A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous
pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2016 7 Series BMW advanced
toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci
shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and
asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and
calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his Apple i phone, and surfs to a NASA page on
the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix
on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite
that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution
photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad that the image
has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an
MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with
email on his Galaxy S5 and, after a few minutes, receives a
response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says,
"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his
car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what
your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The
young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S Government", says Bud.

"Wow!
That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess
that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I
already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of
dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter
than me you are; and you don't know crap about how working
people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.This is a
herd of sheep”

“Now give me back my dog.”

AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.

 

So you're saying the problem is farmers who feel inadequate because someone drives a BMW?

 

It is funny joke

 

No it's not, slightly humorous it may be.....but funny, shit no.

 

Tough crowd tonight.

 

I thought it was funny.

 

You know @Mr Smith 36 you hatful, racist, phony, lying coward when I cut and paste something I almost always include the headline and put the text in quotes so people don't get the wrong impression that I came up with it myself. Like what you are doing here with something you lifted directly off The Whatcom Tea Party site.

Just another example of just how dishonest you are to your core.

 

It's a joke, son... I say a joke.

 

You can tell Grandma wrote this because it lacks any understanding of any piece of technology mentioned.

What is it with you guys and these shitty chain E-mails?

 

I don't get no respect!

 

It was a Cingular RAZR V3 cellphone btw and the BMW was a 2008 model, the same year that really really really really really really dry "joke" was copyrighted by Kiven Hopper ...

Just thought I would provide the facts so people can't call it fake news LOL.

BUT good one you for trying to lighten the mood here with an attempt at humor Smith, you get points for that at least and it is a little bit funny in a "look at the dumb yuppie" sort of way without mentioning his political persuasion ...

One thought though, I'm guessing the suit was a "Brioni" knockoff and was really a "Jabroni" made in China LOL.

Next time just post a picture of your avatar with a "check out this joke" message and you will have people in stitches laughing so hard ...

"A guy walks into a bar with a duck under his arm" ... fuck it that one is too funny for this thread lol.

 

Aw c'mon man, let us hear it... Most everyone enjoys a funny joke. You lib's google EVERYTHING don't cha... even jokes. I don't know whether to be impressed or bewildered.

 

A blonde got sick and tired of people telling her dumb blonde jokes so she goes and dyes her hair black. The next day she is driving down the road and sees a farmer with his sheep. She pulls over and says "Hey farmer, if I guess how many sheep you have can I take one home?" The farmer said yes. The blonde looks over the sheep and says "253." The farmer says "Unbelievable .. that's right." So the blonde walks up and grabs the first one she sees. Then the farmer comes up to her and says. "If I guess your true hair color can I have my dog back?" Don't quit your day job Mr. Smith.

 

You don't deserve any

 

Do you think I really needed to Google this to tell it's a chain email?

And on top of that, seeking information is bad now? No wonder you're all so in/misinformed. That explains a lot.

 

Here's a funny:

 

We're like children in the third grade, aren't we... It's funny though when you stop and think about it.

 

Found the farmer's yardsign:

 

OK now these are actually funny. And reminds me of the Tea Party member at a protest over passing the ACA who was holding up a sign that read; "Keep your god damned government hands off my Medicare."