Nada. I’m a fucking boyscout. Other than getting in trouble for fighting as a teenager. As an adult, I’ve never had so much as a speeding ticket. That shit is too much work, and I just want a nice, quiet, drama free life:

 

I don’t do illegal stuff, my angelic wings get in the way

 

When I was a teenager I swiped something from a large chain department store. It was awful. To this day I still feel guilty about it and think of that incident often. When ever I have the urge to do something wrong, maybe not illegal, but wrong, I remind myself of how bad I felt the day I stole something for the first, and last time, of my life.

 

I have been fined and held for having "Non-Conforming Medical Drugs".
Because I crossed over from a "Native American Reservation" onto a county road.
There is more than one meaning to "Stepping Over The Line".

 

I cut the tags off my new pillows.

 

@deegenerate

 

To be arrested and fined or jailed? Probably speeding. Took my 944 out and hit 160 a few times.

 

I laughed as a guy's unfunny joke because I wanted him to like me.

 

It's all in these books

 

I break the law almost everyday... but i will not self snitch on a fuckin porn forum

 

All I have to say is "Thank the Lord for the Statutes of Limitations"

 

I've transgressed the lines way to many times to count. Been caught a few times even, taught me to be more cunning. Like not attracting attention in the area that currently has an outstanding arrest warrant for me.

 

Without going into detail, that early morning pounding on the door, the hours long conversation with nice federal agents, who had there math worked out to forty some years, this young lad learned early on just how stupid you can be.
Fortunately some outside forces were in my favor, although the numbers matched, it was a different..... model works. A crime I had nothing to do with. As the song goes, that's the way it goes when you play the game.

 

I routinely break speed limits. Of course we all do but if the cops took their job seriously and got anal about stopping and fining speeders, every state and county would be rich. I drive for a living and my tasks are time sensitive so it's imperative that I try to get as much done as I can. Fortunately everyone is speeding these days, even the cops. I got stopped by a statie ten years ago and he tells me not to drive so fast because they're already giving us 22 mph free. I was doing 30 mph over.

 

I got ditched at a bar by a friend around closing time and had to walk/stumble/weave the few miles home.
On my way, I stopped at a small concrete place I worked at in high school and decided a fawn (very similar to this)

Would look good in my apartment.
I put it on my shoulder and went on my way. It wasn't long before I went to move it to my other shoulder and dropped it, breaking the ear off.
Fuck it.
It was long again before a cop coming from the other direction stopped and started asking questions. Name came back unclear or whatever and he put me in the back to take me to the station which was in the general direction of where I came from.
Again...it wasn't long before he was looking at his laptop police thingy and not watching the road when he ran over that concrete deer on the side of the road blowing out both tires on the passenger side of his squad car.
Yada, Yada, Yada...denied knowing anything about that concrete deer and ending up getting a ride home later by a different cop.

That's my best story and it was fucking awesome.

 

Sneaking candy into the movie theatre

Seriously, the only thing I’ve done illegally was maybe speeding. And public nudity.

 

Speeding would be the one for me.

 

I once threw a frisbee on the beach in Los Angeles County without the lifeguard's permission.
That's ILLEGAL, people!!!
(It really is).

Plus speeding, illegal left turns and... who knows - various other motor vehicle infractions.

 

Over the years any money I may have obtained in an illegal manner I have given to this poor family I know...So in a way, I'm like a hero.