You only live once, she's not giving you what you want and it won't ever get better because people don't change. Dump her before you're too old, limp and ugly.

 

This is a pretty normal situation - us guys stay horny our entire lives, and women lose much of their interest in sex as they get older, and especially if they have kids. Not always the case, but from what I can tell, it's normal.

As far as adding some romance to get her in the mood, that doesn't always work, and quite frankly, it kind of pisses me off that guys are supposed to make this huge effort. The romance thing would be fine, IF the wife also made an effort to just fuck more often. It's a two way street, and both should make the effort to make the other person happy. In my experience, the romance thing just left me more frustrated b/c it didn't always work.

There's a funny bit of dialog in the movie Annie Hall where the man and wife characters are independently talking to therapists about their sex lives. She says, "we do it all the time, like three times a week." He says, "we hardly ever have sex, only like three times a week."

The harsh reality of biology is that a monogamous culture doesn't work very well for men because they instinctively want something that their long term partners sooner or later do not. And, the harsh reality of American culture (and other places) is that men have been told that their sex drives are immoral and perverse, and that it's not "right" to want to bang hot young chicks. Yeah, right!

So, I think the first step is one of education - helping your wife to understand that your sex drive is normal and healthy, and just because you want to fuck a lot doesn't make you a pervert or freak. If she achieves that level of enlightenment, then I think there also comes some obligation on her part to do something about your needs.

If she refuses, then she has put your relationship at risk, IMO, because she's ultimately saying you can't have something that she has admitted that she knows you need. If she then expects you to live in a perpetual state of sexually frustrated monogamy, then she's fooling herself. I'm not saying that necessarily means you're entitled to fuck around, but I do think for guys in that situation that it's not the kind of betrayal it's made out to be because she has already failed in her part of the relationship.

 

That is exactly where im heading i have talked to her about this numerous times and she says there is nothing wrong . Only that i always want sex thats not the case i want to feel connected. She is just pushing me away yes you only live once and i dont want to be an old man and regret life

 

my fuckometer says...

...time for sleazy slide dish served up hot.

 

If i had known better i would have done things differently

 

im losing my mind i am so done :wall:

 

For a minute there, I thought I was reading a posting that I had written. Sounds very familiar to me! I don't think we're the only ones in this boat....

 

Fuck counseling, it doesn't work.

 

I doubt counseling is going to make his wife want to have more sex, but it might be good for her to hear from someone else that his sex drive isn't a problem. At least then she can't try to pretend that he has a problem.

 

Try to get her to drink lots of goat seaman.

 

Tickle her arse with a stick of celery

 

I just spent the day in a mariage class that was talking about sex. This is actually a common situation. There are several things that you can do to help with this. I suggest seducing her. Do what you did to get her from the start. A little romance goes a long way. Poetry, massage, wine, a nice dinner all of that stuff will help you. Make sure she understands that she is the only woman you want and fantasize about.
I know this part will be odd for this forum but there is a book in the bible that will help. Song of Solomon. It is all about love, sex, and romance. I hope this helps

 

Quite honestly, I wouldn't look for sex advice in the bible.

 

Some women just are not very sexual....some men aren't either.
I know two women who do not like sex and I feel sorry for their husbands. It may be due to problems in their past (one is) or it may be medical (the other one is this). Both husbands have decided to stay with their wives but one is having an affair and the other one is on xnxx and other sites.

 

Usual advice - she has a problem, so it's up to him to fix it. That's not a long term solution. If it's her problem, SHE needs to address the problems and not expect someone else to do it.

 

You are right

 

well i talked to her today and she says i have a bad additude and that turns her off also the fact that we have a 18 month old girl keeps ups busy. so i need to be nicer and more romantic.

 

So what did YOU say?

 

so i told her i will work on my attitude and try being more attentive not explosive i said i love her and dont want to lose her

 

then you have nothing to complain about.