I use to be a cheater with gf's but My wife changed me for the better and have never considered cheating. If it came down to it which i doubt it will i would def talk to her bout our sex issue and if nothing comes out of it ask what should happen and do about the needs of myself.

 

No I don't get enough. I would like to, though. Im not a cheater by nature so if I did, I would tell her I'm scoring on the side because I need more sex than what I am getting. generally our sex life is good, so I can complain too much.

 

Wow! First of all---I want a monogamous marriage and that is what I signed up for. I did NOT change the rules about sex in my marriage. My wife, for whatever reasons, lost her interest in sex long before I even gave a thought to cheating. You can go ahead and judge me for not having the strength to live without sex but given the agreement that you have with your husband, I doubt that you have much personal experience with that particular temptation. Second---divorce is a terrible option, in my opinion, and I still hold out hope that something will change that will return my otherwise good marriage into a great and sexually fulfilling marriage. Believe it or not, but my role as a father was and is very important to me and I will never give it up willingly by means of a divorce. And let's look at these "sorry assed" excuses from the other angle. Have you ever given thought that maybe the reason my wife doesn't like sex anymore or pay any attention to me is because SHE is the one who wants out of the marriage but doesn't want to divorce because of the kids? Maybe SHE is the one who is lying to me when she says she loves me? Third---I have asked my wife many, many times if there are emotional or physical reasons why she doesn't like sex. Her reply has always been "NO". If she had answered yes, then there is at least something to work on and I would be the first in line to support her and help find a solution. Put yourself in my shoes when given an answer like that. Pretend for a minute that your husband no longer wants sex with you and has no real answer as to why. Now pretend that he expects you to remain faithful to him and him only, in every way regardless of your past agreements. Pretend that this goes on for many years with little or no change in his attitude. Pretend that you truly love him and do not wish to divorce since there are many, many other aspects of your marriage that you value. Pretend that you have an opportunity to enjoy sex with someone other than your husband without him finding out. I hope that the day never comes for you when you don't get to pretend anymore and you find yourself with a real decision to make.

 

A real decision is weather or not to cheat on a person yo incl aim to love so much that you cant divorce her?

So instead you lie and cheat. Think (without your dick) for just five seconds about the kind of hurt, pain, sadness, etc your wife, this woman you claim to love, would feel if she ever found out about what your doing. Especially if she had to find out by way of her next drs vist where an STD is discovered. All your excuses, are sorry. Just as I said before.

Not that the dynamics of my marraige is any of your concern but, if my husband ever did say any of what you describe. I WOULD ACCEPT IT. I would remain strong and have more self control then to just cheat on him. Just because my husband and I are polyam doesnt mean I havent gone without sex. I have gone without sex, probably a lot longer then you have. I have the freedoms to go where ever or to whoever I want for sex, but most of the time I reach for a toy if my husband is unavailable for whatever reason. I do this because I would rather have my husband, and most guys rank in at about a 2 on the good sex scale. Just because I know it will be brought up, the reason my husband and I are polyam is because thats the way he likes it. When we got together I hated the idea,(i was an innocent) but quickly realized that it wasnt because he wanted other people without me, he wanted to share these things with me. Also I quickly found out that if there were things I couldnt or wouldnt do for him, I could watch someone else do it for him. HIS pleasure is the most important part of sex for me. Period. Even if I dont enjoy it but he does. I get pleasure from knowing he was enjoying him self. If I could never have sex wth anyone but my husband again, even if it was once a year, or every leap year I would be faithful, and happy.

Also let me take this time to say that while you may not want a divorce and she wont even talk about how to fix the sex, then she deserves to at least know what your doing. You say you love being a father, is that what you want to teach your kids.. Its okay to cheat on your spouse if your not getting your way? You can claim the kids dont know but eventually your lies will surface, or you'll get caught. Then you lose them anyways because do you honestly think your wife is going to be okay with it all if you simply say "i cheated because I love you and didnt wanna leave you"?

Rediculous the way men think sometimes.

 

it hurts a man who truely loves his wife...when he thinks she doesn't desire him. Just like it hurts us when we aren't told we are beautiful or that we look nice

 

Oh how true Mrstennbabe!

 

Extremely true but I can just about promise finding out you have been lied to, cheated on, and humiliated for months is worse.

Especially if she doesnt even know why she isnt interested in sex anymore, and its hurting her just as much as it is him but she cant bring her self to talk about it because there doesnt seem to be a solution.

I was blessed with a sex drive that could rival a teenage boys, and if one day it just stopped without warning, and my dr couldnt figure it out I would be heartbroken and very reluctant to have to talk about it if I saw no way to fix it. Talks like always turn into one person getting pissed and demanding to know how there can not be a solution and the other person feeling worse then ever simply because they have an issue they cant fix that isnt even their fault. Now add finding out your love cheated and lied because of something that wasnt your fault.

Im not saying live without sex, I am simply saying be honest. Honesty isnt too much to ask of someone.
I have never and will never understand lying.

 

Try asking your wife if she will jack you off to porn and then she can pick one and you can eat her out to it.

Are you a cuckold?

I am sure if your wife saw this post she would fuck your brains out. Good luck.

After about 10 years we learn to ask for what you want.

A bit of a rant! What you are basically saying is be honest. What most women hate about cheating is the being lied to part not the having sex with someone else part.

+1

A little tip guys. Next time you are on your way to bed get a glass of water and a couple of aspirins. Offer them to your wife when she is in bed. When she says "but I do not have a headache honey" and take it from there.

Thinskin

 

AV. One of the things that frustrates me about this conversation is this idea that somehow lying is the worst thing that could ever be done, to her! What about what she has done? My wife is not only uninterested in sex, she is also uninterested in changing anything about our sex life. She has made her non existent desire for sex the standard for our marriage. I did not get to vote in that election! If she told me that I couldn't watch football anymore-because she doesn't like it--should I be a mindful little husband and sigh longingly at the blank tv on Sunday afternoons? If she decided that we are no longer going to eat meat---should I be a good little boy and mind my wife while the neighbor cooks steaks on his grill? If she no longer enjoys riding in the car---should I peddle my fat ass off while biking her all over town just to keep the peace? These may be poor analogies, but my point is that sex and marriage were meant to go together and when one of the people in a marriage decide that they can have their way and the other has to just live with it, then part of that marriage is not working, in my opinion. We could argue all day about who actually broke their vows first.

 

Maybe what she really wants is you to drag her upstairs, push her head in the pillow and pump her arse so she cannot walk for a week. She just does not know how to word it.

Thinskin

 

Thanks for the idea. That may be one way to get her to talk about it!

 

I can say...nothing would make me feel sexier, and a turn on to my husband....than for him to rip my clothes off and just fuck the shit out of me!

 

I think you misunderstand what I am saying. Im not saying be a good little boy and live with whatever your wife says. Im saying be HONEST. If she wants nothing to do with changing the current setting your sex life is then flat out tell her what you plan to do.stop going behind her back and lying. For all thecrap you posted up there its the same, if she came to you and said "look no more meat for us ever" you'd raise hell wouldnt you? Demand to know why she has decided to make this decision for both of you, etc. Then I am sure you would proceed to tell her that your not going to stop eating meat just because she doesnt want it anymore. Same thing with sex.

Im not saying become a monk, Im just saying have some respect for your wife, yourself, and whatever girl you use to get your rocks off. Just be honest.

 

EXACTLY. MY. POINT.

 

I can see that sex is more important to you than the relationship or your spouse's feelings. I respectfully disagree.

 

Maybe you've never had family over for Thanksgiving dinner.

This might be the worst analogy ever but I'll try to go along with it. Asking your wife if you can be a vegetarian at home but sometimes have a burger for lunch is not the same thing as telling her she has a choice between divorce or letting you fuck someone else. Okay, I guess I couldn't go along with your terrible fucking analogy. No wonder you don't understand the problem and have no sympathy for couples in this situation.

Since you've been free with your marital advice, let me offer you some. When you're arguing, do not try to win with "my way or divorce". Because even if you get your way you have weakened the relationship. You've introduced the possibility of divorce and the insecurity will undermine all kinds of things. Try, when you're losing an argument, to close with "I don't know what we're going to do, but we're going to solve this together."

By your words, your BF told you he wanted to fuck other people or he'd leave you, and you hated the idea. But because he was willing to leave you over sex and you weren't willing to let him go, you went along with it. Good for you. But don't assume everyone else wants their love to be considered a less important than their ability to fuck.

 

Maybe you want to go back up and see im not the one who came up with that analogy, I was quoting and responding to someone else who made it so stfu.

Also, dickmeat, I never said sex was more important then his feelings. What I said was... Honesty is the best route.

Not that I owe you any explanations but no we didnt start being poly because he wanted to fuck other people. We became this way because he is bisexual (like me) and didnt just want to have fuck toys. He wanted to be able to allow me to have a steady girlfriend and him a boyfriend. We didnt even actually have sex with anyone but each other for a looong time.


If getting your rocks off is more important then being loyal to your wife, or her feelings, then by all means carry on, liar.

 

Miouwwwww!:excited::excited::excited:

Angry fuck alert!

Thinskin

 

closed up shop

My girlfriend of 4 years has zero sex drive! Mine is high,even for my age, (58). We have a great relationship beyond that,& love being together. Relationships can survive with out sex, but sex will not survive without a good relationship. I bet many of us are here because our sex lives are wanting! My frustration over sex would pale against my dissappoitment of losing this wonderful woman.

 

For about forty years it was three times a week--minimum. Now that I am older, mid-60's, with some health issues, it's down to 1-2 times weekly. I will never understand all the posters who are married but not having sex. Worse are those engaged and not getting any. Trust me it won't get better after the wedding.