In the reels that often pop up on my Facebook page and in some podcasts I follow on YouTube, I see women saying that their men should be paying for everything for the woman, even if they aren't married or living together. Everything as in ALL her bills--rent, utilities, food, car payments, insurance payments--and also for her visits to the salon, for her hair color, her extensions, her mani/pedi, make-up, clothes, everything. Mind you these women are working and paying their own bills, but expect a man to pay for it all even without being exclusive, once they start seeing each other. I've also heard that some single mothers expect a man to pay for their babysitter when they go out on a date.

Is this for real? Am I just too damn old?

 

nope - pay yer own damn way

in a relationship etc - that’s between them

and no, you are not too damn old - just realistic

 

Oh I am positive that they exist, we used to call them "gold diggers" when I was younger, but essentially wanting a man to pay for everything they want just for the privilage of doing so.
My wife and I actually had the more traditional man\woman relationship, but even when we met in high school I already had a part-time job and I kept it until graduation.
While she was in college, I contiuned to work as by that time I had held 1 job for over 3 years, including two promotions. And ever since then, I've had so much practical experiernce that I made significantly more money, even after she graduated college.

See the difference here is that we met when we were so young, everything we have we built together as we were both broke kids when we started out. Even then, we made sure that neither one of us was doing more than needed at the time to kerep things fair.

 

No you definitely aren't too old. They exist just as they existed for decades. If you want a dominant woman they are easier than ever to find at a huge price and high-risk with lower than return on investment. Or you can invest less in a real woman using the original order of investment with lower risk on return investment and come out better on capital gains.

Regular maintenance costs on Jaguar and BMW is what kept Ford and Chevy in business. Do your homework. Know your worth. Most of all look into the other party knowing their original design of role.

 

What point are you trying to make here?

 

I think there are differences in age, culture, and expectation.

I think it’s safe to say that if you are looking in your own age group for a partner, you’re not going to run across someone who expects you to pay for all of the things you listed above. You want to date a 25-year-old, you might find your experience to be different.

Also, while everyone experiences base living expenses, women carry a disproportionate burden with respect to personal presentation. That’s not news. And if she is a single mother, the cost of childcare while she goes out on a date with you is expensive.

This might be a societal response to the ridiculous expectation that if a man buys dinner, she better put out, who knows? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wouldn’t ask for those things to be paid for that very reason; I make my own decisions, I pay my own bills and I’ll fuck who I want.

 

https://youtube.com/shorts/M8U07bIyAP8?si=gljKSoXjg-RJ6uxq

 

I have seen those videos. I have also seen the videos where men are complaining that “real” women no longer exist…the ones who stay home, keep house, raise children, and live to please their man. And rely completely on their husbands for money. Remember Butker?

I find it interesting that women who say they want to have everything paid for are gold diggers, but men who want their women dependent on them call them “real” women.

I think there are lots of different types of relationships and I’m not going to judge any of them. I personally want to contribute equally, 50/50, and in my past relationship we had a joint bank account, and all our money was pooled together to pay for the bills and anything else we needed. But that’s me.

I think for every woman that wants all her stuff paid for, there’s a dude who wants to pay for all her stuff.

 

My boyfriend and I split everything equally. That being said, my mother advised me to keep a checking account in my name only. She also made sure I knew how to build my own credit and how not to be affected by someone else. She did this after her sister was left in ruin, due to a husband who hid a gambling problem. I don't expect anyone to pay for what I want or need. I also don't expect to support them, more than equally.

 

Well maybe Melania really does love Donald?

 

I think there are probably a lot of people in this world looking for a free ride, and if you're into indulging that, then that's your choice, but it's also your choice if you want to say "no" to people that want you to fund their lifestyles. I feel that for most of us, its just not appealing. I cannot imagine being someone who asks someone else to pay my way. It's just not my way.

I have always worked for a living, and I am reasonably successful in my career. I have always made more money than my husband, but we have never kept track of who spends what. Our money goes into a joint account and all of our bills and expenses are paid out of that account.

 

That’s not all that unusual these days. Here’s the thing, though. If I’m paying for everything, she will be exclusive to me. If that’s not acceptable to her, then bye bye birdie.

 

Everyone would want others to pay for everything if they could arrange it. This is one of those easy just say no things.

 

I think the FB reels like so much else are pushing the fringe beliefs. They might be real opinions, but if they represent the NORM then we are doomed as a species. Maybe that's a good thing. Lol.

 

I've never thought women like these were the norm, but I guess these days they are bolder and more brash in their demands. Rather than be willing to wait to find that man who would do it willingly they are making demands up front. I suppose it's also the case that with social media and everyone having a video camera on their phone, these attitudes are shown more.

 

I never expect a man to pay for my meals and such but I don't turn down a meal or drink or two.
And it is never assumed that he or she gets or gives an 'automatic payback'.

 

I married young 24, in the Army, so there was little in the way of opportunity for me with gold diggers, but at the time, I didn't mind paying a woman. I felt it was sort of like eating out. I have always preferred eating at a restaurant, paying for my food, rather than cooking it myself, or eating at a friend's house. These businesses have overhead and I want to be fair, everyone has bills to pay and I don't mind reaching for my wallet as long as I get it my way.

 

I was always taught to not rely on a guy.. my ex and I got all kinds of financially entwined (cars in both our names) which is another factor into why we stayed together so long instead of calling it quits earlier when we started having problems. But we split all the bills and expenses when we were together. If I end up dating someone else, I won't expect them to pay for me for anything.

However, I'm not surprised that some girls have that mentality. I'm not saying they should, just that it isn't surprising.

 

This entire conversation reaffirms my belief that any relationship that has even a sliver of a financial component is doomed to fail.