant person. I definitely don't think I have a submissive personality myself!

Okay, that bus is coming soon, but I may come back to this later. It's a simple question with a very involved answer!

 

I have another question. I see videos of transgender women with huge dick and either masturbating or getting a blow job. Do some of these ladies enjoy pleasure from their dicks or are they all feeling as you described.

 

I realize it's been a month and you've probably already had your bacon-wrapped chicken, but what the heck. I'd go for a plain starch because the bacon's going to be plenty salty, and maybe a touch of bitterness in the vegetable. Oven-roasted potatoes and broccoli rabe. Saute the rabe in the bacon fat.

 

My expectations were the biggest problem. I'd been in an M/s relationship before - I was much younger then, and what I needed from a relationship was different. But I tried to make that the model because it's what I knew. Sir had no background in BDSM or M/s and wanted to develop our relationship from the ground up. He took my input into account but it wasn't going to be the same as it had been before, with a different person, when I was a different person.

The best part about being a sub or slave is that you don't have to make any of the decisions.

The worst part is that you don't get to make any of the decisions!

So there's me, with my experience and preset ideas, trying to tell him what to do; and him, with no experience and his own original ideas, taking what I said and digesting it, figuring out how to apply it to us, but also rejecting everything he didn't like or that he didn't think would work. And there's me again sitting on my hands, realizing that this is what I wanted, but that it wasn't going to be what I used to have. I'm good at obedience, I slipped right back into it, but mentally I still had some difficulty because we'd been in a vanilla egalitarian relationship for so long. "Oh yeah, I don't get to say 'no' to that now." Not that I wanted to, but it was very different not having the option to.

 

The first time I went to a BDSM play party - I had no idea what to expect, and what I did expect was very vague. Let's just say it was a fantastic experience and now I go to at least one a month.

Everything involving group sex has been at least a disappointment and at most a pretty terrible experience. My first threesome was fun physically, but the emotional fallout was awful. I actually fell asleep at my first orgy. I did have fun for the first couple hours, but it got to be late and I just conked right out on the couch. Even all that sex and all those people weren't enough to keep me going!

I really want two or more of my sadistic partners to double-team me in a BDSM scene. It wouldn't necessarily involve sex. I just want to get beaten back and front at the same time, or have them alternate strokes. This is probably going to happen at some point but it hasn't yet. I'd really like my asexual boyfriend to be involved - he's very sadistic, but he doesn't like to play in public. Hopefully I can talk him and someone else into it. Soon.

I'm honestly not that unusual when it comes to sex. I'm happy in the standard positions with one other person. I do like breast/nipple torture and electrotorture, but that isn't necessarily sexual. It's fun when it is, though!

 

Venus, have you been asked about pegging?

 

Well two things really . Have you ever done fisting . I read in one of your comments you don't orgasum from normal penatration . I was with someone like that years ago so would do anything she wanted so she could orgasum . She had never tried it before and did take a while to work myself in . Pardon the pun but once started she fucking loved it . Was just being nosy realy.
The other was on stimulating your clit with the electrodes. Can this if done at the right setting make you orgasum x

 

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=height+of+eiffel+tower

 

Not being one of them, and never having known one, I don't know. However, I would suspect that they're not taking hormones, but have had surgery to get breasts and a more feminine shape. They would still have plenty of testosterone and the ability to use their male genitalia.

 

Yes, and with any luck I'm doing it tonight! My trans girlfriend works in a sex shop, and when I had jury duty downtown the other day, I visited her on the lunch break and she helped me pick out a harness and a dildo. She held onto them for me so I wouldn't have to try to get them into the courthouse after the break, lol. She's coming over for dinner and I hope she's cumming soon after that

A few of my male partners have asked me over the years, and ever since one of my former girlfriends fucked me with a strapon I've wanted to use one. The harnesses I looked at were all very expensive, though, and I was worried about what size dildo to get. I've mentioned in this thread that I have a connective tissue disorder that makes me very stretchy, so anal sex has never hurt me, not even the first time and not even with a guy with an 11-inch dick. I don't know how it feels for normal people to need to be stretched out slowly and start with something small. It's a good thing my girlfriend could help me pick the dildo, she knows what will fit inside her!

One of my boyfriends is also interested in me pegging him - perhaps that'll be next weekend! And now that word is getting around that I have a strapon I may have more candidates lining up.

 

Thank You for the great reply.

 

Some very thoughtful replies V!

A light technical question...........would you like to talk us through your safeword experiences and what works best for you?

Thinskin