We do a lot of shit in life.
Most of them, we just don't give a fuck about and prefer to move on to something else to not give a fuck about.
Although in this process, we do a lot of things that we aren't necessarily proud of.
Calling out for everyone to share that thing that you did, but aren't really proud of.

Obviously, I would have to go first -
I told a girl that I loved her (to have sex with her), and after I did have sex with her, broke up the next day because I was too high to understand what I was doing.

 

slept with a mates wife, i know pretty bad, but thyy did have an open relationship(only guessing that because both of them slept with other people) and kinda hard to turn down when you had a drink and they put your cock in their mouth

 

Things that I'm not really proud of...hurting people

 

Not proud of not being a better friend to people when I was in high school. Lived in a very poor county, lots of people didn't have much. We didn't either, but I can think of many ways I could have been a better person. Living in a poor rural county and going to a very small school actually teaches you a lot about life.

 

I once seduced, or let him think that he seduced me, a young man who had been a good friend for several years. We entered into a sexual relationship, actually it was more than just sexual, for several months, until he proposed to me. When I refused, it ruined our relationship and our friendship, and I hate that I did that to him and to us.

 

I stabbed someone who meant a lot to me in the heart once.

( metaphorically speaking of course)

I was young vain stupid and thought I was being clever and grown up, I could go on making excuses but they dont wash

 

I am reckless and fleckless and it means i have done many stupid things that shouldn't be done.

 

There's a long list. Not letting the past stay buried in some cases, and being too chicken to dig it back up in others.

 

Saving over my sister's tomb raider save as Lara was jumping off a building

 

Dated a guy for a couple of months, ended up liking his dad much more. Not something I'm proud of, but there's no reason to feel guilty for him either, if there was I would have never done it anyway.

 

When I was in university and lived in shared accommodation (halls) one of the guys (there were 3 girls and 3 guys in our block) had a thing for me.

It was kind of funny and flattering at first, but I wasn't interested in him that way.

After a few weeks he was still just hanging around me all the time, being clingy and making pervy comments which made me puke in my mouth a little. Everywhere I went he wanted to come to, every time a group of us went out he'd be there right next to me all night. He once almost started a fight with another student from my course that bought me a drink.

I ended up getting a FWB in one of the halls across the road, we used to go over to his block, mostly to get some privacy as all his housemates were into sports and usually at the sports pitch during the day. Once the guy found out I had a FWB he became very passive-aggressive towards me.

I ended up taking my FWB back to my room, so that the jealous guy knew and could hear what we were doing. He kind of flipped out and left the halls later that week to go move back in with his parents (he lived in a town just outside the city). Although he still attended university and I saw him around for a while after, I didn't speak to him again.

I still feel bad about the way I handled it but at the same time, I didn't feel like there was any other way to stop what I perceived as harrasment.

 

Wouldn't leave my girlfriend back home for someone I met in college, but still hung out as friends with the other girl, in spite of us having fallen in love with each other. I thought that was the morally right thing to do, staying loyal to my girlfriend, but in hind sight it just maximized the emotional damage to everyone involved. Go me.

Another one of those non-classroom lessons, @Bea Temptation

 

By a VAST margin, these points from an old post are mild compared to a number of things I have regrets over. Anywho, here is a snip of little things.

Regarding others, and the "guilt" aspect, I only began to recognize that once I became aware that others did not live such a life as I had. So when I'd do something shameful to another person (never myself), I felt angry with myself and ashamed or guilty after, yet in the moment I'd still do it. A couple early examples (in that until 25 roughly I never really had personal relationships) went as follows:

When I was in Nicaragua/Honduras/El Salvador in the early 80's....At that time where ever it was specifically they would routinely round up local citizens or whomever they found and "arrest" (kidnap) them. Mind you it had nothing to do with crime, yet they would do so to torture, rape, and kill to state to everyone else, "obey, or this can happen to you."

There were about 20 of us in a cell starving, all female, yet all ages. When the guard offered up a single plate of food for only one to get to eat, I pushed through the rest who were begging, pleading and so on and promptly pulled off my dress and flopped on my back spreading my legs. After he finished right there in front of all the others, I then had to listen to all of them sobbing and pleading for a single bite of the 3 bites worth on the plate. If we all were not in such a bad state I would have been in real trouble from the gals after.

Other times at that place and others, when they'd select who was to be tortured or violently raped I would not even hesitate to offer to suck or fuck the guards to try and avoid being picked (with hit and miss results).

Wrong reasons to feel shame or guilt? Perhaps, yet I'm typing this today when many others cannot. Though not a single day goes by that I don't regret what I did in that others suffered horribly when I didn't, my own base animalistic survival reflex, my cowardice, and that I let men that I should have dealt with, with absolute finality touch me... The wrong reason is just a mistake, so get over it. Regret for even the right reason lasts a lifetime.

That aspect out of the way, it only leaves issues with personal relationships once I was back in the U.S. from roughly 24-30.

First off, I never felt guilt or shame from working (and all I ever did was sex work), no matter what I did or how disgusting others may find it even myself. On the same token, I never felt guilt or shame through those years regarding men (though those non-work interactions were always brief, and typically one night stands)... Where I did feel guilt and shame were personal non-work relationships with women (in that back then I considered myself a lesbian).

Now in fairness to myself, I would do everything I could to keep women distant and not interacting with me in the first place. However, it seemed the more I'd try to push them away the harder they'd push to hook up. What that would lead to is me literally at times pinning some gal against the wall in a bar bathroom and forcing her to do all sorts of things be it mauling her, making her eat my cunt with no romance or foreplay, or perhaps bending them over something and humping them till I came.

So very rough, violent and so on, the worst part being if they then started to play coy, back out or even refuse, I'd then force them. Lets call it what it was no matter how consensual on their part, it was rape, no different then any man doing such. It would even go so far as more then a few I'd grab by the scruff of their neck and just about force them in there or outside, and a few times dependent on the bar right there.

When done I'd do everything I could to humiliate them. If my wetness covered them I'd make them go out into the bar without cleaning up, or I might walk out taking their dress, pants or shirt with me and toss them at the far end of the bar making them walk out like that. Some I'd maul once out in the open and often would use the pat phrase of "shut up, stay still, you wanted this," others I'd make sit on the floor, whatever. Essentially a lot of fucked up sadistic shit to try and make them feel as bad as I was, and no matter how upset they were they would still end up either that night typically or the week after if I left be right back provoking it all again. So I'd make it even worse.

Hell one night I recall three times this one gal kept coming back. So the last time when I was done using her, I shredded her shirt, bent her over and straddled her ass and pissed making it look like she wet hers and then walked out into the bar and believe it or not she came out into the crowd hanging her head and told me if they threw her out for being topless she'd wait just outside for me until I was through. If you think those are bad, you can't even imagine the shit I'd do if they'd beg to go back to my motel room after.

In a nutshell I was an abusive cunt, and it still amazes me at how many of them wanted to have relationships with me, and I'd simply get worse and worse.

That said, the second I was away from them I felt terrible about it. Ashamed, hated myself, guilty, angry at them for not leaving me alone and furious at myself for not just leaving or never going, yet the second they'd press me again it was like a switch and I'd be right back at it with a vengeance. Frankly, if anyone of them had done the same to me I would have wailed the hell out of them, so I guess I was hypocritical on top of it all...Funny thing is? I'd see some guy or gal abusing their gal, and I was a fucking maniac at how I'd deal with them, nothing would stop me.

All of that only changed after a situation that most of you here cannot understand or appreciate, and finally upon meeting my Husband who overnight changed me in how I interacted with him and others. It only resurged when he introduced me to Kathy, and after really abusing her for a long time with all the self loathing after, her love and devotion broke me down and that made all my final changes in how I reacted with sex. Don't get me wrong, except with her and my Husband I still keep myself detached and distant, but I've not been abusive for close to 20 years now (mostly, in that some want me to be, so perhaps I vent there).

You have no idea how much I hate myself for all the pain I caused. It doesn't matter how much it might of been their fault, as in the end I could have just walked away.

Not what you expected?

Hush....an alias

 

Long time ago...taking my teenage gf's anal virginity. Let me preface by saying as a teenager I already had had anal sex with a couple girls, but they were not gf material. In hindsight, the copulation had gone well, haha, because they were far more experienced than I and knew what to do. At this age, I wasn't overly bright or sensitive. Anyway, my gf and I (we were each 19) were visiting her older, married sister who loved out of state - it was her b'day. Her Mom was there, as well, as sisters and brothers. They all slept in the spare bedrooms. My gf and I slept on the couch in the living room. During the night, we decided to do anal for the first time. Since it was her first, she wasn't sure about what to do and I only had vague recollections of what the other girls I'd fucked had done. So...it was a disaster. The next morning, we were all gathered around the breakfast and my gf just blurts out that we had tried anal sex the night before. I was not only stunned...I was sitting by her Mom - and I'll never forget the look her Mom gave me when my gf continued by saying her ass was really sore and would her older sister examine it! Her husband almost spit the coffee he was drinking out of his mouth. He tried to make light of the situation, but the Mom and the sisters and brothers only knew that I had 'raped' their little sister's ass. I was glad to lift the house physically intact a few hours later. We broke up a couple of months later. Thirty years later, I told my current gf about that experience, I guess, because I still felt bad about that experience. She advised "let it go". I am working on that.

 

The thing I'm not proud of most was when I was a freshmen in college , I went to a frat party at the end of the year.
I got so Shitfaced drunk and stoned , that I ended up doing a stripped tease on a table and screaming "who wants some of this"? pointing to my pussy!
That's the last thing I remember, till I woke up the next day naked on the couch , sore all over, covered in dry cum !

Needless to say I transferred to a different college after that!

 

Wow!

 

Something that I really am ashamed of and was at a low point in my life. I shouldn’t even admit it but you guys are the first to know. I was in a position where I was making food for someone I really didn’t like so that persons food came with secret sauce. I regret doing it. But she ended up liking the food and sent compliments to the chef aka me lol #sorrynotsorry I am actually sorry lol

 

I have many many things i am not proud of. So basically i am not proud of not having more control and more of a voice.

 

Sleeping with my son's wife

 

I can't think of a single thing, because I blame everyone else for everything I do. Seriously, there's things I've done that I'm not proud of at all, in my younger days. But I'm proud that I turned my life around and left those days behind. It was really a special woman, that I feel in love with to make me change my ways. And I'm proud of her today.