I thought ejls was a blond.

Not that her writing doesn't drip with brown sugar. :excited:

 

After reading this the second time through its really the ending that sticks in my head. It was a really well written story as we have come to expect from a true writing master such as yourself.

This story like only a coulpe of the other stories felt like a real episode of Night Gallery. I could easily see this playing out in my mind as I read along.

I wish you the best of luck in this CAW as I think you've written another masterpiece.

 

You were wondering what I might say and I am going to be frankly honest here in this public domain...

When I think of writing and trying to do it to the best of my ability I have often looked at your stories as examples of how to write. I have no formal training in creative writing at all... so I have come to value the guidance and suggestions of the premier authors of this site.

You are one of those people. More than that, you have always been there to provide wise counsel and a gentle nudge whenever I feel I am failing at this craft.

Your personal contact with me asking me to please make sure I enter CAW13 was a compliment that I will never forget. It is because of it that I entered this competition. I have no delusion that I can win this... not in the esteemed company that it has attracted. Rather, it was simply that you felt I could do it.

This story is exactly what I have come to expect from someone as gifted and as powerful with prose as you. I loved this story. From the beginning it grabbed my attention and never let it go.

I loved it ejls. This is a simply superb story you have written. Thank you for sharing this effort with us.

You have been and always will be one of my favourite authors

 

Oh my. Thank you, Jade.


Thank you.

 

Get a room! :excited: :excited: :excited:

 

You, young lady, have a dirty mind. Did the batteries die?

 

Very Very Nice

 

Thank you to my fellow writers for taking the time to leave me a comment. I appreciate your input. I can't grow without your honesty.

 

At the end I found my myself thinking about the rest of the museum. One of the creepiest stories I've read since I last picked up E.G. Poe. Very well done.

 

Read your masterpiece yet again.

Then I re-read all the comments. Do you, ejls, realize how positive everyone's reaction has been?

Absolutely, Rod Serling would have loved to get you to turn this into a screenplay. So would Hitchcock. If their ghosts lurk on this site, you may get an odd Visitor Message.

Without shedding a drop of blood, without any physical manifestation of the fate awaiting your heroine except for two very erotic scenes, you created something that makes me want to turn on more lights.

One poster mentioned your ability as a story-teller. That's a big part of your popularity as a writer around here -- you tell a good story. No excess verbiage, but enough descriptive and mood-setting passages to let the reader know exactly what's happening. You always draw your readers in right from the start and hold them while you tell your tale. Sometimes, you do it with hearts and flowers. Often you do it with emotion -- loneliness, love, lust. Here, you did it with odd little happenings that built to terror for Jaleesha.

Someone else said it. Definitely publication-worthy. There ARE adult horror magazines somewhere, aren't there?



And by the way, I confess to thinking Jaleesha is seriously hot -- both in your story and in her pics. Your words make her sound as sensual as she looks.

 

Thank you clarise and WSF. Thank you also to the members who have pm'd me.

 

Oh dear - of all the threads in all the forums, ya hadda post spam on this one.

Hit it again, Sam

​

 

Ironic, isn't it Jayney?

 

There's absolutely no point in writing anything further. This summarized it all. Another great story from one of my favorites.

 

Thank you for the early morning smile.

 

This one grabbed us by the throat and didn't let go.

The scene with the horse hooves scaring Jaleesha was the start of it for me. You had HER when the monitor flickered in the security office. In fact, SHE started reading it first and stopped there to call me over to read it with HER from the beginning.

Damn.

The interesting thing about this story for both of us was when we discussed it and then re-read it. SHE filled in different details in HER head when she read it than I did, which shows how well you entice your readers to use their imagination, rather than hammering us with a laundry list of details. Maybe that's it. Your stories are suggestive.

One very suggestive aspect of this story was the sensuality of parts of it. SHE apparently liked that very much (SHE takes a shower after reading that part every time ). I'm pretty affected (cough) by it too, especially now that I can't seem to see your heroine without a tan shirt.

Focusing on that cheapens the story, but it does prove that you can have a hot scene in an otherwise chilling story.

Whose baby is it, anyway? Some legends say the incubus is trans-gendered, appearing as a succubus to men who unwittingly give her their seed in sinful wet-dreams. She then assumes the male incubus form and impregnates his female victims with the stolen sperm. So, who was actually inside Jaleesha, and who fertilized her?

THAT is just plain creepy!

 

And just where was your entry? You guys have a lot of writing to do, to make up for all the CAWs you've missed.

Thanks for the comment - you know I appreciate your thoughts.

 

Bumping because I know there's at least one writer who hasn't read this.

 

Feeling a little bit like a leper - or that my work is not good enough for all of the writers to read.

Just sayin'.

Oh, blame this little outburst on hormones and my powers of observation.

 

That is a dangerous combination:excited:

I just read the sock remark on my story and the replies generated. I laughed so hard

Anyone who does not take the time to read your work is the big loser. They miss out on one of the finest entries by a wonderful author. :rose: