A Road Map to XNXX

tatbig123 · Feb 13, 2019

Lucy2111 said: ↑

Horny Babe
Click to expand...

Niknick1743 · Feb 15, 2019

Any women from la area?

ela6996 · Feb 15, 2019

Blkchubbibunni · Feb 18, 2019

Love it

Jayeey · Feb 19, 2019

Like the advice made me chuckle. Silverbacks new one on me haha. Going to have to check if the curly wurlys are still being sold in UK, sure i had one couple of years ago??

naughtygirl666 · Feb 21, 2019

Awww I miss Richie was such a fun guy, especially on my footy thread.

Hol lee fuck · Feb 23, 2019

StanleyOG said: ↑

A Road Map to XNXX
created by Richief

Welcome and remember you can never escape.

General Discussion

This was designed as a place where we can rationally discuss all topics. In reality it is a place where we argue and fight like children in a school-yard, we will scream and spit,create alliances and break them with wild abandon. Occasionally socks run wild and appear to be taking over the board. There is nothing that we will not row over, except for spammers who we all hate. There is in here something to offend everyone. A fun place to be.

A word of warning for all you ladies or people pretending to be ladies, once you activate your account you will notice a minor miracle, I am of course referring to the almost instantaneous overloading of your box, not that one but rather your VM in-box. You will receive countless messages along the lines of.

1. “Do u wanna suk my cok”?
2. “Do u wanna feel my cok in ur ass”?
3. “Oh baby let me dominate u”.
4. Because there always is a four.
5. “Hey bitch get on ur nees and suk me”.
6. “Hey, where the fuck is my dinner”?
Sadly the spelling and grammar of these escapees from “sexuality”(more of this later) is below the average of a banjo playing, mountain dwelling extra from “Deliverance”. We can do little to repel these drooling morons so it is best to ignore them, apart from the last one as I am always ready for dinner and will provide you with ample restitution in the form of Curly Wurlys.

Also we get overrun by fools who can not read the Stickies and continually make threads begging us to let them know how to disable their accounts and get rid of all their posts, this we cannot do nor can the mods, so once you are in your are in for life.

A further point about "Threads". You will make a thread it may be serious, it may meant to be humorous, but it will no doubt be derailed so often that it resembles spaghetti on a plate and you will feel the need for a map to navigate its Byzantine curves and turns, don't worry about it there is nothing you can do but accept the fact that we are kids and like kids have a short attention span.

One more point for GD, remember to check where you think your thread should go, if you are asking about pictures there is a whole board for that, it would be a good place to post your rate my cock pictures, as you can post pictures there also. Read on further and you will realize what goes where.

Pic and movie posts. Sub-basement one.

This is a place to post pictures and movie clips that you like; you will find threads of female members taking their clothes off to wild applause from the males, and some females. (The sort who wear sensible shoes and horn rim glasses and always seem to be without male company). You will also find threads where guys ask you to "Rate my Cock", what the fuck this place has to do with chickens I don't know. A nice place to see the human form in all its shapes and sizes and boy are there some weird shapes and immense sizes in there.

Word of warning. Images of children (under 18s), bestiality, people & dogs having sex, (dog on dog is allowed and so is dog on bitch) and scat (pictures of people with number twos on their chest or elsewhere) are all banning offenses.

Sex Stories. Sub-basement 2

Self-explanatory, a place to post sex stories for a review of members before posting in the Stories Forum. Some really dirty stuff in there, it could be shocking to an innocent young girl so be careful, or not.

Tales of underage sex (16, 13 who knows it keeps changing, bet to avoid the underage crap all together) is a banning offence. I know it is a weird age but it is something to do with freedom of expression. 16 or more is OK, E.L.)

Sexuality. Sub-basement three

Be really careful if you are going to enter this place as it is full of the weirdest kind of deviants, if you enter without caution we may never see you again until they throw out your dried out husk of a body. Anything is discussed in here, there is nothing they have not thought of or will not devise, some of the stuff they wish to do is so fucking weird that I cannot even begin to describe it, nothing is off limits to this crowd, egg and chicken, daddy love, mommy love, brother on sister, brother on brother, and the implements they talk about scare me so I will say no more.

Do not enter unless you have told someone where you are going, your expected exit strategy and time; also have a rescue team on standby.

We are losing up to three members a week in there; in the near future I will be putting together a general rescue party to fetch a few out.(Still looking for volunteers, we lost two training teams recently so things are not looking so good.

Personals. Sub-basement four.

This place is inhabited by the most desperate of our members, the will advertise for many sorts of weird stuff, there are people looking for people in all the major population areas of the US, there are guys who want to pretend to be your daddy or your son, girls who are old enough to be your grandma want to be somebodies “naughty lil gal”, even guys and gals who want to be each other’s brothers or sisters, weird as fuck to some of us but normal to them, I guess they love playing the banjo and have lots of FLKs too. Be really careful of the following, young nubile nymphomaniacs as they are usually “Silverbacks” (See below).

Games forum. Sub-basement five,

The safest and most fun place in the house, here you can have fun with a variety of games that will amuse you, (except the one where they are trying to count to a million, fucking idiots) wander in and have fun it is like a virtual theme park.

Miscellaneous items.

Friends and friend’s requests.

Friend whores - The people who feel the need for a high friend count and constantly send requests to folk they do not know and have never interacted with. These people are usually ignored.

I'm new be my friend - These people appear to be needy and send out requests like confetti at a wedding. Again these are generally ignored (complete needy types who will turn into bunny boilers if you befriend them and then ignore once or twice).

The best way to get noticed is to post regularly in the GD, be witty and insightful, you can even be argumentative, chat to the people on the boards and even using PMs, then when people know you a little better they will usually accept requests from people of a similar ilk.

Silverbacks.

These people are the sort to be avoided at all costs; they are the most dangerous of all. What is a silverback I hear you cry, well they are like this.

Imagine if you will a poorly lit cellar, with a computer table and chair, surrounded by tables on either side for drinks and refreshments.

Sitting in the chair is a guy of around 300lb wearing deck shoes and ankle socks, Bermuda shorts and a string vest, due to his vitamin D deficiency he is as pale to the point of almost being an albino, his hair, what is left of it, is grey and lank and held back in a ponytail,

You may think he is sat there in a smart grey sweater but that is because of his overly long back hair pushing through the holes of the vest.

Sitting in his hunched position he resembles, in shape only, the Alpha male of a Mountain Gorilla troop, or silverback as they are known

Now you know his habitat and appearance let’s talk of his life mission, his raison d'être for being on the 'net.

He is constantly roaming the "sexuality" and "personals" boards looking for young males that he can persuade that he is a nubile young girl inher sexual prime that is looking for a good time online, he will then get them to live out their fantasies over the net, he will slowly reel in his prey with little tidbits such as “oh baby you feel so big” or “yeah baby fuck my ass and make me scream” with the occasional “let me suck your big cock”.

Whilst doing this he his stroking his cock with one hand while the other holds his meat pie or pasty. Once he has tired of them he lets them know his true identity leaving the victim feeling like he as swam through the sewage pipe of an Indonesian prison, some never recover from the shock and go on to become internet born again Christians whose mission in life is to ruin porn for us all.

A Special mention for Igor.

Igor is our specially trained lift attendant, you only need to whisper what you need and he will whisk you down to the right floor, sadly he is not allowed to except monetary tips, but any spare and warm body part is welcome.

He is easily recognizable as being of the tribe of "Igor's" as he has a humpback, orbital dystopia, an exotic series of scars and stitches adorn his face, like many Igor's he has an extra thumb stitched onto either hand (You can never have to much of a good thing), he is club footed and talks with a lisp. Or you could just read his name badge. If it is his day off his sister Igorina will be standing in for him, the females of the tribe of Igor's are surprisingly beautiful with long dark hair and none of the males apparent disabilities. As an added bonus all Igor's and Igorina's are adept surgeons so the threat of losing any limb or bits that stick out is nothing to worry about, just make sure you get the right bit with the right person, there is nothing worse than waking up with a leg more used to stockings next to one that would not be out of place in a rugby scrum.

And finally.

Never even think about messing with the curly wurly trade, that is my business and I guard it jealously. Other inferior chocolate and sweets you can mess with as much as you like, but keep your hands of my eight inches of magnificence.

Welcome and enjoy

Richie

All of the above can be taken with a pinch of salt and treated as a little fun, apart from the Curly Wurly warning, that of course is the damn truth.
Click to expand...

Thanks

1 Toy Maker · Feb 25, 2019

Lol

Akeelah Merin · Mar 1, 2019

This is the best thing I read all day!!!!

1 Toy Maker · Mar 2, 2019

Amusing he was.

conroe4 · Mar 2, 2019

OK, so I ordered a case of curly wurlys. Had to try the buggers after such a hubris. Cadbury, from England.
Well, I figured they were at the bottom of Trinity Bay, when that 767 from Amazon nosed in with a full cargo, but alas, they
arrived 3 days later. They were not soggy... much to my aghast, the mail lady got one from me before I could try one myself. She gets salsa too <and the recipe>

So I peeled away, and took my first bite. Hmm, kinda sticky. Good taste. Caramel...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
mmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Damn, that candy bar got better and better the further I got toward the end. Then it sucked that it was gone.

So, I left half a candy bar in my secret hidden from SWMBO drawer, and damned if it didn't disappear overnight!

And come to find out, if ya add a couple of pecan halves with each bite, ya got yourself a Turtle...my most favorite.
Thanks Richief! May you rest in peace.

Maimakau · Mar 4, 2019

Ty for this post

memb23 · Mar 6, 2019

@Baylee once you make so many posts, I believe it’s 10 in a thread or some of your own it allows you to pm. If you have any questions feel free to ask

Bi-curious-mwm · Mar 7, 2019

@StanleyOG trying to get a shared profile activated, but somehow it was banned before being approved. I did click on the link in the email that was sent. Please help out!

lexigurl66 · Mar 10, 2019

I want to write stories

Enrique99 · Mar 10, 2019

I enjoy talking to some people in here . This is not just about porn but interesting other subjects which is nice . I also enjoy taking to a couple of people in Spanish and French

Enrique99 · Mar 10, 2019

spell check : Talking not taking sorry about that

manrod · Mar 12, 2019

Wish I could have seen the road map when I first started here. I had to find my way around by traveling blind through a minefield.

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A Road Map to XNXX

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