Granted!! You now spend your entire time watching really bad 'B' flicks on the old tube, forgetting about the life outside your door and inside your computer. You vegetate quietly and nobody notices. Until you slip silently from life into death. Three days later your body is discovered only because of the smell - the movie you were watching has paused at the actual moment of death. A scene of a suicide booth you so ravenously crave!!

I wish I had an endless supply of batteries!!

 

granted. ewe are required to buy the 'lifetime pack'. For only $42, 229 (or roughly 30, 464£) you too can purchase the lifetime pack!!!

i wish heroin was passe

 

Granted, but now you also have to take a passe test to get a good job.

I wish I was smooth.

 

with granted but in order to be smooth a witch turns you into a baby and you are as smooth as a babies bottom


I wish I had I sombrero

 

granted. you have to change your name to samantha, and all the people say, "hey, theres samantha with the sombrero"


i wish i had a dalmation

 

Granted- but it's pregnant with 101 puppies and they are all violently playful. You will never see your shoes again.

 

Granted, Since you didn't wish for anything, here is a free wish card

I wish i didn't have migraines.

 

I can't be mean to anyone who has migraines.

I wish I were gettin' "some."

 

Granted, here is a fresh pack of some. use it while its hot. and thanks, migraines suck.

I wish for understanding among all.

 

granted, but alone you are misunderstood.


i wish lucky charms were magically delicious!

 

granted, they are delicious, but toxic.

I wish Frosted Flakes were Grrrreat! like Tony says.

 

granted, but the trix rabbit still thinks trix are for kids...


i wish nostradamus was more straight-forward with his prophecies.

 

wish granted but in his straight forwardness he fucks you in the ass

I wish I didnt cum on myself when I masturbate lol

 

Granted; you don't cum at all and get blue balls.

I wish I had someone more intelligent to respond to.

 

wish granted but is your mom pussy


I wish I had a pony a magic one

 

Granted! You have a magic "My Little Pony", and it takes you off to fairyland.

 

Granted you get no wishes

I wish I had a sandwich

 

Granted- You now have a sandwich, but I came in it and put it back in your fridge.

I wish that I could rock.

 

Granted!! You change your name to Granite and make like a mountain!!

I wish the rain would pour UP once in a while!!

 

Granted, you stepped onto a searing hot geyser.

I wish I had a clue.