I am nor a start neither an end!!
i live my in between days the very BEST...
Well....
these lines are not by all means against all these[ Guys mainly] who want to '' Play '' Dominants .These words are just a path to follow if you like to be a Real Dominant and not just a Guy who is out there in trans .
Domination is not just a Game...it is a way of life
Being A Dominant means that more of the times your words can do better than your hands!!
Being A Dominant is when you can protect the submissive soul in front of you. It does not mean only to dominate her , it is more a sense of emotional security.

“The strongest and most effective force in guaranteeing the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated, but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.”


So do remember guys...
when your submissive female in front of you says the magic word ''NO''
dont try to impose your self to her!! Do not yellow at her..and do not
push her too far!!!
No matter what the only thing that you will manage is to be marked as a tricky and Fake Dom....
So....
it is not the '' No''' word that makes you vulnerable....
it is your way to Feel Dominant when you still are a simple Man....


Many men who are unsuccessful in the outer world - workplace etc - try to make up for it by dominating women, thinking they are the "weaker" sex and an easy mark and it's an easy way to make themselves feel better. This has "loser" all over it, and the only women who will put up with this type of guy are desperate or confused or very young and haven't figured things out yet.
Remember that from the woman's point of view, the ideal male is so confident in his skin, he doesn't have to be mean to women to feel good. On the contrary, he treats his lady with respect and consideration. Note that the man doesn't have to have a ton of money or drive a flash car - he just needs to be respected and rated by his peers because he knows what he's doing, has self-esteem and is thought of as a sound bloke.

I agree with dancer that "dominant" may be the wrong word here. Dominant implies "control". Women are looking for someone confident and strong rather than controlling.

" The loving Dominant", it is a really good book that will guide you thought the beginning of BDSM and how to be a wonderful dominant.

Don't give orders

When you give orders, you tell someone to do something. "Put that file on my desk", is an order. So is, "put Roger on the late shift". When you give an order, you do not allow the other person any latitude to think about what to do or how to do it. All they can do to satisfy your order is exactly what you ordered. There are two reasons why this is bad. First, you do not allow the person to figure out the best way to do the task. Second, you do not let them learn.

Sometimes it is appropriate to give orders. In the military, there are times when a leader has to give orders. When you tell a squad to "charge that hill" you don't want them to think about it. You just want it done. However, even in the military, leaders don't give orders unless they have to. Instead of giving orders and telling someone what to do, good managers give instructions. Instead of telling them what to do, you tell them what you want done.
Give instructions instead

When you tell an employee what you want done, instead of giving an order, you give them the freedom to come up with their best way of getting that task done. It may not always be the best way, and you may have to do some monitoring and guiding, but there is also the chance that they will come up with something better than what you planned. When an employee is given an instruction instead of an order, they have to think. They can't just do what they were told and say they were following orders. They have to think of ways to get the job done. They have to decide which is the best way. They have to invest a little of themselves in the solution.
Also, when you give an employee an instruction, instead of an order, and let them decide for themselves the best way to accomplish the task, you are more likely to get their buy-in and support. If they have made the decision about the best way to accomplish the task they are more likely to believe it is correct and valuable. They will defend it against others who question it.
Be clear

Orders are generally very clear. "Get the report to me by Thursday morning", does not leave much room for interpretation. So when you give instructions, instead of orders, you need to be as clear about what results you expect. Instead of saying, "I'd like you to review the past month's data and get back to me on it", be more precise. For example, you could say, "Please review the past month's data. By Monday morning, I expect your recommendation of the best course and a couple of alternatives for ways to close more sales.” Or you could say, "By our meeting on Friday, I want you to have consolidated all the department's projects into a single master schedule. I want you to tell me where we are over committed and where we have excess capacity.”
When you give instructions instead of orders there is a tendency to be less clear about the expected outcome. A good manager makes instructions clear.

A good Dominant does the same!!!



So, what are some dominant male traits that you should now acquire and affix in your arsenal?
1. Never be submissive. Never be weak. Never seek approval from others on how they should behave in a social situation.
2. Never shy away from conversations or meeting with new people
3. Never pay much mind to what others think of you. Take control of YOUR reality. Be your own authority.
4. When in a group of men and women, dominant males know that it's "Them" who the girls want to sleep with. This can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
5. Your life is what you make of it. The future is yours.
Guys, being a dominant male, is all about your attitude and projecting the image that you are fun to be with, that you are in control, and not a nice wimpish guy.

​

Alessandro
ps./ Still learning and still voyaging
I am not the Perfect Dom.....but i do know what to do to Dominate my lost soul
Thanks to all the guys here (!)
and to the beautiful Female submissive out there:rose:

 

Good thread Needtopee! And very well thought out.

 

I really think everyone should take a look at this, it's fitting for both sides of the relationship.

 

Thank you indeed knoxvillainswife

A Dom who learns to teach is much more useful than a priest [ Alessandro@]

 

A sub with a good Dom doesn't need a priest.

 

I am not a sub, but there are some basics in the OP that are (imo) crucial to a healthy relationship of any life style. I think the key words are respect and confidence . Without those two, you travel down a one way road....:rose::rose:

 

dominatemeplease

THAT IS TRUE.....
THAT IS WHY I GOOD DOM CAN TEACH YOU MORE THAN A PRIEST...
AND FOR SURE HE CAN BE THE BEST EXORCIST YOU MAY COME UP TO..

 

NoTopNoCollar

THAT IS CORRECT MY DEAR...
AND AS A WOMAN ONCE TOLD...
[FONT=arial, Arial, Helvetica]Submission without domination is when you keep doing what he wants even after he keeps insisting he doesn't want it. Domination without submission is when he keeps telling you to do something and you keep telling him to fuck off.[/FONT]

 

:excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited:
I'm sorry, I know this is inappropriate but your comment made me think of a friend who uses the chauvinistic line on all his female friends: Go bake me a pie...which brought a huge grin to my face and reminded of a horrible joke that most would take offense to:
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothin..
Ya done told her twice
and please...ladies...don't take offense...I have an off kilter sense of humor sometimes:rose::rose::rose::rose::rose::rose:

 

Could be my husband.... apparently a young underage woman was flirting with him at work today and wanted him to go buy her booze... so illegal on two strikes.
He finally said if she came over, did his dishes, washed his floor, ad nauseum, he'd give her the spanking her Dad obviously neglected to give her. She was so mad she was spitting.

 

THE LIVE TARGET

The Live Target

Now that we know more about the implements, let's look to the subject of our passion for a moment: your submissive/slave/bottom/lover/mate/friend. These guidelines assume your target is a normal, healthy adult, with no pervious injury or other physical limitation. You have, of course, already discussed these matters with your intended target and will make necessary adjustments to avoid specific problem areas. Caution and good judgment are required. Visualize her/her back, and draw an X. Start at the shoulder blades and end at the top of the buttocks. This is zone 1, and area of mostly light play. This is not like the movies; harsh strikes in this area will cause damage to the skin and underlying structures. In some cases serious and irreparable damage. AVOID THE HEAD AND NECK AT ALL TIMES.
Starting at the tops of the X is the shoulder area. On most people, this area is lightly muscled and can be struck with care. You can flog upon the back, and you can also use whips, if you are accurate and controlled in your strikes. Adjust your distance and throw to guard against "wrapping " over the shoulder or around the body. Draw an imaginary line 2 to 3 inches down from the shoulders and concentrate landing the ends of the flogger or whip on the top points of the X, avoiding the center of the X for hard flogging or whipping. An occasional mis-strike may land in the spinal area, but the spine should never be the intended target.
The bottom of the X should be avoided completely by most. A good rule of thumb is to feel the bottom of the rib cage on the back and avoid the area below the ribs where the muscle starts. Under a very thin layer of muscle and fat lie the kidneys and other vital organs. With time and skill you will be able to lightly work the surface of this area.
I have saves the best for last! Zone two! The buttocks, bottom, butt, tush, fanny you know that cute thing your Submissive or Bottom sits on, but not for long! This is an area of muscle and fat that you can use a much heavier strike on with less fear of damage. Remember the best sensation is built up slowly, light to heavy. I have found that the best technique is to find the point where it's just starting to hurt, and hold the Tempo and "force " of the Blow right there :::grin::: I also vary the area. Hitting the same spot repeatedly may cause your subject to squirm more, but it also leads to deep bruising. Try to avoid repeated Hard strikes in a limited area.
Other areas for light play include the chest or breasts, the belly, the inner arm, the inner thigh and back of the thigh. And for the most extreme sensation, the bottoms of the feet. There are more nerve endings in the bottom of the feet than most anywhere in the body (with the exception of the palms of the hands and the lips) and they are very close to the surface. Remember that the feet are made up of dozens of small, delicate bones, which are easily damaged. The same nerve endings, which create those delicious sensations, may also be damaged by improper or excessive sensation play.
Remember, harder in sensation play is not necessarily better! To me Longer is better. In a preliminary or a punishment scene, time varies, as long or short as you like as it does not matter. But intense sensation sessions should be built slowly for maximum effect. The general response to sensation play, in most, is much the same as if the subject has run a marathon. The sensation in itself is not traumatic, but it does involve rhythmic vibration and exertion related to exercise. Any sensation session should be treated as a workout. Liquids will be needed. Over heating must be watched as well as heart rate. You should have towels, septic pencils, antibiotic creams and so forth. A first aid kit as well as a CPR course are very good ideas.
Most importantly, great care must be taken not to strike the spine directly and repeatedly or the back of the neck, fact, etc. Practice with your toys before playing with your partner will improve your accuracy and strokes to avoid mis-hits to these areas.
Sensation play, good sensation play (like when you have to walk your pet to the couch and tell them their name) takes time. Most sensation sessions I do take from 2 to 4 hours, often more. Yes, I am darn tired when I am done but it is well worth it. Another little hint is showmanship - yes, a modicum of acting. You are creating a fantasy, not fixing a toaster. Big movements, acting, whispering in their ear. You are creating a world. Fill it with fantasy."