1. ahorsewithnoname

    ahorsewithnoname Porn Star

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    Well, aside from the standard "make sure your grammar is all in check", after you've written a few paragraphs of conversation, look to see how your sentences start. Do you repeat the same openings? "I don't know why you persist in..." then "I think you should..." then "I was wondering..." and so on. If you can find ways to vary the wording, it makes for more interesting reading, as it would also make for more interesting conversation.

    That's one tip. Would you like another? :)
     
  2. wantsomefun

    wantsomefun Storyteller and Lover

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    Let's hear 'em. Good, natural dialog is surprisingly hard to write sometimes. This is an excellent topic for discussion, since dialog makes a story come alive.
     
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  3. BosoB

    BosoB Newcumer

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    Thank's for the awsome list. It is very helpfull to get some tips and guidlines espacially if english isn't your motherlanguage. :) Edit: sorry next time i need to comment and not reply
     
  4. ahorsewithnoname

    ahorsewithnoname Porn Star

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    Don't be afraid to intersperse dialog with some action. Having the character think, or react, or be puzzled, or something, will add more realism.

    Example without action:

    "Tom, do you think I look fat in this dress?"

    "No, it's not the dress that makes you look fat."

    Example with action:

    "Tom, do you think I look fat in this dress?"

    The hair on the back of Tom's neck bristled, sending red warning flashes to his brain. I need to be careful, he thought to himself, but knowing that he couldn't stall too long on this critical question.

    "No, it's not the dress that makes you look fat."

    By splitting up dialog, you can interject drama, humor, or both, adding to the situation. Note the use of italics to further distinguish thoughts vs. true speech.

    Wantsomefun wrote a story a few years ago about a young woman interacting with her father. The dialog in it was masterful. You might ask him to PM you a copy of it.
     
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  5. ToucanPlay

    ToucanPlay Sex Lover

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    Bump.
     
  6. Wee Hector

    Wee Hector Porn Star

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    Try to find characters' names which will stick in the mind. Nobody is going to be interested in a chap called John Smith, unless you deliberately write him as someone special living under a veil of anonymity. Ian Fleming used some great names: Miss Moneypenny, Mary Goodnight, Pussy Galore. And of course



     
  7. JayneyRedd

    JayneyRedd Porn Star

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    I'm not so sure. Unless you're writing something humorous then a character named Vajina Wetlipps is going to be pretty silly and will detract from the story. If I'm writing about an ordinary person I try to give them a believable, ordinary name. I always felt that Fleming's double-entendre names detracted from the stories.

    I usually think about how old that person is (and when the story is set) and Google popular names from the decade of their birth - for instance I wrote a story about a college-age kid in the present day so I Googled 'popular boys names 1990s' and found Brandon in the top twenty, so he became the main protagonist in my story (and subsequently in @Little Miss K 's compy-winning sequel.
     
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    1. Rutger5
      Generally I agree with what you said about names Jayney. I do have a bit of a double standard in that for a woman's name I prefer to pick one I personally like while going for a strictly generic one for men though in all cases it should reflect the time period and geographic location where the story is set.
       
      Rutger5, Aug 7, 2016
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  8. ahorsewithnoname

    ahorsewithnoname Porn Star

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    I do the exact same thing. Love Google. Sure, it's not old school, but it sure works and makes exacting research that much easier, and much more detailed.

    Google can be so useful, depending upon how anal you wish to be with your story. Need to know what actor starred in an off-Broadway show in 1967? It's there. And, you can even find out what theatre it was performed at. Or, do you need to know what the interior of The Four Seasons looks like in NYC? Simple.

    I think Fleming did use great names and they didn't distract me as a youth growing up. :) Even now I smile at Polly Goodhead. Or Octopussy. I mean, let's face it, the movies are a bit campy, and the humor injected by the various Bonds ... well ... it's just another piece of humor by Mr. Fleming.
     
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    1. JayneyRedd
      Agreed that Fleming's names added humour, but I felt that the humour was misplaced, in the books at least, which were much harder-hitting and graphic than the movies. I like the films, and you're right the campy humour fits the tone of the movies, especially the 1970's Roger Moore era.

      I do like the harsher tone of the recent films though - and Daniel Craig in budgie-smugglers is irresistible! :redface:
       
      JayneyRedd, Aug 7, 2016
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    2. ejls
      The only time I google names is if I want to add a little more realism to a story taking place in another country. Generally, I have an idea of what my character will look like, and try to pick a name to suit them.
       
      ejls, Aug 7, 2016
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    3. Wee Hector
      I have to agree with you, Jayney. I didn't like Roger Moore, though the films were good. Daniel Craig has brought the series back to what it should have been.
       
      Wee Hector, Aug 7, 2016
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  9. Wee Hector

    Wee Hector Porn Star

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    Okay, one shouldn't use silly names just for the sake of it but choosing a name for a character can have a great influence on the way people look on him/her. Just look at Harry Potter. Wizards are supposed to have strange names but the two central characters are called Harry Potter and Tom Riddle because these names are ordinary and are deliberately chosen to hide the powers that they have.

    In the case of Bond, his own name sets him in an undercover role. It's somewhat unimpressive. Baddies are called Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Francisco Scaramanga, Auric Goldfinger, because nobody would believe in a supervillain called Sid Jones or Fred Brown. Even so, Bond is called James and not Jim, Bob or Sam, so there is still a sense of nobility in the name and "Bond, James Bond" rolls off the tongue far better than "Bint, James Bint" due to the low, lingering "o" sound rather than the short, high "i".

    Names can also be used to create substories in a novel. Many years ago I wanted to write a novel in the style of Tom Sharpe, based in a public school in England. It would be impossible to publish it nowadays due to the many scandals of female teachers having affairs with teenage pupils. The main character Richard Poor (giving the novel its title of Rich and Poor) is seduced by teacher Lesbiana "Liz" Dike (she turned up here in one of my stories). The second major is Thesper Ignatio Parts (his father told him you need an impressive name to get a job as an Ambassador) is known as "The Spare Parts".

    As for looking on Google for favourite names, I totally despair for the future as parents look for more exotic names. I recently saw a crime page where the black offender was called Shitius. With a name like that how else can you turn out?
     
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  10. JayneyRedd

    JayneyRedd Porn Star

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    I shitius you not! :D Sounds like something out of Life Of Brian, Shitius was a friend of Biggus Dickus!
     
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  11. tonybs

    tonybs Porn Star

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    For names, the most useful thing I've found is the raw data from the Social Security administration: https://www.ssa.gov/open/data/ They have the (almost) complete data set of baby names from 1910 onwards, there's also the version by state.

    So I know that in 1995 (in the US), Brandon was the 8th most popular boy's name 26,901 were named Brandon, as well as 7 Brandonns, and 86 girls named Brandon (it was the 1706th most popular girls name).

    I use them to choose or confirm names. I can look up the most popular names, or medium popular names, or not so popular names. Or you can confirm than the name was used, like there are no Jayneys listed in 1980 (which means there were less than 5), but there were 13 Jaynies. (There are no Jayneys in the entire data set.) Or there were really girls called Zeena in 1995 (8 of them).

    I've also used the data to transpose names in time, like in 1980 Gina was the 100th most popular girls name. In 2000, the 100th most popular was Cassandra.

    (Yes, I'm a geek.)

    And talking of James Bond, Fleming wanted a bland name. He wanted the action to speak for itself, and the name was just something to hang it on.
     
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  12. Rutger5

    Rutger5 Sex Machine

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    People can choose any name no matter how ridiculous it sounds for their child but at the rate things are going I shudder to think where its headed. A football player just retired from the NY Jets whose first name was D'Brickashaw and while its clear it didn't affect him negatively the quest for unique names is just another sign of our strange times.
     
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  13. HisBabyGirl

    HisBabyGirl Porn Star

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    As a reader, I appreciate seeing the writing community interact like this. It shows me that you all care, not only for yourselves but for each other and for your readers. As only a reader, I really enjoy the story more than anything else. A tale that transports me anywhere from my little home, is number one in my book. Yes, this is a porn site, but for me the sex is secondary to interesting characters in a great story.
     
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  14. Wee Hector

    Wee Hector Porn Star

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    The Beckhams called their son Brooklyn because that is where they said he was conceived. Just imagine if it had been in Eccles, Chopwell, Misery or Anus (all real places). And what about those poor women who were named after every first-team member of their dad's favourite football team.
     
    1. Wee Hector
      My next major character, son of Ted Frumpett, is going to be called Philaelius Fortitude Frumpett for the aforementioned reason that you need an impressive name to get on in life.
       
      Wee Hector, Aug 7, 2016
  15. Hickorystick

    Hickorystick Sex Machine

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    I have a suggestion, used it once or twice. Was kinda fun too. Stories always need a good setting. Sometimes we cant all afford to jump on a plane and visit a place we want to write about. The other problem is if we could just jump on a plane, alot of places arent quite what we expect and the story flies away.

    Using Google maps Ive taken the proverbial "trip without having ever left the farm" by finding a place and then going to street view and taking a walk through the streets. In a lot of cases it can really help you get a real feel for the place. Not as good as being there but better than a picture book or brochures from the chamber of commerce.
     
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  16. CharlesWolf

    CharlesWolf Porno Junky

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    I'm new to writing erotic fiction, but with few exceptions, I can't see spending a lot of time describing locations in the story unless they specifically tie into the erotic parts of the story (a strip club, a sex dungeon, etc.).

    I think describing the people and what they are or aren't wearing and their mannerisms would be the big thing as well as describing what and how they do to each other.

    And I agree, dialogue is important too.
     
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  17. ahorsewithnoname

    ahorsewithnoname Porn Star

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    You did qualify this by saying you are new to writing erotic fiction. What you need to decide is whether you wish to write porn or erotic fiction. Both have their places, both have their audiences, neither will win you a Pulitzer (most likely). But what you described is the formula for writing porn. For better or for worse:

    She's got 38DD knockers with big ass nipples that you could hang clothes off of. I told her I was gonna' suck on that big ass clit of hers until she begged for mercy.

    Porn. Jack or Jill off material. Written better, written worse, it's porn. And porn is fine, but call porn porn.

    Her large breasts contrasted with her rather slender physique, giving her a pixie look that was out of place in the art deco, Greenwich Village apartment. As the sun's rays penetrated the gabardine drapes, I was captivated at the path they created. Dancing across her taut abdomen, seemingly setting fire to her already red pubes, my eyes now zeroed in on her clit which protruded slightly beyond her lust-thickened labia.

    Erotic fiction.

    The difference is ... no. I will leave that up to others to detail.
     
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  18. Hickorystick

    Hickorystick Sex Machine

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    After veiwing the comments that followed my suggestion above, I took a moment to think and decide if I should say more. I understand that most are only trying to better their writting skills for the purposes of xnxx. My suggestion was for all writers. Since the "xnxx only" wasnt specified I felt at liberty to share. Ill just keep my ideas n comments to myself in the future.

    (Unwatching thread)
     
    1. DarkThunder
      Imo, what you said is a good idea. Even erotic stories can benefit from it. In a story I recently wrote, I researched the location, through pictures mostly (and I had some previously knowledge about it), proximity of some other places, and the 'activity' so to speak, to make it as realistic as possible. It's not a necessity, but...

      No reason not to add your ideas here.
       
      DarkThunder, Aug 19, 2016
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  19. CharlesWolf

    CharlesWolf Porno Junky

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    I guess. Between the 2 examples you provided, I think I liked the first one more; it had an energy to it.

    Reading it again, the second example was OK, but felt like it was on the verge of getting wrapped up in itself.
     
  20. ahorsewithnoname

    ahorsewithnoname Porn Star

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    Then you preferred porn. Think of the above examples as film. The first would be porn, shot in a studio, two people going at it like there's no tomorrow. It's great if you goal is to get off.

    The second would be more mainstream, perhaps what you might find on Cinemax late at night. There's a story that goes with the sex.

    The two examples were extreme hyperbole to illustrate the difference in writing style, not an attempt at literary mastery.

    The point is that if you're looking to develop an audience of followers, if you're looking to potentially make the transition from "xnxx" to mainstream, you need to learn how to tell a compelling story, and with that, you need to be able to research and develop, and draw the reader deep into the story so that they won't be tempted to put it down until they're done. Accomplish that and you've earned your keep for the day. I'm not saying the sexuality of the story needs to be compromised.
     
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