Your so right

bnthrdntht, I do not hold it against the entire gender, not in the least. It shocked me when it happened and it took me a very long time to get over, but that is water under the bridge, I can say that her relationship with studmuffin ended a good while back, was a good feeling to smile at her and walk off while she was complaining about how bad life was.

Does that make me a bad person?

 

not in the least i actually understand where you're coming from because a year before my husband and i got together i was engaged to another guy and he cheated on me with a 14 year old and when she broke up with him and he called me crying it gave me pleasure to tell him how great my life was going

 

But see, that's the thing. You have to know when it is ok and when it is not ok. Once you get to the point where you no longer are ok with it, then you stop, and talk to your spouse about it. It's all about your own limitations, if you are comfortable with it then it is ok to do, but if you aren't, then don't. Right now, i am perfectly fine with having threesomes and stuff with my fiance and watching another guy have her. But thats because it is ok with both of us. If either one of us woke up one day and said enough is enough, then we would stop. And it's not like it's an everyday thing either. Its more like once in a long while, you know? Moderation and comfort are the keys.

 

but what if one day you ask her to stop and she doesn't because ya'll haven't been in a monogamous relationship and all of a sudden you're throwing her into a monogamous relationship

 

I think with most people that may be a problem, but with us that isn't at all. We have both talked about it at great lengths, and we only started having threesomes after setting some ground rules. As far as we are concerned, we ARE in a monogamous relationship. Neither one of us has sex without the other. It's just once in a while (like every 6 months or more) we have a threesome. Nothing more then that. And everytime before we do it, we talk about it to make sure it is perfectly ok with the other person. So just stopping doesn't matter, becuase we are already in the monogamous relationship situation. We just have a little fun sometimes.

 

I've only seen one study, and I don't have a reference to it, but in that study couples who engaged in "swinging behavior" were slightly less likely to get a divorce. That's backed up by this study that I just found online.

I should mention though that studies about marriage are often badly flawed. (I seem to recall I had my doubts about the first one above, and the one online is definitely biased towards those happy with that lifestyle, which they mention.) The most badly done study I've seen purported to prove that couples that weren't religious were more likely to get divorced than couples that were. Then it turns out a couple's feelings about divorce were used to measure how religious they were! Once that bias and others were done away with, later studies showed no correlation between degree of religion and divorce rate. I could mention other studies, but I'm sure you get the point.

 

Thank You

J.A.W. Thank you for your input, that is very enlightening, and I agree most marriage and sex studies are very bais. From reading I have done it does not matter race, religion, sexual preference the divorce rate is pretty much equal across the board. My personal opinion is, its none of my business and your welcome to do pretty much what you enjoy. I am religious but I am open minded enough to know that everyone is welcome to their own opinion.

 

I fantasize about it, but I know in real life, I could never ever stomach it.

 

I really don't think you should answer this question unless you're either in or have been in a very serious relationship or engaged or married because it's a lot different to watch a GF have sex than a spouse. I really can't say if I would or not because I have no idea what it would be like to be married and I've never really been in love before just lust. I do know however that anybody who isn't in or hasn't been in a serious relationship has no ground to stand on when answering because you don't know what it's like to be in that situation unless you've been in a serious relationship before. just my 2 cents

 

Good point.

I live with a girl. Is that serious enough to answer?

 

Good Point

Baller you have a very good point.

 

Both my wife and I had been extremely curious about a threesome with another guy. For a couple of years it was one of our fantasies that we would verbalize while having sex with one another.

So finally one day we had the opportunity to do it and on a lark, we went for it. I was very nervous that I wouldn't be able to handle it but as it turned out, I found it incredibly exciting.

I think the secret is that you have get it into your head that it is, as Larry Flynt says, just sex. As long as you can keep the emotions out of it, it's a turn-on, not a turn-off. The other guy was extremely well hung and I totally got off on seeing his big cock go down her throat and up her cunt. We did it all. She would suck my cock while he fucked her and then we would switch and I would fuck her while she sucked his cock.

To give you an idea how stimulating this was, I was able to cum three times....and so did the other guy....and my wife must have had 30 orgasms. Normally, it's a struggle for me to cum twice in a session and I was so turned on that making it three times was no big deal.

We only did the threesome thing once but it was fantasy material for many a session between just the two of us.

 

I'd watch but only if I got to beat the two afterwards with a baseball bat then break up with her. So basically; no, nor would I even allow the thought to cross her mind. :?

Spurtz, if my girl ever had that thought of bringing another guy, I would probably leave her. You are incredibly brave to have your girl get fucked by another man while you're there but I would hate for that. But as they say "to each his own"

 

well ive watched my GF fuck another guy

Ive got NO problem sorting SEX from LOVE, some people can some people cant, you can have sex, and you can make love, theyre two different things

 

to me, sex is love. its a way to further express your love for your significant other, i wouldn't be able to handle my girl having sex with another guy

 

Exactly.

 

Being married to me means you only have sex with me and vice-versa.

Now, if I wasn't married and the guy I was in a relationship with was as sexual as I am and I didn't have deep feelings for him, I probably could watch him do someone else.

 

I agree totally. For the first two thirds of my sexual life, there was no way in hell that I could ever have done anything like that. To me, sex and love were inseparable. But as I have progressed along in life, I begin to look for new avenues to explore sexually and the episode I described in an earlier post was just one such new avenue. I have been able to totally separate sex from love. It is possible to have impersonal sex and still have it be very exciting and satisfying. Admittedly, it is a totally different kind of satisfaction than having emotional, loving sex with somebody you really love.

It's interesting, but while I had no trouble with watching her suck his cock, if the two had kissed, it would have bothered the hell out of me. I knew that going in and one of the ground rules was no kissing or hugging or any kind of what I would classify as personalized emotional contact.

I know it is difficult for most people to separate the two but it is definitely possible.

 

pookey she's your GF not your spouse when you get married most of the time SEX and LOVE correlate i have no problem distinguishing SEX from LOVE but when my husband and I have sex it's also an expression of our love for each other

 

But haven't you ever had sex with somebody you weren't in love with? I know it is more difficult for women to get their arms around that idea than it is for men. Most of the women I have known have a real need to be in love with anybody they have sex with .

But there is something called "recreational sex" and it can be a helluva lot of fun but you need to divorce yourself from the idea that love has to be a part of it. I have participated in more than one group sexual experience and I just take the attitude that it is going to be a "no strings attached" way of having some fun along with hopefully a few orgasms. It does take a mental adjustment and I am sure that's an adjustment that a lot of people will never be able to make. And that's fine.