thank you

 

I hate the word and do not ever understand why anyone would want to use it. I sort of stare at the men I am around and wonder what the fuck are you actually trying to say? Use proper English and don't degrade yourself!

I never say it during sex, hell he prob would kick me out of the bedroom if I did

 

People are hella weird aout the word nigga.

Look, if your not black and use the word nigga you probably shouldn't.. if there are some niggas that you know, associate with, etc. that don't mind you using it or give you a pass, cool. Please believe that pass is only good with THOSE niggas. You're fine until someone wants to put you in your place for it. Or knock you the fuck out. So feel free to try your luck. Nigger on the other hand will always get you slapped if you are a female or punched in the mouth if you are a guy. Period. People use nigga as a measure of sorts to see how down the are. Which is really pretty fuckin silly. It's a derogatory term we flipped back at the power structure as a fuck you of sorts. Like you've raped our mothers beaten and lynched our fathers and incarcerated as many of us as you can round up, so fuck what you call me. If you have never experienced the institutional racism that exists in America you really don't get why it's said, but hey some people like to front. If that's you then that's you, but you're a joke and we know it.

 

As a black woman (married to a white man) I can say that I don't tolerate ANYONE using that word around me. Not in reference to me or anyone else. I don't care if black people think it's their way of "taking it back". People can claim it's "just a word" all they want... I have heard it used too many times as a means to hurt and hate to ever, EVER consider it an acceptable word to use in reference to anyone. The only time I think it should ever be used is to describe a black person who has wasted their life completely, is of no value to society, nor do they attempt to become such. And ONLY in an intellectual discussion would I bring up the fact that I, on occasion, distinguish between the millions of African Americans and the few niggers I have met in my life. When I use the N word to describe anyone, I mean the real dregs of society who do nothing but perpetuate the idea that black people are useless, ignorant, uneducated wastes of space. And that is a rare thing to come across no matter what race you are.

As far as being an interracial couple, I can say that I would never, EVER let any man fuck me who thought there was any reason to use that word in reference to me. He'd be lucky to still have his dick attached by the time I got out of there. And I'm a sub who very much enjoys being degraded during sex. But there are lines that should not be crossed.

My experiences are similar to Giel's. We don't experience much issue with our mixed relationship. Mainly in the south. There seems to be far more of a white women with black men thing going on than black women with white men. So we get funny looks occasionally. And there seems to be a stigma with the white woman/black man relationship in that black women resent it. Because if a black man is successful enough to attract a white woman then she is "stealing one of the last good black men" out there. There doesn't seem to be that sort of resentment with a black woman dating a white guy.

Even when we do have issues, it tends to be little old white ladies staring and glaring at us. So we just make sure to show a little more PDA than we would ever do under normal circumstances and really give her something to look at.

I guess I should point out, I was raised in white neighborhoods, went to predominantly white schools (there were like 2 other black girls in my class till junior high. And once I got to high school there were like 3 other black girls in the whole school), and I've never ever dated a black man. Never been attracted to them. Will Smith and Denzel aside. I'm just not particularly attracted to the features of black men. It's something that seems to surprise a lot of people. I just shrug it off to environmental conditioning.

 

It's interesting that you mention how you grew up. I grew up under similar circumstances with neighborhood and school and whatnot. While I do find black women to be attractive and would date them, the ones that I am interested in only date white guys, so there's that.

 

As a black man, it wouldn't bother me at all. I doubt that she's a racist if she allow me to fuck her. Whether she says the N word as a racist or not, I'd still fuck her.

 

it's funny. I find far more black women attractive than I do black men. Not that I'm interested in the women... But I'll look at Halle Berry or Alicia Keys and go "well yeah! I can see why she's a star!" or whatever. But then I look at Taye Diggs or Tyson Beckford and I don't see the appeal. It's odd. I know. But it just does nothing for me.

I wonder why it is the ones you're interested in go for white guys... are they a certain type? I mean more in terms of background, education, personality.... or is it more of a physical thing? I only ask cause if you're attracted to women who are more like me, a self proclaimed Oreo (black on the outside white in the middle) then it would make sense. I hate to say I assume it but I do tend to expect most black people I meet to be more into hip hop/urban culture. Even if well read/well bred. And as I know little to nothing about it, I tend to seek out people who are more into the things I like. Rock music, grunge, etc. Again, something I shrug off to being inundated by "white culture" from an early age. And if you drop movies, music, books off the table as common interests, it can be a recipe for a very bad first date. lol.

Anyhow, just saying that maybe you're seeking out women who had the same upbringing you and I did. And they are assuming that there's not much in common as far as interests go.

I had kinda forgotten about this till just now. But when I was a kid, I'd often get dropped off at my Grandfather's house when my parents had running around to do. And he lived in a predominantly black part of town. The kids there would make fun of me cause I "talked right" and used big words for my age like "perhaps" and "afterward". Eventually, I was teased just as much in the black neighborhood for being "too white" as I was in my white neighborhood for being "too black". But I guess since I spent more time in the white areas, I subconsciously assimilated myself into the culture to make things "easier"? who knows.

 

Yep, I went through the teasing for speaking 'proper' when I was a child too. Most of the black women who I am interested are into things you would consider white guys to be into so I get the reason why my success with them is limited at best. I'm not complaining. Personally, my music tastes differ from what is considered black culture (classical, new age, techno - abandoning rap somewhere in the early 90's), I read sci-fi novels, I wear my pants at the 'suggested' height around my waist too. And I can't STAND Tyler Perry movies. So with that, first dates with a black woman from the 'hood' probably wouldn't go that good.

I've never had intercourse with a black woman. When and if I do, she's gonna be somebody I can actually relate to. I'm too old to settle.

 

Im reminded of Chris Rock's "I loooooove black people but I hate niggers" skit.

 

It's funny... I actually like Tyler Perry movies... except that last one For Colored Girls or whatever.

I think they paint a good portrait of how circumstances can just as easily hold someone back. And that though some of us get a lucky break...be that parents who sacrifice to give us a better life or something else down the road, some get stuck in the vicious cycle of one generation keeping the next one down. I watch his movies and it reminds me that I could just as easily be one of his characters (not the outlandish ones like Medea or anything) had I been born into a different family or raised in a different way.

And hubby enjoys them cause it gives him a peek into the culture some of my more removed relatives are coming from. Like my half siblings from my father's first marriage who didn't have a mother who insisted on education, manners, open-mindedness. I have 20 nieces an nephews. about half of them are from ONE brother. And they each lead very different lives that correlate mostly to who their mother was and how she influenced how they're raised. The ones that he had when he was younger with a really "ghetto" woman are criminals... literally his two sons from her are in jail. one serving a life sentence. His daughter from her has like 8 kids and even some grand kids (which means at the ripe old age of about 16, I was a grand aunt). Another daughter from another woman was a model for Abercrombie for a little while. And her brother has a well paying job with Fed-Ex.... they all share 50% of their DNA with each other. But each cluster of them is most definitely influenced far more by their environment when they were brought up. Watching Tyler Perry movies kinda gives me a look into what my life could have been very easily. And it gives hubby a look into why part of my family could be so successful while the other part is rotting in prison.

 

I'd like to say thank you to snoochies snd black ops for sharing such an open and honest conversation on the subject.

As a white guy raised in the deepest south I just wantedto say that I was taught you didn't call anyone a nigger. My mother always expressed sentiments very similar to snoochies thoughts: being black did not make anyone a nigger, their actions did that and it didn't take a black person to deserve that label either, plenty of white people were niggers in her book. But, aside from few discussions like that, I can't remember her using that word and I know I never heard her actually call anyone a nigger. So the stereotype of white southern racists has been diminishing for longer than anyone really talks about.

As for my personal beliefs now that I'm an adult and attitudes and that word have changed so drastically since then: I don't think anyone should use it unless everyone can. People who think it's ok for blacks to use the word but not anyone else are only making things worse. You can't talk about eliminating racial barriers while you throw up one if your own.

And I'm sorry but nigger and nigga are the same word, stretching the "er" sound into a long "ah" does not change the word itself. If it did and black people "took ownership of it" then white people could call each other niggas too. To be absolutely clear, I don't think white people should do that. I just think that if black people want the word nigger to go away and be forgotten, they have to let it go. Racial harmony can only go so far as long anyone continues to say "It's ok for me to do something because of my skin color."

 

"confederation flag plate on the front, which is regarded as an openly racist symbol"


No sir..


Heritage, not hate. Plus I think it looks cool.

 

its quite difficult to explain racism to someone who doesnt, or won't understand.
I am scottish.
I have heard every tartan joke, every dereogatory term for scottish people
I have had people make fun of my culture and the way I speak
Seemingly my accent gives great delight to many people.
I do not know what will upset me.
I have heard some scottish jokes that make me laugh.
I have watched comedy on TV that pokes fun at scottish culture and it makes me laugh.
but
sometimes there are things that upset me.
If I, a scottish person cannot tell you what it is that is racist or upsetting, then others can't either.
So it is best to say nothing.

 

Remember I'm not an American, but I was told so over and over again. But I'm glad to hear that there are people who don't use the flag as a symbol for that.

 

:rose::rose::rose:

 

Blackops and Snooches, thanks for the insight in your situation and how you feel about it. It strengthens me in my conviction that there are no other differences than what you make of it, and what you make out of your life.

 

That heritage has a WHOLE LOT of hate in it.

Never bought this line. What about it makes you so proud? You were part of a country. You decided you didn't like it and tried to get out. You failed miserably at it. And now, hundreds of years later, you're still proud of that epic failure? I don't buy it.

Why display THAT particular part of your heritage? Why are southerners so hooked on the confederate years? Why not the years of unity before that? Or after it? Why not your european (or wherever else you came from) heritage? Sorry. But "it's heritage not hate" just comes across as a bullshit response to cover up the real reason people sail that flag. Especially coming from someone who gets on this forum on a regular basis preaching his hate.

 

That's what I'm talking about. I won't even use Dixie cups..

 

HAHAHAHA!

Reminds me of that old line "I'm such a proud black man, I won't even pick the cotton out of a bottle of asprin"

 

That's a good one!