Don't get married. Cheating is obviously a big deal for you but I can guarantee divorce will be an even bigger deal. If, after only.two years, you're both dealing with this shit, then it's only going to get worse. Marriage is like a tripod - only stable when you have three legs and those are trust, love, and respect. You're missing at least one of those and as time goes on and insecurity eats away at both of you, you'll lose another. Go find partners you trust.

 

Now that you both cheated, sit down and talk about your sex with other partners, if you both get turned on by this then you should consider a swinging lifestyle, this is not for everyone, but it might be for the two of you, if not move on, or you will be miserable the rest of your lives. Swinging rocks

 

Did she cheat after you got back together, or during your split?
Life is complicated. I cheated multiple times before my wife and I got married, but once we were married I was 100% faithful for over 15 years. However, during that 15 years, she cheated a couple times (the emotional affair was actually much worse and harder to deal with than the physical one). Now, after 20 years of marriage and 25 years together, we are at a certain level of understanding of our non-monogamous outlook, and we've been happier than we have been since before we were married.

 

For all who took the time to offer an opinion on my post I thank you. Although some are ignorant on the subject and concept of a "Relationship" , i learned something from each post. If I ever post here again, with the topic being of a serious nature that is directly or indirectly effecting my life, before you reply bare this in mind.

I have a masters degree in computer science, a bachelors in anthropology, and a bachelors in psycology. I fluently program in 7 programming languages ranging from one of the oldest programming languages known to man all the way up to the latest in code developments. If you reply...know what the fuck your talking about. if you dont, get a book and come back. Or minimize the window and google something! For fucks sake ask someone! But dont post halfed coked replys. Ill call you out and tell YOU how much of a fuckin idiot you are and then maybe even send you a little gift to your email. Some responses I could appreciate. Some, it was clear that it was coming from married people who believe in the sanctity of union. Although we are not yet married, we are engaged to be. Husband and wife in practice although not yet by law. And thw most important fact...We truly love each other. I laid the groundwork for her to later on use it as a "get out of jail free" card. And...considering she stayed with me after i stepped out, i cannot with a clear conscience turn my back on her. We are BOTH now and have been hurting. When you have problems in your relationship you dont bail. Thats whats wrong with society today. People are such cowards and afraid to face thier own mistakes. I on the other hand told her "Baby, Im sorry. What I did hurt you and drove you to do what you did. I forgive you. And if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, lets begin counseling and get on the road to being husband and wife." Because no piece of pussy is worth loosing my soul mate. Love each other. ​

Mr. Mannie Mack (hopefully that satisfies the jackass that suggested i was 2 people? or whatever the fuck)

 

I'm not the jackass that suggested it, but I didn't understand. You apparently use two near-similar accounts and that causes confusion. I at first read Minnie Mack and thought your fiancee was mixing in the discussion.

As for the original question, I can't tell whether your relationship has a future - you two will have to find out. It's a good thing you want to stay together. Until you've left this rocky time behind you for several years, it's time again to plan a wedding. It'll take time, and indeed, while no success, try again, and if dead, break.

 

So why did you state in one of your earlier posts that you were a chubby, Bi, SBM?

Single?

 

Well sir at the time I was. We were in the midst of an imenent breakup. Technically I am still an sbm. That will God willing be back as it should be very soon. Unfortunately that news will probably never make it to these threads.

 

I have no desire to cheat on my wife but I encourage her to enjoy and as much sex with other men as she wants. She cheated on me when we were dating and I think about those times a lot with excitement. She will not cheat on me now and it kills me. I see men get upset when it happens and then the big breakup. Spare yourself the hard feelings and enjoy it. You don't have to confront her, just give her all of the room to let it happen. Hint around that it is ok if it were to ever happen. Draw your love closer to her and watch from a distance. Appreciate the wonderful gift she is giving you and let it happen. Maybe one day I will get to enjoy it to.

 

Fool me once shame on you , fool me twice shame on me.
After looking at your responses and some of your other threads I can see what the problem is.

 

What?

 

In my other threads I asked how to get my wife to have sex with other men. I do envy other men that get it without trying. I know people are different but why and I the one wrong?

 

I wasn't going to respond further but now feel compelled as I think more about this. Why I am I doing that......not sure. The short length of time together is a bad indicator. However, being so thin skinned and angry over a rather inacuous comment made by @Hush regarding age might be more of a harbinger of things to come. If you don't think she has any bearing on relationships you're deluding yourself. Don't mean to be pissy at all, it is simply common sense.

 

And by "she" I of course meant "it", meaning age of course.

Did I read the last diatribe wrong or did he threaten certain people here with some form of computer hacking? If I misread that I apologize.

 

Are you talking about me or someone else? I am at a loss.

 

The OP.

 

Post her pic and we'll tell you if she is worth the effort...

 

The OP? I don't speak in code and there seems to be something going on here I am not in on. I normally say what mean so I don't get it. I'm out.

 

We were referring to the guy who started the thread, the OP also known as the Original Poster. It took me a bit to realize this also. No one was referring to anything you wrote, well, other than the OP. Are we on the same page?

 

No matter if it had been two years or 60 if you totally loved each other you wouldn't have even thought about cheating. If you had thoughts of wanting another you should had discussed your feelings. But that didn't happen lust got in the way and it won. So your wondering how you still love her so much after you cheated and then she did the same?? Well now your just very confused which is what happens when trust goes out the window......but you still feel love for each other.

If you want to fix it you have to build trust. You can not throw it up in her face that she cheated and same goes for her....neither of you can do that. Now you have to be totally open and honest with yourself and her. Do you truly want just her?? Do you feel your love is strong enough to rebuild?? Do you want her to be faithful but in the back of your mind you kinda like how cheating felt?? It can't be one sides. Either you both totally commit to fixing it or you decide on a open relationship or you cut your loses. That is your only options. I'll tell you from what I've seen open relations look great on the surface but most of the time it has alot of dramatic after effects. But you two really have some soul searching to do.....i wish you the best of luck!!!!

 

As for bashing you on your questions or how you handled others responses. I'll just say here is no different than the real world. Everyone looks at things totally different. Everyone has different attitudes and personalities. Noone is going to give the the exact answers or responses you wanted and not everyone will be nice......that's how life is. My opinion hey for fucks sake it's not a incest thread tlking about i want my daughter soooo.....yippyyyy!!!!!!!!!