Everyone talks about the ‘big hard man’... socially, professionally, culturally and sexually.
I find myself drawing to the conclusion that if men overanalyse and thinks about ‘Hardman Syndrome’ too much then they are at great risk of experiencing the opposite
And we women think we’ve got it tough!
Or have I got it wrong?

 

Very hard. So hard. Sometimes we wake up with the damn thing aiming at the ceiling.

 

Don't get me wrong @'Charisma' 10151 it's as charmed as it is a curse to be a real man in an environment of the softening of our breed. The same man that is adventurous, charismatic, vivacious, strong and virile in the beginning of most relationships which leads to the romantic and sexual exploration. Is the same men that will be asked to "tone it down" later for the sake of the waning of his love's lack of sexual interest and luster without (many times) so much as an explanation that makes sense or offers a reasonable alternative.

Due to the rise in generations of men being raised by mostly women's influences, the modern man has no idea of how to live off the land, build his own home or live without the amenities of cell phones or computers. They're told to be less like a man while being more in touch with women (some having practically become them) this imbalance not being very advantageous to the future husbands and fathers of our society. As far as love and lust I quote Jethro Tull, "I'm a tiger when she wants love, I'm a snake when we disagree"

 

I love being a man. I love our part in the conception and delivery of our children. I love being able and decisive. I love women and how they are so different from us and how they love us.

 

Easy! Smoke tabs, drink beer, fuck women! Yes, me Tarzan!

 

Its tough, at least for me, I am definitely not an alpha male but I'm not a sub either, I feel more comfortable talking, being around, trusting women than I do guys, you could say I am kinda nervous around guys, I have to be tough and hard, thats really not me. I do have my friends that I hang with, I prefer to be dominant in my relationship but rather she initiates sex and the activities, I worry about performance anxiety which is like a self inflicted wound! I want to make the decisions with her guidance.
She has more fun ways to masturbate and I do like being able to pee on a tree!

 

Ya it’s nice to wake up with a woody

 

it's hard for me. out side my circle of friends when i talk to girls or women, I have to watch what i say, can't stare at there boobs to long, or there body. i don't joke with them to much now for fear of offending them now. don't know how to call them Miss, Miz, sweetie, honey? if i don't know them. so this old dog is still learning lol

 

Ya know, just 2 days ago, I needed a car service and the driver was this, very shapely young girl, spandex pants, jiggly little behind, low neck top revealing a great pair of boobs, before we got in the car she took off her jacket, the way she was dresses, she knew she was driving me crazy! I sat in the passenger seat turning my head and using peripheral vision to stare at her abundant rack the whole time! I think she saw me, I told her to watch the road, all the while thinking of Xnxx , and imagining scenarios, we got to my house and after thanking her, I reached into my pocket and offered her a little something for the ride, she said no thanks, all I saw was her smile!, I eventually gave in to not tipping her and tried to get out, the car was a new Lincoln and had electric door locks that I couldn't find the button for, she leaned over and pressed my passenger side button, and I swear, almost intentionally, she drew her hand slowly back, not two inches above my groin. I looked at her and said thank you for the great ride, she smiled and said, that's what we do!. I got out of the car and went into my house, I didnt name myself Shy Guy for nothing!
Oh ya, I believe the question was If its hard to be a man, at times like the above, YES it is!

 

This is a man's world. But it wouldn't mean nothing....not one thing. Without a woman or a girl.

 

From a sexual point of one of the best sexual experiences I ever had was with a guy who everyone accused of being gay and who would certainly have been called somewhat effeminate in his appearance and demeanour.

He gave me the very best of orgasms sometimes without even having to put his dick in me but more importantly he was a true friend outside the bedroom.

How I fucked things up

 

I grew up with both my parents. My dad was a carpenter/foreman for 40years. He drank beer every day, hung out with work buddies all the time..and drank more. Being in construction back in 80s he worked long hours..I rarely saw him during the week. When he was home on the weekends he was working on some hot rod. I grew up mostly with my mom...but with MANLY influences. So because of that, I grew up a Beta male. I have no aggressive tendencies...I have nothing to prove to other men to show dominance. I'm by no means a lesser man because of this. I spent 15 years in martial Arts and amateur kickboxing. I'm a pacifist, yet I have had to fight and I can do so well. I can build an engine from the ground up, I can weld, work with wood and metal, electronics, computers..I was a independent handyman for 12 years...could do anything for residential housing. I own guns and am a decent marksmen. I also do not watch sports, nor do I follow any teams. I used to watch UFC until Gracie showed up and turned it into wrestling. Then I stopped. I've been told I'm not a man because I don't like sports. How stupid is that? I don't give a fuck what people think.

I can also use my mom's sewing machine better than she can. Make clothing, blankets..crochet. I can cook better than my gf..I learned to do everything both of my parents did.

I'm great in bed. To toot my own horn...but I hear it from everyone I've been with. My exwife still admits to it. My gf now swears I'm still getting better after 3yrs...which she thought was impossible for anyone.

So I'm not your typical MAN. I don't conform to that social construct. I'd say the hardest part of being a man...is constantly feeling like I need sex. Women think it's a choice for most men to be horny all the time..it's biology. But I'd say men are less critical of each other like women of other women. It's so hard for women to be friends with other women. Not nearly so with men.

 

Being a "real man" has little to do with sex.
A "real man" puts the needs of his partner/family above his wants.
A "real man" takes responsibility for his actions and doesn't blame others for his own fuck ups.
A "real man" doesn't talk shit about the mother of his children, even if his relationship with that woman went sour.
A "real man" doesn't enjoy various sex acts with a woman and then use it against her during arguments.
A "real man" isn't embarrassed to say "I love you" to his woman when his friends are listening.
A "real man" doesn't consider sex partners as notches on his headboard.
A "real man" defends rather than denigrates his partner to look cool to his friends.
A "real man" isn't afraid to let his partner explore their possibilities and encourages them to grow as a person.
A "real man" measures his sexual prowess not by his satisfaction but by hers.
A "real man" knows that sometimes giving her a foot rub or a neck massage isn't foreplay.
A "real man" knows that it's not him bragging to his friends about how good he is in bed but rather her bragging to her friends about how good he is in bed.

Those a just a few I could think of off the top of my head.
They have nothing to do with dick size or smacking around people who are weaker than I.
It has nothing to do with how many children you've sired that you have no intention of supporting or who's lives you have no interest in participating in.

For what it's worth, those "real man" rules also define a "real woman"

 

Many men are driven by a self created delusion of hardman who is forever out of their reach. Many love to pretend they know everything about automobiles to be that man. As a auto mechanic I see these men will accompany a woman for their auto repairs to keep them safe from crooks. I could make up anything to these men, especially while in front of a woman and they would pretend they know what I am talking about rather than admit they don't know something. Tried and true that's what they do. I could boolshet thousands of dollars out of them if that were my style. Not so easy with women, they want things to make sense, no ego to coddle; "quit looking at my boobs and tell me exactly what is going on here", they say with a glance. Yes try too hard and get the opposite result.
Owning who I am and am not makes me a hardman. The moment I found that confidence I could tell people saw me differently and I was a man among a sea of boys. I think women place similar hurdles in front of themselves.

 

I think the definition of man is getting blurred so much. Im old so I rode in the back of pickup trucks, rode my bike with no helmet, played in the dirt, etc. I had a mother that made meals every day and not from freezer to microwave.

When I was married, I was actually doing a pretty good job of playing the man role. Never paid for anything from vehicle repair to house repair. I did all the yard work and anything else that required muscles.

I did my best in raised two boys, but was constantly undermined. This, they will pay for for years and it breaks my heart. They are lazy, are idiots with money, have zero man skills, and they are technology addicts.

I prefer the old school and I believe that a lot of the reason that the world is such a mess is because of the blurred gender roles and divorce.

 

I do want to point out a funny irony....

We're talking about MEN being real MEN and what it means to be one....yet most of us are here looking at other men's cocks and asses!! Haha...

 

@Hussie6776 comment was spot on my lovely.
Always cherish those good times, make the most of every moment but don’t moarn it’s inevitable passing. Good memories are there to carry us through when times are bleak and bad...they give us a place to hope and dream... our memories can make us feel happy....grateful to have lived and inspire us to keep living...
Nothing can remain held in suspended animation, time passes and things change.
Every beginning must have its own natural ending...
Revel in the good memories.... some people are unfortunate and never experience such bliss.

 

After some thought, I think it's perfect that a woman would bring this up, after all, it wouldn't be a tough thing for a man to do! Whether it's a syndrome or just another aspect of inter male relations (that's where it can present itself to extremes), I'm not manly enough to care.

This question has a place here but how masculinity is related to sex is surprisingly way down my list of early thoughts.

Keep it coming...

 

A small point of order here but I think that our charismatic friend might just be oversimplifying a tad!!

thinskin