I've been in similar situations, tho perhaps not strictly sexual in nature. I know what you're feeling. Just bask in the knowledge that he has no relevance in your life.

 

True.. I could have met him, and he could have turned out to be a complete ass who also was bad in bed. That would have been a major downer if the first guy I decide to sleep with ended up being a dud!
Maybe the universe was doing me a favor. But still my feelings are hurt.

 

Since he stopped talking to you before you had sex, I would guess it was him and not you.


I know thrill of the chase is mentioned a lot, and even though new people are fun, I personally think the chase kind of sucks when drawn out. Things get very insincere.

 

I have no clue darlin. some people just dont like to have casual sex, Especially if it seems too easy. Not that im sayin thats the case with you, but it seems weird that he would start the pursuit and then just stop....... i think hes just crazy!? Anyway it seems like a hit to the ego but WE all know it was his loss. Ur a gem!

 

He must have dain bramage.

I never would have backed out

 

That guy is a wimp!

Some guys are like that. So, now you know he's not the one for you. The guy was probably just looking for sex. When you find a guy who you can tell loves you for you, you'll know it. My g.f. loves me for me, & we're getting married in the next 3 weeks.

 

Actually, I was only looking for sex as well, not a relationship.

Awwww... thanks guys. :rose::rose:

Actually I figured out last night what the cause was... He met a new hotter girl in our area and now has focused all of his attention on her. She looks high maintenance so I wish him good luck with that. lol
But it saved me from making a very bad decision I guess.
Damn my hormones! lmao

 

sounds to me like he was looking for an ego boost. guys like that are really pathetic. I don't know him personally though, so I can't be completely sure.

me, personally, I don't lead girls on, and if I ever do, it isn't on purpose, and it isn't by pursuing them. it's always the other way around, or we start talking and we're both interested at some point

 

I had me one of those model type high maintenance girls. Nothing but a pain in my ass who fucked around on me.

Pretty fucking good in bed though. She could deepthroat with the best porn star.

 

ahh

Im going with hes married and hes just passing time and getting a boost out of it. I wouldnt take it personally, hes the one whos missing out.

 

ONG ~ I feel ya, seems I have one of those in my court too. He calls, sets it up then something always happens, mostly he doesn't follow through with the confirmation and there is no call or message anywhere. WTF ... either get on the trian or leave me the fuck alone!

I agree with Laney! Men admit to me that I'm to intimidating ... :lol:

 

i think the only ladies on i'm not afraid of are milfs and wenches from a renaissances festival.

but i feel where that guy could* be coming. I'd be scared to if a girl just wanted me for sex. I bet sex feels great but you got to be careful who you hang out with you know. On my street there are alot of hoes and that alone has made me fearful of open sex.

I think it's the fact that he got it so easy that he might be scared your a rapist or a killer. I know i get like that sometimes. I think the more work the lady is , well when i do finally have sex it feels good for working hard.

But that's just me, I'm a little weird mentally.

 

he was drunk when he told you yes?

 

well for me im not forward with a girl right away and i like to get to know the girl before we have sex. And why he hasn't called or message you back well the thing is that he had to work for it and now that he had the opportunity now he got you and its no fun for him like what you can't have you want it more. Wjich is the same with girls.

 

It would seem to me that you need to give more details about your on-line relationship in order to properly answer your question. For example: your/his age, married/single, Photos/no photos to each other as you seemed to be cautious to a degree. But in the end you gave him your # but did he give you his ? Sounds to me ... with what little you gave me to work with, that he could have been doing many different things, but which one is hard to say for sure ? If you sent him a pic of you & he did not & you said you would meet him, he might have thought you were out of his league & you would be disappointed with him & his looks (a possibilty), or maybe he really was older/younger than you (another possibility), or maybe he may have thought you were more mature than he was (brain wise) that is (another possibilty), or maybe he may have taken a bet with his friends to see if he could pick up a pretty female on the internet & string her on (another possibilty), or maybe he was handicapped/disfigured and that would turn you off big time (another possibility) or maybe he was just plain scared that you said yes. Do you see what I'm getting at ... the possibilities are just endless as to why ? The best thing to remember here is that you tried ... So it's his loss ! NOT YOUR's ! So please, do something nice for yourself & just move on as life is really too short to keep asking ... WHY ? Hope this helped you ... I just keep dispenscing advice here ... I need to start my own coloumn ... Ask kink-eeee anything ! So what do the rest of you think ? AHHH ... screw what the rest of you think ... I'm doing it right now ! See you there.lol

 

He's got a major malfunction, thats all I can say.

 

Yes... but what if he has feelings?

I would like to try and explain, perhaps it will make you less angry at him.

My guess is that either he has a boyfriend/wife, in which case he's a jerk for cheating.

But this is what I think is more likely. Note the following is based on the guess that he has been out of a relationship for a while:

Believe it or not, not all men are perfectly okay with the idea of casual sex. Sex is an intimate act and if he has never had sex outside of a relationship before, he may have been uncomfortable with the idea. Then why would he sign up on that site?

My guess is that he has been out of a relationship for a while. In addition to being horny, he probably feels a certain loneliness. Men have all the emotions women do, but men have the tendencies to ignore them or put them away. I don't know about anyone else but I can here him covering up his trepidation in the statement "hopefully you".

What he may have realized is that this would only be a temporary solution to one of his problems, and would not help the other one. In fact, having sex at a needy time and then having to let go may make him feel lonelier than ever. I imagine he may have dreamed that he would meet you, have sex, and that a relationship would form. This dream, along with intense physical attraction and a desire to demean his own emotions led him to pursue this encounter.

This also explains why he jumped ship so unexpectedly. You are right, if he got cold feet he should tell you, but there was more than just nervousness. He probably has deep unresolved emotional problems. He still in some ways thinks of you as the imaginary person who he is in love with in his head, and cares about you. As such he is terrified of offending you and didn't want to insult you. Of course, ignoring you is more of an insult and you would understand but he wasn't prepared to explain to you his emotional state and I think he just freaked and ran. Not in the cold feet sense, where you walk away, but in the "holy crap i just saw a vampire slicing through a man's intestines in that alleyway" way where its just sheer panic.

In any case, i do not doubt that even if he was not willing to have casual sex in the beginning that he found you attractive enough to make contact. I certainly would have, if I personally was in his place.

The point is, I think he isn't just horny, he's lonely, and trying to hide that fact from you and from himself. My guess is that he feels bad about what happened but is too scared to make contact again. He also may have been scared by your attitude towards casual sex.


Now maybe I am projecting. I know personally am not willing to have casual sex. (If I was I would have gotten to you before he did ;-)). It doesn't mean I'm any less of a pervert, it just means that i prefer to truly care about the girls I screw. Sure it's a lot harder to be laid that way, but it's worth it. In any case, I don't have an objection to other people having casual sex, I am only trying to demonstrate that it isn't so easy for everyone. If he hasn't had casual sex before, I think its all because he has deeper emotional problems.

The one think you can be certain of is that he didn't do it for any lack of hotness on your part

happy screwing

 

oh.. didn't read that

Sorry, i didn't read that you found out what happened..

god what a jerk. How the hell could someone be hot enough to outdo you?

oh well, at least i got to kill some time and do some writing.

Be careful. Don't get into anything bad.

And try the love thing if you find some time on your hands. It really makes the sex so much better...



....well, as long as you don't fall in love with a 4 incher.

 

I couldn't say what causes a guy to back out on what could be the best sex he'd ever had in his life but I can't say that I would ever do that. PM me for the rest of this post... :mrgreen:

 

He's either married, or much younger/older than he led you to believe. I always found a neutral lunch was the best way to start things out <G>. Only an hour of time to determine an evening of bliss...or not.