I will totally agree that love is far more important than sex, but this is looking like a one way street. She's being selfish and he's not feeling that they're equals in the relationship. You have to have a balance, and he's not feeling that. But then again that balance point is different for each individual and each relationship. If he's asking for advice, it's at least time to take a long hard look at what's going on with him, her and their relationship......

 

You two need some outside help from professionals, sounds like she has some intamacy problems reguarding sex, you need to find the roots of that problem to overcome it,

as much as you love her, you cant keep this up forever, something will have to change, you cant be expected to be miserable for the rest of your life,
when your in love, you get blinded from what else is out there, which is a good thing if your in a happy relationship, but when your in one that sucks you feel the need to stick with what youve got hoping the other person will change, and although people can change, its unlikely that they will

 

Relationships are all about balance. If both sides of a relationship are balanced and everyone's needs are met, then everyone's happy. If not... well, you wind up feeling like you do.

From the way you've described this woman, she seems totally uninterested in your needs, only her own. You sound at this point as though you're being used, manipulated and emotionally played with. No offence, but that's how it reads.

That, simply, isn't a healthy relationship. Not for you, and not for her, either.

Now you may "love her to death" but that to me sounds more like the kind of "desperation love" that abused wives speak with. "If I do this and this and this, and love them enough, they'll return it, and everything will be okay." Well I hate to say it, but you're not okay, and nor is your relationship. You're hurt and frustrated, and she's getting everything she wants at your expense.

Now here's the irony; if you look past your love for her, you'll realize SHE has a lot more to lose, than you do. Think about it. Notice that huge over-reaction to her friend taking an interest in you? That's because she's jealous, insecure, and scared she'll lose her hold over you. Just like an abusive man acts, with the women he threatens and manipulates. (not all abusive men are violent - but most play all kinds of nasty psychological mind games that rob the victim of control and self-confidence).

If you're deadly serious about this relationship, I'd suggest professional counselling for both of you. Seriously. This relationship is in deep trouble. At the very least, she's playing you for an idiot. At worst, she's psychologically damaged, possibly an abuse victim herself, and incapable of forming a normal relationship with anyone.

But one thing I would suggest is, while you can't change her, you can change yourself. Start with refusing her sexual pleasures, unless you end up having a mutual session together. Start looking around for people to be friends with, both male and female. Broaden your horizons. Try new things. Break the stranglehold she has over your emotions. And with a clearer head, you'll know what you need to do, and how. Because as others here have pointed out, if she refuses to work with you in any way, and causes you nothing but heartache, then you need to walk away. Not find someone new on the rebound, just walk away, and give yourself time to grieve, to heal and to rebuild your self-confidence.

Because this, right now, is the polar opposite of what a normal healthy relationship should be. I think everyone here would agree with that.

Whatever you end up doing, I wish you good luck, and a happy life.

Bye for now - Fluffy McNoo.

 

My advice to you. As the weather is changing and the cherry blossoms are getting ready to bloom. Rev up the old car and head out on a nice drive through the countryside. As the brisk yet warming air runs through the car you might find a car wash in one of those small towns you travel through, the warming air signals you into the car wash as your secoond love (your car) need a little attention also. Pay the attendent extra to provide special attention to your second love. Make sure your first love is in tune with the attention you are paying to your second love. After your in the wash, lean over to your special gal and whisper "look at how I take car of this car, just think what your life could be like". When your dead into the heavy wash cycle lean over to her, and pull the door handle and kick her ass out the fucking door. Drive off and never look back.

just my 2cents! good luck

 

You guys have helped so much, thank you.

I'm realizing I just have to get over my fear of being alone, and let her go.

Thank you Fluffy, Stuka, and Krissy. And to everyone else, I'd totally love to do what you suggested Pharoah.

 

well, hate to put a spanner in the works here,
but have you talked it over with her yet, calmly? even tried dropping subtle hints that maybe you guys could try some other kinky stuff..
if it gets to it- just blatantly (and, again, calmly) tell her that you need more out of the relationship than this. dont cut the cord when you might be able to save it yet.