having sex whilst babysitting, the young lady inquestion is cummin like a good un when i hear the key i the door, drags pants up and the girl, sit there looking all innocent as they walk in with her knickers on the floor and a big fuck off wet patch on the sofa, not a good night, ho ho

 

I do believe that's called a quif.

 

Do I have a story!

I was in Cozemel Mexico with my dad (we both dive), and we were crusing the city checking out shops when a small man called out to us and said something to the effect of "you guys look like you could use a drink, why dont you come into my place for a cold one". We decided to head in and when we got in we noticed that we were the only people in the joint besides the waiter. He served us some drinks and walked away, THEN 8 chicks came out of a small door in the back and 2 came over. (Yeah we walked into a mexican whore house for drinks). They started asking us if we wanted to cool down some more in the back with them and the one to my left touched my hand and guited it to her breats, she asked me how it felt and then she slid her and under my shorts and started rubbing my pecker, I almost fell out of my seat when she put her hand up my shorts. The lady to my right was flirting with my dad and all he could do was tell her he was married but she said she didnt care. My dad looked over and saw her hand up my shorts and started laughing and I grabed him by the hand and we casully walked out of the bar.

When ever someone brings up "how was the mexico trip" he always pokes fun at me and asks me how my "short arm masage was".

Getting down with dirty mexican hookers is one thing, but its not something I plan on doing with my pa for a wingman.

 

Toy Story...

Dining out with my husband and four retired partners of his firm as well as a couple of their spouses. Contemplating some dancing fun when we got rid of the old folks, I went to the ladies room and slipped in two ben-wah balls to 'conduct my Kegel exercises'. Sitting back down at the table, sure enough, the darn things slipped back out and each coming to rest in my hose atop of my heel-straps.

Conversation disabled me to get back up at the moment, and somehow I spaced out and forgot about the things at my ankles.

When the dinner finally came to an amicable finale, the ancient founder of the firm and always the gentleman 'jumped' up to assist with my coat when his napkin fell from his lap. Bending his aching back slowly down to get the serviette, and when he 'rapidly' ascended again, he asked quite audibly, yet with total sincerity, "Mrs. Anna, is this a new fashion trend, or did your balls just drop?"

 

Class!

 

my wife gave me a blow jb in our bedroom thinking the kids were outside, after we finished we discovered our 4yr old girl hiding under the bed.

 

ok isn't that just bragging?

 

Oh no!!!

 

My mother in law arranged a bunch of condoms for us(couple) soon after marriage. I did not like to wear during sex,pleasure reduced!

 

no sex, is my most embarrassing.